In love with my straight friend

[danny12321]

My best friend is def straight. All he does is talk about girls, has had a girlfriend, hand has been given head from several girls in his time. While I didn't think any attraction would come, it was inevitable when I saw him shirtless. He has a great body. I didn't find him attractive for the longest time, but can't help but always think of him. How do I get over him? I can't see anything happen. Yet, it makes me so sad to know that any random girl that is interested in him, will probably be able to suck him off, yet me being his best friend will not even have a chance.

 

[giorgiobaby]

That's why he's your FRIEND. He doesn't think of you this way. I would suggest you keep it to yourself around him. Sounds like a painful situation. Good luck

 

[MisterMajestic]

"How do I get over him? I can't see anything happen."


The best way to get over an attraction to a close-friend is to start dating and focus on building a relationship with a significant other...

Once you start seeing someone special your attraction to your Buddy will fade..The BEST Medicine is finding a new-Love interest...

 

[nautiboyjeff]

Tell him you are bi. If he is cool with that and you have a few libations, say - hey remember me telling you I was bi, any chance you would let a dude suck you?

Just an option.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Am I the only guy in here who doesn't want to have sex with all his friends?

Sheesh!
-d-

 

[voyager1994]

If you want to remain his friend and he's not just into you (or guys in general), then you can't cross the line. If you do, it will cause you emotional pain let alone damage your friendship. My advise, try not to see him or be physically around him all the time. Your feelings for him will not be as intense as when you're always seeing each other or hanging out together often.

 

[biguy732]

I don't know if it is in love or a giant crush on him. However, if he is totally straight trying to bring your relationship to the next level may not be your best choice - that could strain if not ruin your relationship. Proceed with caution.

 

[MisterMajestic]

"Am I the only guy in here who doesn't want to have sex with all his friends?"

of course not...But you know how those young GAY guys have those innocent crushes on their Buds..

Young straight guys want to fuck some of their close female friends...it is what it is...

I agree that you shouldnt cross that line. Why even bother hitting on one of your straight friends when there's no signs they have an interest in the same sex?

Time wasted...I have very attractive straight friends inside and out and I have that "Big brother" relationship with them so Fucking or sexual-attraction has no role...

 

[filipbong]

who isn't?
this must be one of the most, if not the most, painful of gay loves...unrequited love for a straight buddy.

 

[alonzo222]

we've all been there......it'll pass..............

 

[jo_addict]

Ive been there, its painful. Worse still my straight friend was such a tease, a real tease, like staring at me, as he deep throats a banana, getting undressed and walking into my room naked.....! I called his bluff and said I wanted to suck him off, one evening after a few drinks. He declined, said he was not gay.....but the teasing, messing around and friendship continued. I still have "only if I had...." moments!

 

[alonzo222]

Yup they always tease you so much!!!!! Mine actually said that he would "make my dreams come true" if he was a "little more drunk...."......and DAMN you should've seen us on the dance floor....HOTTTTTTT......WTF am i to think?!?!?!? but oh well, we both moved on and he's happy with his gf i'm assuming......

 

[tonynchi]

Hey Nightmedic I have a much younger friend that I have a somewhat similar realtionship with. I am 46 and he is 30 and totally straight. I am also very masculine and people are always surprised that I am into guys. When I was younger I probably would have misinterpreted my friends behavior but being older (and wiser) I think he simply feels very safe expressing affection toward me. His dad was some what cold and he doesn't have any brothers. His sister is a lesbian so he has no issues toward anyone (except women that won't give him the time of day lol). To put it simply, some guys like expressing affection toward their close friends, especially if they haven't received much from other males.

 

[xrph1670]

I'm willing to bet that almost every gay man has been in love with a friend at one time or another...so we all understand how much it hurts to know that any random girl can go where I could only dream of going. And I know how much more it would mean to me, and how much more I would care and work to make him happy.

All that said, I wouldn't make him happy. So you have to go on. My advice...give it up. It won't happen. And whatever you do, don't fantasize about it happening...that will only make it worse.

 

[slnattak]

When you get to be with him you might also be dissapointed as well. There's no guarantee that your fantasies or your perceptions of him would necessarily match the reality of how good a lover he is.

However there might be a way TO get with him- but could you just accept it what it is and not get too emotionally attached?

What are you doing also btw, to meet other real gay men. Anything? If you're not trying to go to a place or invite guys you know are gay or get to know them- this 'liking straight guys' thing will always continue.

You of course won't be compatible with most gay men out there, but you will be compatible with some if you just get out there and make yourself known. And even if you are compatible and both gay doesn't mean a relationship would work out anyway but the thing is you have to try. They are trying, just like you... so you have to make yourself known to gay places. If you are still struggling with self-hatred issues surrounding being gay- well a good way to get over that is to meet other gay men, don't you think? See how different and varied we all are- it's pretty amazing. Then the stereotype of a gay man clashing with you will subside- and you will both not idealize OR be too cynical about other gay men. You will realize that, just like your straight male crushes -- that gay men come in all shapes, sizes and temperaments.

You just need more real life experiences with gay men, my friend.

 

[drgr86]

I'm in love with my best friend and it hurts more than anything I ever could have possibly imagined. At first it was purely lust and physical attraction, but the better friends we became and the more we connected as friends I truly started to love him. Living with him for the past year has been complete torture, in fact I would rather have my fingernails pulled out than go through all that pain again. Every time he cracked a joke about sex, every night when he talks to his girlfriend it just reminds me of what I can never have and I feel part of me die every time. Even worse, our friendship has become strained lately for other reasons and it tears me up that I'm losing him as a friend too even though I love him so much.

If you truly love your friend and yourself...you need to keep away.

 

[monk66]

I'm in love with my best friend and it hurts more than anything I ever could have possibly imagined. At first it was purely lust and physical attraction, but the better friends we became and the more we connected as friends I truly started to love him. Living with him for the past year has been complete torture, in fact I would rather have my fingernails pulled out than go through all that pain again. Every time he cracked a joke about sex, every night when he talks to his girlfriend it just reminds me of what I can never have and I feel part of me die every time. Even worse, our friendship has become strained lately for other reasons and it tears me up that I'm losing him as a friend too even though I love him so much.

If you truly love your friend and yourself...you need to keep away.

This is the best response Ive ever read!!!! instead of telling u things like get him drunk so u can RAPE him or shit like that , this guy is giving u the best advice....GET OVER IT!!! hes str8 ok!!! go outside and start looking 4 someone , stop torturing yourself

 

[mike_n_herrin]

a lot of practical advise here. really most of it is true in that we've all been there. it just basically never turns out well if you try to act on your feelings for a str8 friend. i would recommend against it as well.

 

[inimegblue]

Oh the pain echoed by many! You must find someone that can reciprocate your feelings. Trust me it's hard in the gay community because guys tend to want non commital sex more often than not, but there are delightful exceptions to that rule..you just have to find them.

I'm actually in the process of distancing myself from a 'friend'. He never did anything wrong and he doesn't have a clue I'm bi, but it's just easier for me. He's just one of those loveable guys. He's VERY affectionate with everyone and he's so tolerant of everyone despite how different than him they are. I actually feel like if I told him I was bi he'd find a way to accept that and still be my friend. I've had a crush on this dude for the longest time, but opted to suffer in silence. He's happily married with a beautiful kid and shows no signs of thinking of a guy as more than a bud. I can't take the torture anymore...besides it's not fair to either of us.

Rambling aside......

Trust me it does get easier. If you value his friendship more than your attraction to him then concentrate on that. If the the two are even or you're more attracted to him as a potential lover than a friend then let it go.

 

[Desire]

thats the same with me too...and i cant help it
i hate it..and its best to keep my heart closed..and remain in line with friendship..so thats the end of my story lol