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In A Relationship with a Atheist

Inwood

Inwood

I feel pretty
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Simple. Don't allow it to become a problem between you two.

There are plenty of differences between my partner Nick and me, yet we don't allow those differences to come between us. It's a matter of respecting your partner and compromise.
 
An athiest? I don't believe it.

Joking aside...

There's really nothing to resolve, actually. You keep your beliefs private, and he keeps his private. And yes, being atheist is a belief.

Lex
 
>>>Isn't Catholicism part of Christian ecclesiology. Aren't they the exact same thing?

Catholicism is a subset of Christianity. So yes, all Catholics are Christians. But not all Christians are Catholics.

The implication, I think, is that his family is Protestant.

Lex
 
People use these words in lots of ways. I'm an atheist, so I don't use these words at all to describe myself, but I once had a student who told me he used to be a Catholic and now he was a Christian. I asked him the same question a lot of you are asking. He said something like Catholics go through a priest or the saints, but "Christians" (as he used the term) dealt directly with Christ. I think he had converted to one of the Evangelical groups.
 
Intimacy isn't easy and you should think about whether you're not just using religious concerns an excuse to start pushing him away.
This isn't the same a you thinking a bus is coming at you and him thinking there isn't. In that situation, there's an objective reality. One of you is right and the other is wrong.

In your situation, you're dealing with purely subjective choices. You've made yours and he's made his. But there's no way of knowing for sure one way or the other. Faith isn't always fact.

As long as you realize that and respect each others choices, there shouldn't be problem. Many couples have very different relgious and political views.

The difficulties arise if you think he has to change and he doesn't think he does (or vice versa) and that would be an issue in any important area, not just religion.

So don't sweat the religious stuff or, if you do, find someone else who shares your faith.
 
I have no serious problem with religion for others, but personally I think each one is ridiculous. Especially Christianity. Note I'm talking about religion not belief in God.

I dont think I could ever seriously date someone who believed in Christ heh.

You have to decide what your important issues are...the ones that are divisive enough.
 
No suggestions. Just a comment: Many people find religion when faced with their own mortality.
 
ajax49 said:
People use these words in lots of ways. I'm an atheist, so I don't use these words at all to describe myself, but I once had a student who told me he used to be a Catholic and now he was a Christian. I asked him the same question a lot of you are asking. He said something like Catholics go through a priest or the saints, but "Christians" (as he used the term) dealt directly with Christ. I think he had converted to one of the Evangelical groups.
Click to expand...
That's the way I read it, that when he was referring to "christian" he meant a specific evangelical group... I kind of resent them trying to steal the word for themselves...

but then, look at the word atheist, where there are now so many people insisting that it implies a specific belief (which I don't share), that it leaves me without a handy label I can feel comfy with...

but back on topic, isn't it silly to try to avoid a relationship with someone you like because some of your differences - be they age, race, religion - could lead to a future break up? Go ahead with your feelings, be true to yourself and respect your partner for being true to himself. If it turns out that these differences become important and stresses the relationship to the breaking point, then so be it. You'll both be richer for having tried.
 
Your kidding me right! Dude this isn't even a problem. Who cares. How many times do you have a religious conversation with people. My religious views are this "The universe will provide!" gee your making a mountain out of a mole hill! ;)

Trust me...you'll have bigger things to worry about in order to keep a relationship going besides religon!

Good luck kiddo!!
 
As long as he doesnt take it overboard, I dont think it is much of an issue.
 
Means nothing.

A good christian knows that his faith is between him and his god and what others believe or don't believe is of no importance at all. If it is, you've lost your way and your faith is not very strong if it is threatened by someone else's lack of faith.

A good atheist knows that his lack of belief in any religion is between him and him. What others believe shouldn't be of any importance to him at all. If it is, he is not a true atheist because he is afraid of faith.

Obviously when you're on your knees in his presence, it won't be to pray.
 
There are bound to be differences of option between you and your partner on certain issues. Don't let it become an issue between the two of you, simply focus on the positives
 
I am reminded of something reading this post. Something about me.

The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was (yes he was)

I am an athiest, he was a real son of a preacher man and is still very religious. It worked out, it can work out for you too :)
 
If he'd remained catholic, like his family, you wouldn't be having a gay relationship with him. So be thankful that he has sufficient integrity to make up his own mind - these aspects of his character contribute to his "amazingness."
 
Jeffery00 said:
Ok well just recently, i've hooked up with the most amazing guy ever. For once, i've become truly happy. (Also I came out the closet)

Well, yesterday me and him talked and he told me that he's a atheist. I was a bit surprised, being as this is my first relationship with someone who doesn't believe in a certain religion.

His family is Catholic - mine being Christian. However, (somewhere down the line in his childhood) he lost interest in religion.

I know this might be difficult because i'm religious (not a religious freak) and he isn't...

I'm confused. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.
Click to expand...

i agree with inwood, don't let it become an issue between you two. Respect his views and ask him to respect yours. If he's an atheist i'm sure he'll be fine with that arrangement. Don't try to convert him, that's for sure, and ask him not to do the same. Go to church when you feel like it, ask him to come if he wants, if he says yes, be happy he's going it for you, if he says no, respect that it's not his beleifs and enjoy yourself at church. It's really that simple. As long as you hold NO EXPECTATIONS for him to become religious, or practice your religion with you, and vice versa, then there will never be a problem. :D
 
And how is this a problem? Just don't get into any discussions about religion and don't try to make him go to church with you on Sunday.
 
I've dated 2 guys in the past that were both religious. They went to church every sunday and they were into it. One jewish the other some christian sect. I have to say they were the most challenging relationships to be in.

Im not religious, after 12 years of catholic school i realized everyone was full of shit. However, i respected my former boyfriends right to engauge in whatever religious activity they wanted and i supported their choices to do so. But wouldnt you know it, neither of them would let me be about not having a religion. I do find that the sheep mentality of most religions curbs independant thought. I digress, Both of them hounded me to go to there respective services and join in. Its like asking a vegan to go to a butcher shop and be excited about it.

If you're not pushy about your religion and accept his choice the way he has yours, I dont see why it would be a huge issue. If however you're waking him up every sunday morning at 7am to drag him to Mass, thats kinda not fair to him.

Best of luck.
 
Notice that the people who say it shouldn't make any difference are not strongly committed to a particular faith. If your religion is a major force in your life, it does make a difference that your partner in all other matters is not a believer. Jeffrey, don't be embarrassed if your friend's lack of faith is a problem for you. How you feel about it is part of who you are. In these circumstances, you are going to have to adjust if the relationship is going to flourish. It's up to you.
 
Budda, Like you I am a survivor of 12 years of Catholic schooling, which helped me get over the relgion thing.

Jeffrey, I would be very disappointed with him if he didn't respect your religious needs, and as long as you don't expect him to observe with you, why should there be a problem.

I had a two year relationship with a conservative republican. Now, that was a struggle.
 
It really depends on the two of you as to if it's an issue. Some people are so entrenched in their beliefs that they have a problem accepting that others have different beliefs. Others can agree to disagree and it's a non issue. You need to figure out which of these situations the two of you fall into.
 
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