Iniquity - Archived Blog Posts

[Iniquity]

Try…and I keep tryin’ and keep tryin’, but whomever forced me into believing that this process was easy was lyin’, defyin’ the reality that my brain always tries to live in. For, I see, and want you to see that when the hood comes off, the masquerade down, the façade eliminated, then we can see the dreams that we have actually precipitated. My eyes dilate at the thought of getting back our souls that were bought for infamous videos and street corners that were advertised as desire, but now entrap those too foolish to see the ring of fire. My ire leaves me set in stone, not able to call my own home HOME simply because I believe it is an empire. So, I escape into the arms of someone who will take me in, who is not necessarily the color of my skin, only because I actually had the preconceived notion that this situation may have actually been better. Only to return to the tattered ruins of the block where I rode bikes, never had to fight, let my wonderful dad and ever-hard-working mom carry my plight for me. So I invented a story, it was my own morning glory with truth as its seal, but no one will ever get past the shield.

Because I’m sitting here, feeling like never before, but not like the arms of that person that other people have the audacity to consider a whore for simply taking the time, willfully, to explore, and eventually find out that that is not the place she should be leaving her lore. What’s in store for me now that I have no shoulder to lean on? Dreams gone, mean song, no funny business, no damsel or mistress, no person that I keep running and running and running to time and time again, just to escape the inevitable truth of eventually, the real you will appear like, “POOF!” in both senses of the term, and finally a school will get proof that someone can live a different lifestyle. Oh, but since my words are only of a small child, rampaging and defaming like he’s wild, no one will ever understand this metaphysical. My force that was centrifugal is gone with no replacement. And I can’t face it, so

I’m going bananas, letting my soul be devoured by inspiration-hungry piranhas.
And until the feeling returns, I have to let everything I do be burned and sit here, abyss-driven, waiting for that person that I have finally admitted to myself that I yearn…for…

 

[Iniquity]

There’s an undying illness over my head, which was probably the interpretation given to me when I tried to find forgiveness. I was trying to find a witness so that when I’d be gone, they’d begin this journey right, so our brothers and sisters won’t ever have to fight as hard to win this. But I’ve taken too many steps in reverse. I’ve taken too many steps with a curse, making situations better, but other ones worse. I lost not one, not two, but indefinite, and I credit it with my mark of approval, I authorize this removal of my cold, hard, non-tasty noodle so someone can enter the abyss, find exactly the mistake I missed, then take my place with a cold, hard fist that will say that I won’t stand for this. My presence alone will permeate the grains of sand that delicately is hindering my steps, preventing from protecting, naturally selecting the biggest loser to win first, the most diabolical seducer to deliver another verse, to entrap their minds in this same curse.

There’s a mystery I’ve been trying to solve. Going back to 1996 and learning to evolve, to get new abilities, to try and dissolve their oppressive reign and re-establish my divinity. And it’s killing me. I just want to be okay, but my flight and heart are stuck on an endless ground delay while ingesting the place I call home gives me moral decay. And all of these services are pre-paid for. So, I must endure them. Every time someone asks me to help them, I have no choice but to pursue them. To send my heart on a while goose chase, ducking guardrails and finding a better place, losing my breath before the end of the final race, and finding a way to express myself in good taste. I didn’t want to say no, didn’t want them to go to some idiot, charging 65 dollars just to take your issue to his affiliates, lay it on the table, formulate a solution looking from the opposite perspective, because the only good detective remaining is you. And me. But humility forces me to crawl back into my shell, give the aura off that, everything is well, and forever live in this amniotic hell. This situation requires speaking on. Though I’ve tried keeping on point, or reaping what they sow from disjointed hands, my failure is apparent. When a parent has to decide on keeping their child in their home before they’re ready just for a life choice they have to do to keep their mind steady, the palms of God perhaps get a bit sweaty before that child has to relegate their heavy contribution to the world to a support group. And it’s funny, because so many go through this distortion, that it’s become even more common than inner-city abortion.

I’ve blown my distress out of proportion so someone else could adore, could care, could spend so many hours in stale air circulating the area around me, typing up solution after suggestion, wise words after three-hour lessons. This enemy doesn’t realize of the force that he’s messing with. So he keeps me guessing. He keeps me from undressing with the one unrelenting, who will change my life path through dissenting, preventing me from picking up the phone for fear that his call will invade my home. So I must traverse while keeping this illness over my head, alone.

 

[Iniquity]

My fate. My fate will depend
on this next message I send
bringing us closer to the end of professional relationship.

These demons make hate us with our fears
and they think they can take us when it’s all clear
Because to our voices, hearts, and minds, we adhere

Dearly beloved, I have finally made it to the summit
My voice is echoed so those with goals can hum it
And I have asserted that no one can take us from it

In that case, why do you cry? Why do you balk at the thought of saying goodbye?
Why do these inferences make our friendship sessions go awry?
You don’t need to fight me, I’ve been forever by your side.

Don’t make me the king of sorrow
Just because I’ve borrowed my experiences from great leaders
Doesn’t mean my heart is hollow.

I just follow my gut to get me out of the rut
And with four months left, I think we’re stuck.
Because, out of this body, out of this soul, great things are bound to erupt.
So, I’m sorry if this is all a bit abrupt.

Signed,
Forgiveness

 

[Iniquity]

And, here he is. Sitting in uncomfortable silence
The sirens blaring back and forth do nothing to quell the unending violence
Yet, among the tyranny, self-hatred and bigotry, he finds vibrancy.

His eyes kept swirling around, to the back of his neck.
Always in protection mode, as they know what’s coming next.
Another award show that demonstrates that whomever’s in charge has vexed,

Has paralyzed the listening public to the point where we no longer reach for the skies.

But, rather, into her eyes, screaming how could she make the same mistake again, and yet had not realized
That, miles away, someone is wishing to be her
Do the right thing so her two unborn can feed her
Knowledge, self, truth. Lifting this supposed weed curse
So her guiding spirit leads her to be first.

Even though she betrayed him, he wishes for her success.
Cause they’re both livid at the TV, as who won wasn’t best
It’s all going the way of the destiny manifest.
But, this is not his issue.

His disturbance lies in the blood-stained tissues that speak the ill words
“I really do miss you.”
And, if ever more his past life once again becomes an issue,
He can dig deeper. Use his cane or reacher. Once again become the teacher
To show he’s in control. On top of his soul although his dreams are stole.
Remaining the sole, he looks to the sky.
Learning that heaven’s still there for him to fly

To.

 

[Iniquity]

No one told me this road would be level one
That our memories spent together would all be under the sun
That the roulette we spun, empty it would always come.
So, I have to get back to you before it all becomes none.
Before I decide to be a nun, change my value
Submit myself, just like before, even though I never had to
And if I’m complicated, sorry, I give really bad clues as to
How I’m feeling. Reeling in my biggest catch of the day

It speaks volumes that keep stealing my tireless ways
Then, I come to you for healing, only to find you’ve gone astray
And now that my status is “Dream Deferred,” how can I be of use to you now?
Can I go back, oblivious, no questions, complete disavow?

I believe that’s called a second chance. Not too many
of those are thrown into our hands. So, as I take a glance
At this water, which is supposed to soothe me.
Since I [expletive] you miles away, I find it hard to enhance myself.

Faltering at advancing elsewhere, and catching glowing eyes
At first glance. They say heart demolishing is all around, so just dance.
Nah, because then I’d be conforming again. I never wanted it, but my duty
is to break the norm, inform of my experiences, and hibernate

Until I transform. But this tingly sensation is the only weight
That brought me out and is desecrating all aspects of me.
So, I’ll keep searching. Until I find a cure for this manipulative thing.
I’ll find me reform someday.

 

[Iniquity]

Good evening. This is Mr. Messed Up calling at the entrance of your building. I’d like to speak to fed up or disgruntled, or the socially inept and humble, please? Yes. I’ll hold.

While the elevator music drifts and my arteries split apart in rifts, I continue to hold this gift.
It is unspeakable and intangible, it is hidden in your palm and under your mandible, it is that handy.
It torments the intellectual with an addiction of one day, candy, and the next
The feeble need to see the dream burst in a frenzy given by that virus-laden needle that brings everyone to equal status.
Equally dying to no one, testifying “HELP ME! Can’t you comprehend my physical manifestation of emotion called crying?”
No. Because I am as messed up as you. I may be the Dr. Phil of love as called by a few, but I still suffer from this indoctrinated state imbued which caused you to turn to this satisfaction in the first place.
It’s quite unfortunate that your unwillingness to say no caused a chain reaction, breaking down the doors of the erroneous faction
And the camera’s still moving in action, so never stop discovering, my astronaut.
It’s not your fault, and never has been.
So, why did you make it yours? I told you to come find me before it was too late.
But you made me trek up an electrified gate, jump over a tight space, and slap some sense into your handsome face.
Don’t continue punching and kicking me, I care for your life! Can’t you see my motive though the light is flickering? For all you bicker, you still haven’t realized I’ve saved you.
So, I’ll call or return later, when I’m sure you’ve returned to your proper state of grace.

If only I had a method of returning.

Signed,
Iniquity.

 

[Iniquity]

I am speechless, my mind is vacant.
My head's been submerged in earth that is sacred.
But of this impossibility should bring a good thing.
And from this socialized cage, I want to spring.

I had this theory that I wouldn't apply
To the rumor mill that gets the underaged high
That fills their jones at night when from their bones they cry.
To invent a story that I dare to deny.

I can say, why? I've genuinely cared
For every contingency, my body has prepared.
And all of a sudden this epidemica scare
Wipes out my defenses, shit, this isn't fair!

I'm now aware that maturity is out of the question.
And in a boring town, they need something to keep guessing
But, come on! This is his sanity at stake!
He's tried to coexist, and yet you still forsake.

And now this disease makes its way to me
I'm burning ot the brim, at the highest degree.
I formulated a plan to minimize the attention.
And de lay, for the longest, a want for my apprehension.

But now there's a warrant out for my arrest.
Fleeing is no option, I'm just another social test.
So I must allow these chains to interlock my skin.
Waiting for the rise of freedom to begin.

 

[Iniquity]

"Walking, trotting. Slowly departing.
Talking cold steps of the disheartening.
A force that's stopping, the children keep knocking.
As my farewell should have been that shocking.

I'm flocking to the open spaces
Fragmented bodies with familiar faces.
Reconnect the pieces, and oh, the places
We'll go. Trace me back to my show.

Of the memories you started during times that we grow.
Forcing personas that remain blatantly faux.
It's not easy to accept my rebirth
As you cannot show to me you've proven your worth

Was more than the $300 worth of dope
Was easier than on the bed of nails you stroked
I haven't rescinded my thought that there's hope
But I shroud myself away, back to this earthly cloak."

She spoke. Moved her lips for the ages
Took leaps and bounds, echoed many pages.
Saw that everyone was divinely favored.
And appreciated the fruits of her labor.

With that off her chest, she's able to advance.
Endure the battered remains, take a second chance
Pick up the pace as she shall, PROCEED.
And glide along, by faith, indeed.

 

[Iniquity]

So I've bestowed on the seeds that I've sewn
The ability to translate the truth to unknown
It sounds better with the details flown
And the facts out of proportion blown

Who decides to show the backbone?
Come to seek me out while I hide here alone?
Help me restore my degree of power
Stand firm, deliver against the crackheads who tower
us?

None. Instead they run behind.
Receive erroneous accusations that cross the line
I never thought your brilliance could be so blind.
But I hope you don't stumble, 'cause it's freedom time.

You'll see. I didn't attack or come at your before.
You'll know when my freedom fighters knock on your door.
You'll want to have regretted destroying my name.
So retreat now because you have LOST THE GAME.

 

[Iniquity]

If there’s a reason you won’t return my goddamn phone calls,
Please alert my still disfigured membrane know now.
So, I won’t have to devise a plan or make a vow
To submerge your face in sand or force you to take a bow

While not letting your enlarged gluteus hit my doorknob on the path out.
I’ve done the math thirteen times. Counted of 1,000 hours, over ten times as many lines
I’ve been Angelo, Maxime, Othello, and still I remain blind to what you mean.
Nothing “seems” anymore. It just freakin’ is.

So, I’ve tried to keep busy, handle and run a “biz.”
Discern the concrete reality from all of this empty fizz.
And it’s oblivious that I need aid.
I’ve come to a quick realization from a simple form of disrespect.

I mean, how dare you expect me to refer to you other than douchebag
If douchebaggery is all you choose to fill my plate?
I can relate, as back home, they greet you as a “nigga,” if that’s all you choose to show.

And, since it must go on, if you desire change, please procure it
Demonstrate to me you can be just, reside just on the cusp of greatness!
Or remain fake. I guess I have to still ponder you
Since my party is late or isn’t answering.

Be off. I refuse to associate with your atrocious influence.
Let your daggering effects be dissolved in my tears.
And let my sword pierce your weakness through my fears.
Because I have nothing better to do while I sit here

Waiting for this damn phone to ring once and for all.

 

[Iniquity]

[Disclaimer: I couldn't think of a good title for this one.]

I learned to cherish when I learned to survive
Upon your gratitude my whole being thrived
I coasted through my days just to see your smile
Now you’re gone, and not just for a while.

No one will ever emulate your style
So the only memories of you have been filed
I feel my heart being stuck in denial.
And I want to decompose into a small child

So these people on the train won’t ask my tears
How they preserve and contain many years
Of heartfelt conversations, realization of fears
The invulnerability as I held your body near.

I grow further weary into the abyss
The pressure of your goodbye will burst this cyst
Growing in my head from the words that you said.
And the tone of your voice will always be missed

I must walk listlessly from your door.
Gradually losing value, eventually turning poor.
Was the expectation that I can go on now?
Independent, ripped from our solemn vow?

If so, wow, I mean that’s unexpected.
You were the half of my soul to keep me protected
The one that kept me guided in a schedule full of hectic
Demands placed on me. You took the darkness from me

When the others shunned me, you were there to stun me
So all of the hatred could be eviscerated from me.
And now I am free, unwillingly.
‘Cause each word that I write is softly killing me

I have no one whose words are filling me
Although your manifesting love is still in me.
They say, they always had commentary on us.
We were too good to be true, too good to trust.

But respect was a must when they turned me to dust.
And you rescued me before I was to combust.
For that I am robust, but for you, I am feeble.
I bow at your presence, though I’m considered an equal.

But here I am, sitting in silence
Sirens blaring in unending violence
Among this hellhole, you were my vibrance.
But the feeling dissipates.

You helped me to know both sides of the game
Answered my call when I uttered your name.
Saved me from behind a closeted door of shame.
But no longer can I felicitate.

I can’t force myself to move, only to sit here and cry.
As I play, and play again, your longest goodbye.

 

[Iniquity]

Hi, monkey. Something is breeding
I’m bleeding words as I’m feeling lost
At the most immense cost without your protective
Glance, as you took a chance to elevate your wings.

You sure do know the light your company brings
And the limit of things not important around us
Just elevates my feeling of trust around you
You’re dear to the heart I’ve again found

But slowly my ground is evaporating
Dissipating from your non-existent presence
As so often said, your essence completes me
And defeats my fears, turning them into gifts.

But the burning left by your journey
Is set to burst in the form of a cyst
In other words, I greatly miss you
And proclaim I don’t exist without you

I can retreat and find another to cheat
And otherwise die by deflating our beat
But, it’s OUR BEAT. Made by controversy
The new world water we drink when thirsty

As they outcasted us so solemnly easy
It was feasible when your touch was adjacent
To settle me down when I became complacent
I feed off of your cheesy affirmative statements

They serve to advance my abatement
Of a world so dangerously hypocritical
Who would give anything to accelerate my funeral
And without you to sustain:

Complications enter my brain
You make me feel handsome when otherwise ashamed
And glaciers reform when you call my name.
So, is it unreasonable to want to travel to Spain

Snatch you back up from the corporate game
Until into my arms you fall again?
So I don’t spend days waiting for your call again?
Back when doesn’t exist anymore.

It’s just the metaphysical at my door.
And I’m confessing, I can’t take it anymore.
The window forever holds my stare.
Until I turn around and I see you there.

 

[Iniquity]

In their moment, nothing really mattered
Love came on in just dreams
All they were blessed to given,
They had to dig deep to find what it means.

Nothing would eradicate their past
Like the trials to come
Celebrating their success at last
Meant that their work was done.

And while the world chooses to stare
And comment so uninformed
They're applauded for the efforts they dared
Togetherness is unceasingly warm

They didn't turn the bond away
Just to keep their appearance
Although at first both were afraid
Of dying from interference

An endless circle formed by their dance
Could be the reason why they sing
And they deserve forever to be in a trance
Otherwise known as their beautiful thing.

 

[Iniquity]

The elephant in the room is about to be shot
Time will tell all when I yell stop.
All your fears are about to “get got”
So strip them off, leave them in the parking lot.

I’m done being a robot to your social scheme.
Making me think I don’t matter like a dancing queen.
You show your desire to be as brave
As me who winds down in a conscious rave.

You must pay for your inept behavior.
Teens all over the world suffer from your danger
We are major and we’re gaining rights.
Don’t need pipes, just the will to fight.

Night has dawned, there’s nowhere to turn.
For your oppression, oh shall you burn.
The cult behind me will not further discern.
This lesson taught to us that you need to learn.

Forget what they planted in your feeble brain
A new day opens up with falling conscious rain
You’ve trained officials to command with pain,
But look around, bitch! We’re on to your game.

Hands held high, the darkness will cease
Hatred across the sky no longer released
I see your feet shaking, you’re no longer steady.
It’s a new world order, are you ready?

The elephant in the room is about to die.
50 million people no longer asking why.
Parents and friends, best friends of people
Call forth your divinity so we can live equal.

I see it forming. The new chain of life.
Down with destruction, end moral strife!
Gather all the hearts that have been broken
Take them to the light so they can open

And no longer be frozen. It’s a world full of love.
The one desired by those up above.

I wake up. It isn’t real.
Just a dream of a place where I can finally heal.