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in search of my first serious relationship

Syn

Syn

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So I've been out for well over a year now and I'm finally comfortable with finding a guy to be in a serious relationship with.
I have known this one guy for about two years. We went to college together. During that time I knew he was gay and had a boyfriend but he didn't really know that I was until the beginning of the summer. We are now living in the same city and communicate online every once in awhile. We used to go to grad school but things didn't work out with me there so I left. When we were in school together I thought things would be uncomfortable if I were to ask him out. I learned when we started grad school that he had broken up with his boyfriend and I had though, ah, here is my chance. But at that time I didn't want things to feel awkward if it didn't work out. Now that I'm not in school anymore I wonder if I should just bite the bullet and ask him out. I've had a crush on him for about 8 months. I just don't know what to do. He is really funny, and really cute but I don't want to feel like a total dweeb. Please help!
 
well i took the first hurdle and told him i had (still have) a crush on him and he had no idea, i guess i should have done it the other way around, asked him out and then told him about the crush.
 
He said he had no idea that I did and then changed the subject.
 
Hmmmm.......this is tricky. I guess I'd start out with the "let's go to lunch (or coffee)" line that I've stolen from others and has worked very well for me. And then see what happens. It's not a date. It's a feel-each-other-out (not literally) sort of thing.

I might have thought that if he liked you and was at least a little interested in you that he would show some interest right then and there. That's what makes this situation a little tricky. But don't give up hope yet.
 
well he's been asking me a lot of personal things lately like when I first did something with a guy, and asked me about the guy i've gone out to dinner with recently, so I don't know if he's nervous like i am. i'd like to get to know him better as well. We didn't really talk when I had this crush on him and he had a boyfriend.
 
I'd ask him if he wanted to grab lunch or something. It sounds like there's some mutual interest.
 
Yeah, keep the dialogue going. Ask him out for lunch or even a run in the park!

Take this as an opportunity to really get to know him because you are in search of a serious relationship and NOT some fuck buddy! It will be worth the while.....

All the best. :D
 
I agree. Just take it slow and do friend stuff first. This will give you time to get to know him better and see if there are any vibes between you two.

Good Luck!
 
Take it steady, nurture the friendship, let it grow gently and, hopefully, in time it will blossom. Find out about each other, show an interest in his thoughts, feelings and experiences. Above all be plainly honest with him when he asks you things. This doesn't mean you have to tell him you fancy him because, in truth, you will not know that you really do until you get to know him better.

Take it steady, let it evolve. (*8*)
 
Don't rush anything. Sounds like things are going well ... good for you!

I am a big fan of "let nature take its course" ... if you deliberately mess with that flow to make things go your way, you will be sure to deal with some backfire later.

Here's to more happiness buddy! (UU)
 
Thanks guys for all your help and advice. I'm going with the "let nature take its course" But I'm chatting with him here and there and eventually something will surface. I hope so at least.
 
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