In need of some advice regarding boyfriends best friend.

[franklinP]

Obviously you are just jealous of him because of what your boyfriend admitted but that thing is already a past and your boyfriend chose you. What they had now I believe is totally a friendship type of thing and not the same thing that he has with you otherwise your relationship would not last for five years or so.

You cannot just take away your feelings of how you hate his bestfriend but you should try to be more civil towards him. If you are asked to come along with your boyfriend to hangout with his bestfriend just try to consider going.

 

[bankside]

I think back to a time when my basic human politeness was mistaken for romantic affection by someone, when I was already happily with the man in my life.

It took me a while to catch on to this guy's mistake, but I realised it, and being lousy at deception, and in a split second before I could compose myself, I know the look on my face and my bearing gave it away. Without any words I said "There is nothing for you here. Look into the depths of my being and where he sees light you will find nothing." And he knew that was it. I think the finality of it would have been unsettling.

The point is I have never had any ambiguity about the presence of my guy in my life. I didn't, but romance is a funny thing, and I accept that I could have. I accept that he could have. That in itself is not disturbing. Even now he doesn't owe me his affection, and if he turned to another he'd be welcome to go on his way. I suppose the same is true of me, even though I reject the idea.

But if I had struggled to understand or come to terms with the relationship with my guy, having once made up my mind, there is no way I could imagine disturbing him with any continuing association with someone else. I am a realist and a pragmatist and I don't believe in fairy tales. And he is my dream come true. If I had ever been confused about that for 10 minutes, I would now be embarrassed beyond words to even bring someone else around him for the hurt it might have caused, or even to spare him the effort of thinking it through.

I'm not saying a third-wheel friendship would be forbidden. Who knows, they might even get along together, and who am I to argue with a pleasant evening out to dinner? But at any time and at any moment, if my guy looked into my eyes he would see a light burning for him and know that anyone else would find nothing.

 

[bankside]

I looked at some old posts of yours - is this the same boyfriend you were with a few years ago that kept trying to you into a threesome?

If so, he really still doesn't understand what you want out of a relationship, which is pretty normal for people in a relationship: to just be central in each other's lives. To be the main event.

 

[jarib1]

Thanks everyone, you've all given me something to think about. The friend is single as far as I know. I will try to get to know this guy a bit more, see where his intention really lie. I am civil with him, I just prefer to avoid contact. I've been wary that he still has feeling for my boyfriend and either my boyfriend is oblivious to it or he likes the attention or something else. Oh and no this guy isn't related to the threesome discussion. I ended that thought. I'll try to get to know this friend better and I'll see what happens. Thanks everyone!

That's really great. I hope everything will be ok.