In Love...2 years...still in the closet

[ellen87]

Hi everyone,

I've got a relationship with my boyfriend for 2,5 years.
It's pretty difficult for me..

He's the best, i like him but...

His family are against gay's and lesbian's there very old fashion.
And he doesn't dare to tell it to them..

My parents found a note on my computer, and since then they know it about me.
For the rest nobody knows. They do talk about us, but no one is for sure. My BF thinks his parents don't know anything about us. But there are so much obstacles for us. We can't go to the movie with just the 2 of us, beacause he's afraid that his parents might think something about us.

He's very scared to be open to them about his feelings.

Now is the problem, i'm also afraid of the reactions from the other people around us, but i hate the fact that we can't do anything we like...

What could i do?

 

[G-Lexington]

Hey there. What's the dealy-o with you two and your parents? I'm assuming you're both still living at home. Any chance this can change in the near future?

Lex

 

[RukkuS]

if you've been dating for 2.5 years, i'm sure everybody is suspicious. I know your being careful, but that could make it even more obvious.

 

[torontoguy22]

holy shit, how does your bf manage to stay in a gay relationship while in the closet? i tried that and gave up after a month lol. you two must have something special. i can't really give you any advice, but hopefully others can! good luck!

 

[landers]

I don't know about you but I find lying to be a very effective tool to use when you want to stay in the closet. I know it's not the best solution but sometimes it's the only solution. They don't have to be big lies just little ones that create plausible situations.

Instead of going on a date with your boyfriend you're going out to dinner or the movies with friends. Unless you're caught making out wherever you are who's gonna know what you're actually doing?

 

[sixthson]

I cannot imagine anything more awful than what you described. Living a life of fear and shame is no way to live.
I can understand if you are young and dependent on your parents for support, but if not, you really need to come to terms with the parents or face a miserable life hiding in the shadows and pretending you don't know each other.

If you are unhappy now, imagine what it will be like in 10 years.

 

[najfus]

How old are you and your boyfriend?

 

[ellen87]

Well.. we're both living with our parents.. we're both 20 years old

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Well.. we're both living with our parents.. we're both 20 years old

Then make a plan to change that. So you're both making enough that you can get a place of your own as soon as possible. At that point, you won't have to live the lie anymore.

Lex

 

[Kyanimal]

Living Your LIVES, trying to adapt to what others may think of You, is NO way to LIVE!! Trust me on that one ... it was a hard lesson to learn!!

The toughest, and, yet, easiest, thing to realize, it is not Your "duty" to live according to "Their" expectations, but, rather, it is "Their" ability to adapt to YOU!!

Will "They" accept You as You are? You might be very pleasantly surprised! Then, again, maybe "it" might be beyond their "range" to understand. In any case, it's really up to "Them" how they may react. But, it is not Your "responsibility" to deny, or "save them", from that choice. All, and the Best, that You can do is be Yourself! Whatever may come of that can be dealt with as it unfolds!

A "scarey" proposition? Sure it is! But, the alternatives truly are far more worse to have to cope with!

BE YOU!!!

And, of course, no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Ninja108]

I would recommend moving out, living a lie is no way to live. It will eventually destroy you

 

[rareboy]

I would also recommend growing up and moving out.

Even if you're in school, there must be a way to get accommodation with some others and afford the freedom of being independent.