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In a rut

B

bleedlikeme

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I've been with my bf for over a year now and over the past few months I've been thinking a lot about the relationship.
There's a few things in particular that are disturbing me:

- We NEVER kiss with tongue anymore. Honestly can't remember when was the last time.

- - Im a top and my bF won't bottom, says it hurts too much. So for our entire relationship it's basically involved me getting head or jacking off. He won't let me blow him. Pretty unsatisfied sexually. I actually felt weird and went soft last time he was giving me head.

- I hooked up with someone else a few months back. It was my first 'fuck' in a long time. I have these crazy urges to top. Crazy gay hormones or whatever. Basically

-I really want to travel but he says it will take him a long time to save. I wanna go within next year but every time i bring it up he sorta doesn't take it seriously.

- we don't spend as much time as we used to with each other and IM OK with that, but in the past i used to be happy to spend every day together.

-we are both 23.

I feel like im in a rut and not sure what to do.
 
Hey,

If the relationship is not for you, it's not for you buddy. I obviously don't know the whole story from a brief message board post but it seems like it's not going anywhere for either of yous. I'd just end it and move on to greener pastures.

I like the username by the way, I hope it's a Garbage reference.
 
You may have drifted apart and it's time for a good long talk about what you guy's want out of this and where it is going.

You may need/try a break, or even go your own way and just be friends.

Moving on may be only choice unless you both sit down and communicate your wants and a needs and be clear.

does not some like you 2 communicate very well, and he seems more closed minded to options to try.

so think it out and if you have to move on , it may be best for the both of you..and start fresh with someone you find more complatable...
 
Welcome to JUB. I'm sorry for your distress. You have some serious issues cooking here and they need to be addressed. As some who has been in a relationship for 28 years I am a relationship cheerleader, but I have to admit I'm baffled by yours. What brought you together in the first place? Have you tried bottoming? I think it's a shame when gay guys don't at least attempt to take full advantage of being gay. If I'd ever write a sex sex manual it's title would be, Towards Versatility.

It would be nice if you two could work it out but you are going to have to examine the "glue" that brought you together and analyze if it's enough to keep you together now.

Good luck to you both.
 
You are a top and an important part of a relationship is sexual compatibility. You shouldn't have a problem with your sex life after only a year or two. Find someone better suited for you.
 
So you've been in a "relationship" for a year, but for the past few months you've been unsatisfied sexually. So in reality you were only together for several weeks / few months before this popped up, and you've just stuck with it for whatever reason. I imagine because it's easier to "go with the flow" vs. having to face the reality of being alone.

Time to break it off and move on. This isn't a relationship where you were happy, fulfilled, and contented for many years before the issues popped up, but rather you went from lust to loathing, with no love in there.

Break it off immediately. Every day you let slide in addressing this non-working relationship is another wasted day you get older and missing out on life.
 
Are you two in a monogamous relationship? Have either of you been tested for HIV or other diseases recently? You should talk and find out what you can and decide if the relationship is going to work or not.

I'm sure it is wrong, but I got the impression he was trying to protect you, not allowing you to engage in anything possibly dangerous. My morbid imagination.

Do take care and do celebrate your life.

Rand
 
Usually, these threads being with "I really love by boyfriend and we're mostly happy together but..."

You post is noteworthy in that you have completely omitted everything before the "but...".

That's never a good place to be in any relationship. It makes everyone wonder, "Then why don't you end it?".

So.... why don't you end it?
 
Rand I was thinking the same thing. It definitely sounds like he is trying to protect you. You both might need to go to the doctor.
 
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