I'm thinking about running away

[ravenstar]

I know you mean well ravenstar, and I cannot talk really for how OP would respond to your post, but for me i HATE the 'success stories' trip--with a vengeance. This whole sorry-arsed culture--if you aint noticed--is full of this 'winners versus losers' crap, and what this does is cause extreme stress for lots of people. There can only BE one 'winner' and the rest of us areeeee---yes 'losers'. This is the whole idea and conditioning behind so-called 'reality' shows where you have all these people all wannabe 'winners' but the reality is there only gonna be ONE winner. This is actually conditioning us to accept this 'reality' but as said it is toxic and causes really many people to feel all manner of distresses both physical and psychological. Because many feel they are worthless unless seen to be in others and their own eyes a 'winner', but like said it is IMPOSSIBLE and so is a major contradiction!

But it's not about winning or losing ludolfo, and if that's what you took from my post then I failed to clearly express myself. My whole post was about choices. The choice to watch tv and rot or take a risk. To sit in a garage and drink yourself into oblivion or to take the chance that maybe there was a better life out there for you if you just took a risk.

As I said in my post, I don't tell the stories to impress but to impress upon Dragon - and whoever else finds something in them - that there is a world outside door. All it takes is a choice - and a lot of hard work - and everything can be different.

I don't believe I'm a loser, despite the fact that I still tend to drop into a haze when life bites me. My friend David is not a winner because he took a chance and succeeded.

We are both winners - all winners - when we make the choice to take a risk. To wash a dish or empty an ashtray. Anything that gets us moving again.

 

[melancholy]

I think if you don't have any way to financially support yourself, then you'd be worse off if you ran away.

 

[Rolyo85]

I'm sorry to just butt in without constructive suggestions but reading this topic, it seems to be a stream of people offering advice and OP shooting them down with "you don't know how hard it is." Except, it seems that many actually do know. And ultimately, if OP is waiting for a magical solution that doesn't involve him busting his ass off to achieve, he has the wrong reality.

 

[melancholy]

I'm sorry to just butt in without constructive suggestions but reading this topic, it seems to be a stream of people offering advice and OP shooting them down with "you don't know how hard it is." Except, it seems that many actually do know. And ultimately, if OP is waiting for a magical solution that doesn't involve him busting his ass off to achieve, he has the wrong reality.

I concur. The OP should stay at home until he's ready.

 

[Rolyo85]

Stay at home? That's all I ever do anymore. I know I have to work past this somehow, but what is so wrong with wanting other's help and support so oneself can conjure up the strength and courage to move on? I can't fight this alone.

If you want the help, why do you keep dismissing it?

 

[Rolyo85]

Your health, obviously, since it's sabotaging everything else. And the process of fixing your health will go a long way into dealing with your depression.

 

[dpnice]

These sort of threads always pose the same problem. Help is requested, advice and ideas are given (all of which are generally refused) and finally they deteriorate into harsh criticism about the OP being unwilling to pull his finger out and resolve his problems.

The majority of us have never experienced DragonFire's present situation and obviously, though this does not prevent us from giving advice and support, it is easy to misunderstand at what stage he is in fighting to overcome it. My impression is that he is not yet ready for the suggestions proffered and his constant refusals that our advice doesn't apply to him results in enormous frustration for those members who have taken the time and effort to help him.

It is impossible that our analysis of his problems will ever be the same as his personal point of view. But, in my opinion, the importance of this and many other similar threads is that it opens up a form of dialogue enabling someone suffering to express his sentiments and perhaps through his interaction with other members here find a way of his own onto the road of recovery.

We shouldn't let our frustration, over the fact that the OP doesn't apply our advise and suddenly find himself capable of living a full and enjoyable life thanks to our caring and well thought out solutions, lead us to think that all this is worthless. Hopefully, just due to the fact that he has been able to express himself has enabled him to improve his understanding of what he needs to do to sort himself out.

JUB is a gay forum and though many of the members are caring and thoughtful, willing to take an interest in a complete stranger's problems do we really have the necessary skills to accompany someone out of a pathological depression?

DragonFire I wish you well and hope that the thoughts and ideas posted here will help; perhaps not today but possibly in a future not too far ahead.

 

[ravenstar]

I'm not dismissing anything, it's a lot to take in when a bunch of people keep telling you what you should do, and that is fine, but I can't conquer all my problems in one day (as nice as that would be). In all seriousness, what do I conquer first? My health? Depression? My non-existent social life? The issues I have with other people?

In all seriousness, just pick one. When all three roads are each as long as the other it doesn't matter which road you pick, so long as you pick a road and work towards walking to the end of it. Ask yourself which you want to tackle first then do it.

 

[Telstra]

Running away will not solve your problem.
No one can hide or make from their life history disappear so yea you have to deal with the problems head on.

 

[dpnice]

I'm glad someone has reasoning around here. Not saying that the others don't though.

This wasn't really very kind of you as the manner in which you worded your post implies that all the other comments made so far are worthless.

 

[rareboy]

I want to comment a little more on the issue of panic attacks. The fight or flight response is a part of every healthy person's make-up. But there are a number of factors both physiological and psychological that can tip the balance and produce a bio-chemical response that leads to high anxiety and panic attacks when the flight response totally takes control. In my own family there is a genetic predisposition to this on my Dutch side...something that goes back at least four generations. Of course now we all understand that the Serotonin uptake is the cause and our diet, sleep patterns and general good health all need to be monitored and optimized for Serotonin uptake ....or else it can result in disarrangement. This can also mean using an SRI for limited or extended periods of time. And taking something to help ensure restful and continuous sleep.
It can also require some therapeutic support with a psychiatrist or psychologist to help identify behavioural triggers. The fact that you have been considering 'running away' is indicative that you are currently experiencing generalized anxiety and that your flight response is overtaking your desire to face things and 'fight', by which I mean cope...not picking a scrap. I think that all of us who have been in dark places and emerged on the other side only want the best for those we hear who are going through some of the same things. Because it is possible to overcome almost anything.

 

[baseballdude90]

Things really aren't that bad for you, you just have to look at the good things in life. You are 23 and have GERD, compared to some others your life isn't too bad (for example a 45 year old with HIV.)

I'm also 23, I also have GERD, I have a shitty job, people think I am a dumb twink, but I am happy because I stay positive.

 

[seven2go]

The odd sleeping patterns likely are not good for your physical or mental health.

By the way, still ask for a lab test for heliobacter pilori.

Regarding the heliobacter pilori: you can try self treating with Pepto-Bismol or any "pink stuff" equivalent.
Pepto contains Bismuth which has proved to be an effective killer of the heliobacter pilori bacteria.
Sometimes all by itself or in combo with another inexpensive medication.
Look it up....... https://www.google.com/search?clien...rceid=opera&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&channel=suggest