I'm Speechless.

[Franco Verum]

Well, here I am, on the JUB stage again with a different designation next to my name.
I'd like to thank all the handsome homosexual gentlemen here tonight. Of course, my stunningly gorgeous husband, Russ, who, I need to read this, "Disavows anything I say or do here for legal purposes." Oh, I don't want to forget anyone this time! I'd like to thank the flying nuns of Convent San Tanco, where's that music coming from? My hairdresser, Char Mane, No. I won't get off the stage. My pet snow leopard, Snowpy, let go of my arm! The wonderful waitresses at the "Grease and Gristle" diner who always get my pie order right, actor and best friend Frank Jasper, who talked me off many a building ledge in the 80s, get your hands off me! Henry Cavill's chest! My fellow Heathers rareboy and Alistair! Where's my money Alex?!!!...

*Cuts to a Parkay Margarine commercial as I'm dragged off the stage*

 

[Thad1527]

^Is it OK if I'm not part of your world?

 

[Franco Verum]

^Is it OK if I'm not part of your world?

Aww. You are, and always will be, part of my world.

 

[Thad1527]

I like you and Russ fine. But your pet, and that hairdo, and your questionable taste in restaurants requires some tolerance. Your funness overrides.

 

[Peloso]

Snowpy?

 

[Franco Verum]

I like you and Russ fine. But your pet, and that hairdo, and your questionable taste in restaurants requires some tolerance. Your funness overrides.

Are you talking about the horse hair extensions? Because I'm not made out of money to buy real Indian hair.

 

[Franco Verum]

Snowpy?

It was that or "Mr. Rumpa Roasta." Which by the way also happens to be my drag king name.

 

[Franco Verum]

Good evening, no ladies and questionable gentlemen.

My name is Russell, and I am the husband of Franko on these forums. I'm here to accept his new name designation on JUB, as he will be unable to join us tonight. I left him in what I believe was his old prom dress, crying over bags of Taco Bell enchiritos in our bathroom that has triple locks from the inside. Hold it together next time, honey!

What can I say about my baby? That he was washed up after doing one sponge cake commercial that only aired in Indochina motel rooms?

But in all seriousness, I'm sure he would want me to share his new name designation with the Pasadena chapter of the Choctaw Indian Tribe, a people who are very dear to his heart,
for whatever reason I don't care about.

Thank you all and have a good night.
(APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE!)