In HS how comfortable were u with your homosexuality?

[kevbo]

Somewhat comfortable. I was still trying to figure out what part of the scale I fell on, whether I was bisexual or not, etc.

 

[Kulindahr]

To make a long story short, I thought my sexuality was just the worst thing in the world.

I wanted to be anything but gay.

NOT AT ALL.

Hell, I wasn't even out to myself yet.

These, but especially what Moe said. From the way I grew up, to me 'way past high school sex was evil, hard-ons were from the devil, wet dreams were sinful, "touching myself" was practically an indication of demon possession. It wasn't till my second time in college that I even accepted that it was okay to be sexual.

So I envy all the guys today who get the chance for young love. I, like many from not so long ago, got robbed.

 

[jjonn3]

Comfortable when having sex with my buddy? Very.

Comfortable with anyone else knowing? Not at all.

I loved doing it - but kept thinking I would "out grow" it!

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I was scared as shit. In my freshman year of High School I decided to come out to a really good friend that I felt I could trust. By the end of the day I found out that he had already told a lot of people when I had told him to keep it a secret. Everyone in our little group of friends came coming up to me asking if it was true. At that time I had some cousins going to the same high school and I was so scared that they mind find out that I just started skipping school. I somehow convinced my parents to let me get in this program called Independent Studies were I wouldn't have to go to a normal High School and see people I consider my friends daily. To this day I somehow regret not going to a normal High School.

 

[eyeoftheshark]

No!Not at all!

 

[yummylongsword]

I was out since Freshmen year. I wrote "mostly comfortable" because I always wished I could just be "one of the guys" and be a little bit cooler and funnier and such. But I really wanted to change everything about me a little bit, the gayness really was never a problem for me or anyone around me... I often got (and still do get) comments like "wow, I never would have guessed you were gay!" and "you're the least-gay gay guy I know" which I always take as compliments. Maybe I should get over my preconceptions about gender roles.

 

[AlmondMilk]

I was uncomfortable. My friends who I expected to be gay or bi then were so in the closet in high school. They'd make comments on gay people -.- So that never really helped.

 

[wonderwort]

Thanks everyone for voting and sharing. This thread is very illuminating for me and , Im sure, a lot of other people.

The original inspiration was the fact that I JUST COULDN'T get why people felt suicidal when they were bullied.

When I was in HS I was sometimes bullied (mostly verbal teasing) mercilessly and I never ever felt suicidal.

This thread helped understand that :

For a person who already has existing personal dramas and issues galore......bullying may drive them over the edge to suicide.

 

[Musik2400]

I was totally okay with it... mind you this is once I realized it actuallly was there! haha.

In highschool I was just a normal average guy, same as all my other classmates. Since straight was "normal" I just assumed I was straight... it wasn't until I did some introspection in Grade 11 I realized that was wrong. I came out within 2 months of figuring it out and never had a problem. There were 2 other gay kids at my school of 1500, and 1 bisexual... they were all in the same grade, and all your "stereotypical" gay in one way or another. I wasn't. Most people didn't know unless I told them (I say most because it was a small school, and once word got out, everyone learned of it quickly.) I never got picked on, because most people didn't believe I was gay, because the flamers at the school were what most highschool kids assumed was the definition of Gay. (actually lost a friend over this because he thought I was faking being gay to hookup with one of the females in our group of friends...)

But ya.. I didn't care. The biggest bother to me was that my brother had a harder time of it than I did. people were scare dof me in highschool, so no one insulted me, no one made fun of me.... they just talked about me behind my back to my brother. he hated it and tried to defend mme... It bothered me because they didn't have the balls to say it to my face cuz they knew i'd drop them right there....

Other than that though, totally fine. I came to terms and was comfortable with being Gay shortly after realizing it was. i figure if that's who I am there's no point in hating it. II may be Gay, but my Homosexuality isn't all I am, so why worry about it? Why fret? I just lived my life the way I always had been doing, its just that I now realized I liked guys.

 

[FanofFiction]

I thought about suicide, but not so much because of the rare bullying. When I was bullied I would just throw down with the asshole and kick his head in... in retrospect not the best way to handle it. I'm really religious and my own guilt was overwhelming. I felt bad for so many reasons; I was gay, I was lying to all of my friends and family, I was torturing other gay kids (with taunts and alienation), I was betraying my girlfriends by not truly loving them as they should be loved...

I wanted an easy escape. Suicide actually seemed like the logical answer. How crazy was I? That's insane. Suicide is never an answer.

 

[Puzuzzu]

I was fairly out....but in terms of the bullying that people mentioned above, I bullied and was bullied.

 

[pablo6989]

Unfortunately I am not comfortable with gay side of my sexuality. But my self acceptance in that area is improving....

But yeah the most problematic for me is that people dont accept it and all that shit.

 

[Audio Tech]

Thanks everyone for voting and sharing. This thread is very illuminating for me and , Im sure, a lot of other people.

The original inspiration was the fact that I JUST COULDN'T get why people felt suicidal when they were bullied.

When I was in HS I was sometimes bullied (mostly verbal teasing) mercilessly and I never ever felt suicidal.

This thread helped understand that :

For a person who already has existing personal dramas and issues galore......bullying may drive them over the edge to suicide.

Oh yeah, I thought about suicide a LOT. Mostly because I felt inadequate, isolated, and hopeless that I could EVER have a "normal" life. Then being picked on

But you can't change the past. Only go forward.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

askin united nations fa compensation

ans fa criminal charges a be a bring ta these countrys folk&associates&professions fa gross inhuman cruelty ans lot other words ta life fa past 10000 years what a continue taday

it world class action suit < very stylish Made out a skin waht come already made ta wear

nah just kiddins
' '

fairy kiss ans make a wish
but wear yaself
before ya make

 

[RaKroma]

I was robbed of my teenage/high school years because I lived a double life to hide my sexuality and feelings from everyone around me. I never had the normal dating experiences like my peers had in high school and pretty much the same through college years. I'd say even around gay people, I sometimes get that feeling where I'm still not comfortable.

 

[The_Reaper]

I wasn't vocal about my own sexuality, but I was very vocal about defending the rights of homosexuals.

Keep in mind, I went to a catholic high school, and served as student body president...And I did get into trouble a few times because of my relentless attacks on the catholic mindset in the school newspaper, of which I was editor.

I wrote a long editorial applauding our province for approving same-sex marriage (which my newspaper teacher supervisor loved, if only for the controversy) which led to a rebuttal from a 'student' (though it was clearly written by his minister father); it also led to the main priest from the church coming to speak with staff members after school and handling out a pamphlet to them full of 'talking points' on the church's view on the subject.

One teacher even took me aside after class, as I welcomed civilized debate at the end of my rant, and more or less droned on for an hour about how wrong I was and a man of my age couldn't know more than a thousand year old church.

She also took the opportunity to show me a 'mock editorial' that attacked me personally and my future career goals, but was wise enough not to let me leave the room with it.

Though the best moment that came from that was being taken aside by a teacher's aide who proceeded to give me the biggest hug I think I've ever had in my life. She thanked me for being reasonable, and insightful, and told me that it took a lot of courage to write something like that.

I should mention that her son, now a very famous openly gay actor/tv presenter, went to our school years ago and as mentioned was openly gay to his family.

But still, I wasn't too vocal about my own sexuality.

In fact, I was a bit of a douchebag to the only other known gay guy in our high school. We had talked a bit in grade 9, but we never really clicked as friends. We shared the occasional word and class, but that was about it.

When I found out he was gay (because he opened an MSN group for gay guys in our hometown, which he filled with porn), I more or less told a few people about...essentially outing him, though everyone knew he was gay already.

I still regret that decision.

Then of course, eventually, we both found each other online and I eventually admitted who I was to him. Despite plans, we never did hang out with one another...And I was still a dick, telling him not to talk to me at school either.

I still regret that one as well.

Of course, I did it because I was worried by being associated with him everyone else would find out I was gay too...

So I guess that answers your question about how comfortable I was with my sexuality in high school.

 

[wonderwort]

Many of you shared that you were more comfortable with your homosexuality AFTER HS.

My story is a bit different.

In HS I was EXTREMELY comfortable with my homosexuality.

Some years after HS.....I came out to my best straight male friend....and he dropped me like a bad habit.

Ever since losing my best friend......I've been MOSTLY comfortable with my homosexuality.