In love with a straight guy

[Shepherd 2]

It's called infatuation. So please bend over while I give you a swift kick to the ass. If it would help you to get over it, consider I am a muscular man and a gym rat who would be glad to show you the ropes and a lot more. So move on.
Shep+

 

[gmoney]

It's called infatuation. So please bend over while I give you a swift kick to the ass. So move on.
Shep+

Bingo! You are definitely incurring a severe case of infatuation! Been there, done that.

Quit thinking with the wrong head and enjoy having this guy as a good friend. You both will be much happier once you figure this out.

 

[SkinnyBoi87]

I never knew falling in love with a straight guy can be so miserable......until now when it finally happened to me.

If he has a girlfriend, and he is interested in girls, let it be for now. Just keep your feelings about him to yourself. Trust me, I know it's hard. And when I say know, I mean know, because I was in your shoes not to long ago with one of my best friends.

Have you told him you are gay? Just to see how he handles it? I mean, just tell him your gay, and that you're not attracted to him, just to gauge his reaction on how he tolerates gay people, and then maybe go from there?

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

What is wrong with having a fantasy? As long as you know the line between fiction and reality, pretty harmless. Meanwhile, go find a nice GAY man

 

[Hot White Trash]

I am embarrassed to even tell what I fool I have been, but this is the perfect forum to do it.

My very first day of college class I met Andy because we were sitting next to each other. We sat together at a couple more classes and became quick friends. As the year went on we did a lot together - we worked out, went to football games, even took trips. I fell in love.

When second year came Andy asked to be roommates. I already had agreed to room with someone else but decided to room with Andy. My love turned into obsession. I even spied on him in the shower and jacking off. He finally came out and asked, "are you gay?" I denied it, but he made it clear that he was not. The rest of the year we barely spoke and he blamed me for some bad grades. After we stopped being roommates we basically stopped being friends. And it was all my fault.

I hope no one makes the mistake I did.

 

[slnattak]

That doesn't sound like it was ALL your fault...

I think a lot of advice in this thread is too absolute. It's not an either/or thing. But he's obviously more into women and he's not into you, regardless. Instead of thinking it as a straight guy thing, think of it as a he's just not into you thing, cause I fancied gay guys before that didn't like me that way. Well they did, but we just had a falling out.

 

[rareboy]

^ Excellent morality tale, Hot White Trash.

It ends like this 90% of the time, I'll bet.

So at least you know you're in good company and while you have regrets, c'est la guerre.

 

[bluedragon4]

The true thing you said is there are 2 many threads on this. And no one ever learns. I find it so sad to read these and see the fake glimmer of hope these guys try to find in nothing. Like saying he has three sisters so his family wouldn't be happy. Like you still had a chance but because of his family it can never be. I fell for a straight guy in high school. But I never once thought he was gay or I could have him. I was never delusional about the whole thing. And I learned from it. i have never fallen for a straight man since. I only ever went for openly gay men who I could have something with. Why do you want to moon over a guy who doesn't want you when there are so many gay men who would probably like you? I still like to be chased by men and straight men ain't gonna chase me.

 

[chace1617]

i've been there and i'm sure nothing is gonna happen, he sees you as a friend obviously and you have to respect the fact that he is str8, if you don't want to ruin this friendship just keep pretending you're str8 cause str8 guys most of the times freak out when you tell them you're gay, the worst happens when you tell them you want to suck them...

 

[erobert]

But then he brings out the topic on girls and all my hopes are crushed instantly.
Turns out he used to have 3 ex-girlfriends and he's currently seeing and dating a girl right now.

I just play along with him and pretend to be straight because I don't want to lose a friend like him.

I really like him a lot but he's like as straight as an arrow ,so should I just forget about it.

I mean,it's not like it's going to work out and I really don't want to destroy a friendship.

I never knew falling in love with a straight guy can be so miserable......until now when it finally happened to me.

Lots of good advice here for you and others in similar situations.

Mentioning of a current girlfriend is a red flag for me. Straight or bi- if they mention they have a girlfriend I put them in the friend category. You need to find someone who can reciprocate your love and affection. That should make it very clear right there.

It can be very miserable and that's why you need to consider when you want to come out of the closet. I don't want to push you out but people tend to fall for others around them, aka the proximity effect.

I think if he is a close friend you should tell him you're gay. People who are secure with their sexuality will not freak out. If he does, he really wasn't a friend in the first place. The sooner the better, until then they'll assume your straight too. It's better to do the right thing rather than the easy thing.

Secondly, you need to surround yourself with more gay single men. In other word you need to eventually move to the city where there are out gay men. Save your money up and move to the city so you can associate with more gay guys.

I think part of the obsession with straight guys is the fact that a lot of closeted guys don't want to be associated with the "stereotypes" of being gay and fear they'll out themselves by hanging out with gay or even bi guys. So many chase after the around straight guys or worse their straight friends. This will cause you to be sad, lonely in the long run, with a history of ruined friendships.

There are far too many threads like this and many of the people who started them had their hearts broken. This can make you unnecessarily bitter or cynical which will make it difficult to date.

Redirect your attention to someone who you know is into guys as much as you are otherwise you could ruin your friendship. There are many types of gay men out. There's even a gay clone of your friend somewhere out there. Go and find him.

 

[soulseeker]

Maho!!!! Worth a try !!!!!!!!!!!! ^ ^ Life is too short

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I just play along with him and pretend to be straight because I don't want to lose a friend like him.

A friend like what? You're not his friend. He's friends with the guy you're pretending to be.

I don't think his parents will be too happy to find out that their only son finally decided to go gay one day.

Decided? Eesh.

So what should I do?

Snap out of it.

If you want to keep him as a friend, stop pretending to be something you're not... but also it's best if you maybe make a few gay friends... meet some gay people... your latching on to the first guy who's nice to you is a mistake we've all made... once you get around more gay guys, you'll forget about him as anything but a friend.

That is... if you want to start treating him like a friend...

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

I don't know but I really hope that this could be the start of a great bromance between me and him.

Nothing brokeback sexual but maybe hanging out and going on bro-dates with him.

I'm sure many of you gay guys here have enjoyed bromance and going on bro-dates with your straight buddies.

Yeah, that's called "having friends."

 

[rareboy]

I don't know but I really hope that this could be the start of a great bromance between me and him.

Nothing brokeback sexual but maybe hanging out and going on bro-dates with him.

I'm sure many of you gay guys here have enjoyed bromance and going on bro-dates with your straight buddies.

Are you actually a homo?

I'm beginning to think we should call your card back in.

Trust me Mary. The bromance is going to be all one-sided. He's just hangin' out but you're fantasizing that he's going to be your fuck-puppet or husband.

As others have said, why don't you just look at it as being friends.

And i want you to understand one thing. If you end up doing all the work to set up the dates and if you are hanging around with him to the exclusion of having playdates with other friends, then you will fall into the trap of neurotic obsession.

You're already showing some signs of it. we'll see where this goes but I have the strangest feeling that something is wrong with your story here.

 

[soulseeker]

It's so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Just slowly work your way into his heart. Be there when his heart gets broken by one of da bitches and slowly swoop in and make da most passionate love Maho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

 

[2243]

Ok Thore, so you've been given some good advice here, probably everything you expected to hear. Advice a bit boring since I'm sure you knew your answer already, but still great advice. So all that in mind, but aside, let's be honest here... you want his cock. You're horny for him and it's clear. Sex with him would be awesome AND if a sweet romantic relationship should sprout then thats icing on the cake! Right? Ok so he's straight and that renders the off chance of you and him having sex unlikely as hell, but not totally impossible. Realistically, you can narrow this down to two choices.

You can risk it and tell him the truth about your feelings for him tomorrow. It may be hard to do and even stupid, but it is the quickest way to give it a shot. However, judging by you're descriptions of him, things will probably not go well.

You can try to plan it out (which is what I suspect is going on in your mind, maybe subconsciously or maybe not). Continue hiding your feelings for him and become his best buddy, Share a "bromance".. hell, share a girlfriend! Really sell the part if your going to bother playing it. After sometime, if you still haven't met a guy who will more likely want you back and if you still have the hots for your best friend, come out to him. Take in his reaction and decide wether to tell him or not about your having of these hots for him.

Whenever you finally feel close and comfortable enough to give it a shot, let's say you get lucky and do the "impossible", you seduce the straight guy ...*gasp*. Ok, so you conquered him and got some long awaited cock, but so what? #1 You can't really brag or just tell anyone about it. It has to be a secret if you want it to keep going and besides no one will believe you when you tell them. Unable to grasp it, they're heads nearly explode and if you try to prove it you become an asshole. #2 The guy is straight so just about any girl will replace you. Are you ok with that? Even if you somehow keep things going with him after he has a wife and kids, you'd be full of love for him, but to him you aren't more than a jackoff.

I'm not trying to persuade you into seeing things one way or the other. I mean if sex with him or just sex is the main goal for you then being his jackoff would be great. For most, including myself, sex is not the goal completely, but screw anyone who tries to look down on you for that. I'm just trying to think ahead with you and that's my point, coming from experience, really think ahead.