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In Love with a straight guy.

U

UndieFreak

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I am Bi, I am not out.
I have this friend, which ive known for over 11 years. I had not really talked to him as much as I do now. I started talking to him more and haging out with him since he started working where I work. We are like best friends now. I had never felt attractive to him till now even though I had spent time with him before. I am pretty sure he is straight. I feel I am inlove with him. This love is driving me nuts. I know I cant have him. I was thinking of just stop talking to him. But I dont know if i should do that. I want to not love him anymore. Should I stop talking to him?
 
No. Don't stop talking to him. This happened to me last year, and I know it's very hard to deal with, but if you stop talking to him, he won't be in any part of your life. I talked to my friend about it and he gave me some good advice. He told me to try not to focus on that part. You want to be with him, spend time with him, talk to him, right? If you focus on doing that, and only doing that, you might be able to rid yourself of these intense feelings which cannot help you. And though I still feel attracted to him every time i see him, which is not as often because he goes to a different college, it is much easier for me. All imm saying is that you should try something else before cutting him out of you life completely because you will regret it if you do. ( i think)
 
You always want what you CANT HAVE. It's human nature. If I had a nickle for everytime i had the hots for one of my straight friends i would bt a millionaire. IF YOU lived in your magical land and you and this straight guy fell in love, you would get bored and fall for another guy you know you cant have. Get over him and find someone who is gay/bi that you love. As Common sense as that answer is, i find its the only one that works.
 
SilverRRCloud said:
Treasure his friendship and find yourself a BF.

SC
Click to expand...
I agree completely. Love him as a friend, but accept the fact that he can be a plataonic friend to you, but nothing more. Cherish that. And, find a boyfriend who will complete the picture and who's capable of loving you back in the same way you love him.

Good luck! Let us know how you're doing.
 
HI, keep him as a friend. try to find out if he would still be your friend if he knew you were gay. I dont know how good a friend are you, but try finding that out indirectly.

Get a BF.
 
dude, I'm totally in the same situation right now. Yeah, it's hard but you just have to fight your feelings and go with it. Granted, I still want him sometimes and beat myself over it, but there is always someone else down the road.
 
UndieFreak said:
I am Bi, I am not out.
I have this friend, which ive known for over 11 years. I had not really talked to him as much as I do now. I started talking to him more and haging out with him since he started working where I work. We are like best friends now. I had never felt attractive to him till now even though I had spent time with him before. I am pretty sure he is straight. I feel I am inlove with him. This love is driving me nuts. I know I cant have him. I was thinking of just stop talking to him. But I dont know if i should do that. I want to not love him anymore. Should I stop talking to him?
Click to expand...
No, you should create a life of your own outside of this one guy. If he's th eonly one you talk to, you'll feel like this forever.
Coming out of the closet will cure your love for him right away--I know, it sounds crazy, but it's true. Ask Soilwork to expand.
 
By all means, keep him as a friend. They're hard to make/keep, so hang on to it if at all possible.

Find out what he things about gays, and if he's cool, then tell him you're Bi. I wouldn't recommend telling him that you love him, at least not right away.

But keep him in your corner (figuratively) if at all possible.
 
Keep talking to him, don't just stop talking to him. If you have known him for 11 years, it would be sad throw away such a fiendship.

You seem to be trying to keep your feelings in check.

If you can try and meet some other gay guys.
 
G'day Undie,

The guys here are right...cherish and value this guys friendship. It sounds to me like you have found a real true buddy given that its lasted so long.

Its a pretty sad fact of life that, especially at your age and at a time of self discovery, that you will have more than one partner...ands it damn difficult to maintain any sort of relationships with ex's. And thats the real risk here..come out and lose him or even if he is gay have a relationship and maybe lose him.

Life teaches up with time that true friends are very rare and very valuable - they can be hard to find. Someone else will enter your life and you'll be grateful you kept this guy as a friend!
 
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