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Incapable of making friends

MoltenRock III said:
So why don't you? Not to be rude, but why should your "counsellor" push you to do anything? That's not his fault, it's yours! So you hate people, but want to be loved by said people you hate. See the conflict there my friend? The biggest turn-off in anyone is being a sourpuss. Why do you hate everyone? Because you hate them before they get a chance to hate you?
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That was rude, and you're assuming a lot of things about me that are not true.
 
Actually MoltenRock might be onto something me12121. Think about it...it's the logical progression of such feelings. From what you've described, it becomes obvious you don't hold a very high opinion of yourself, quite the opposite.
I don't really think you hate everyone but you sure don't like yourself that much. That's why you shut everyone out...because you may believe that they won't like what they see, if they get the chance to see the real you. This whole process may, eventually, lead to one hating others because it's easier to shut people out when you tell yourself you hate them...again, eventually, this may lead to one actually believing in the hatred/dislike of others.

It all begins and ends in you and you alone! Usually people's responses depend on the way you carry and view yourself. You need to work on your self-image appreciation.
 
Fucker29 said:
Actually MoltenRock might be onto something me12121. Think about it...it's the logical progression of such feelings. From you've described, it becomes obvious you don't hold a very high opinion of yourself, quite the opposite.
I don't really think you hate everyone but you sure don't like yourself that much. That's why you shut everyone out...because you may believe that they won't like what they see, if they have the chance to see the real you. This whole process may, eventually, lead to one hating others because it's easier to shut people out when you tell yourself you hate them...again, eventually, this may lead to one actually believing in the hatred/dislike of others.

It all begins and ends in you and you alone! Usually people's response depends on the way you carry and view yourself. You need to work on your self-image appreciation.
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Thank you. More elegantly than I put it, put of similar vein. It's really hard to like someone that doesn't like themselves.
 
Anyways, I would just say you're one of those types of introverted people like I am that needs a lot of space from other people. You need more 'special people' you really relate to. That has it's own ups and downs. When those people leave you, what do you do? Sometimes it's actually healthier to have shallower relationships with a lot of people. You want something deep, rare and meaningful so you purposefully exclude yourself... but a lot of people are trying to love u the best way they can.
 
I agree with those arguing for self confidence. You get that by loving yourself. You get that by living life the way you want to, and not holding back.

A confident person is a happy person is a fun person to be around.

A self loathing person only thinks of himself and his reaction to the world, and is supremely boring/dreadful to be around.
 
^Yes!

Everyone has some insecurities. You can't let them take over your life.
 
I completely agree with you guys that my lack of self-confidence is causing my problems, but you guys talk like I can just flip a switch to get self-confidence. I'm not really sure how to develop self-confidence after having none for 10+ years.

slnattak said:
Anyways, I would just say you're one of those types of introverted people like I am that needs a lot of space from other people. You need more 'special people' you really relate to. That has it's own ups and downs. When those people leave you, what do you do? Sometimes it's actually healthier to have shallower relationships with a lot of people. You want something deep, rare and meaningful so you purposefully exclude yourself... but a lot of people are trying to love u the best way they can.
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That describes me perfectly. I don't really care to have tons of shallower relationships and would rather have 3 or 4 close ones instead, and that's probably why I often exclude myself.
 
me12121 said:
I completely agree with you guys that my lack of self-confidence is causing my problems, but you guys talk like I can just flip a switch to get self-confidence. I'm not really sure how to develop self-confidence after having none for 10+ years.
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No one's saying it's easy. It's a process and it takes time.
 
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