The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Insecure about looks? Asian?

JohnnyFlip said:
Isn't it odd that this couple would greet every person who comes to their stand but not the one guy who obviously comes off as gay and asian?
Click to expand...

Well, let's see... a gay couple is approached by a friendly young single gay guy. What could cause tension here? :)
 
Hi there! Fellow Asian gay dude here. What I have to say about the subject may be a little dark, but I don't see the point in sugarcoating my own experience.

I don't have empirical data, but I certainly get the impression that Asian men are generally less desired. At least in my region (granted, someplace completely different - Amsterdam), you will find three groups of people singled out in a negative way on gay dating profiles more than any others: "No oldies, fatties, and Asians please."

And the men that *are* attracted to us sometimes see and treat us in fetishizing, creepy, degrading ways. They are not all like that, of course, but there are plenty of them. They see us as cheap, easy, submissive, exchangable. Be wary of anybody who gives off creepy vibes, and doesn't treat you 100% as his equal.

Take this from me: You're beautiful. Don't let anybody make you feel differently.

But I think you will face your fair share of prejudice because of your ethnicity. My advice is to grow a thick skin and be proud. Don't forgive racist bullshit; you don't owe anything to anybody. Don't kiss/fuck/date anybody you're not really attracted to. Don't go for the creepy types, who will try to take advantage of your insecurities. You might have to look longer and harder than a white guy with otherwise similar attributes. The world is not a fair place; there's little we can change about that. Face it, stand up to it, don't get bitter, don't degrade yourself, be proud. Work hard to build yourself a happy life, work hard to become the person you want to be. That person will attract guys worthy of your affection. Good luck!
 
My guess is that any "stern" looks were caused by insecurity and envy because you are so hot. Just be yourself and things will be fine.
 
Telstra said:
You look like that guy in Star Trek with pointy ears ... Spoke ?
Click to expand...
star%20trek%20leonard%20nimoy%20may%202013.jpg
 
Hey, Johnny! :wave:

First of all ... WELCOME to JUB! :hurray:

I'm hoping you'll be as Happy that you found "Us" as we are that You did! \:/

Second ... YOU are Exceedingly Adorable! And, I don't say that lightly! [-X

Third ... My partner (Kevin) and I have been together for 31yr. He's 7yr younger than me. He's also 4 of 8 from an Irish Catholic family. One of his younger sisters (Kristie), 7 of 8, is married to a first generation Japanese-American (Kenta). Kenta, and his parents (Toshi and Yoko), are some of the neatest, coolest, most fascinating, and amazing, people I've Ever met! ..|

Kevin's Dad (Ralph) was a fighter pilot, in the Pacific theater, during WWII. Toshi was much younger, but still on the wrong side. At Kristie and Kenta's wedding, it was Awesome to see Ralph and Toshi chatting away like two Good Ol' Friends! :cool:

Kenta has remarked how surprised he's been at being accepted, and absorbed, into The Family so readily because he's Japanese. And, he's saying this to Me, Kev's GAY Partner! :rotflmao:

Relating to my second point, Kristie and Kenta are the parents of two of our youngest nephews. Since I'm fortunate to be their "Uncle Chaz", of Course I'm going to say they're Adorable (which they are)! Don't tell anyone I said this, but YOU are even Cuter, more Handsome, than they are! :-$

Forth ... With your current hair cut, You definitely have a "Vulcan" look going on, which suits your other features Very well! I also happen to be a HUGE Star Trek fan! :lol:

Fifth ... Though I've never been there, I understand Utah to be a very Conservative/Mormon state. Though this might be completely "off base", it's still possible that a small part of the general reception that you perceive is an undercurrent from WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, etc., even from those of your generation, possibly "handed down" from their parents' experiences. Of course, none of that has anything to do with You, but ... still ... :(

I'm hoping that's not the case, but it's something to think about ... maybe. ](*,)

May I ask what your Specific ethnicity is other than simply "Asian"? :confused:

Sixth ... If I were Your age, which I once was, Long ago, and I happened to meet You, given your "exotic" Good looks, and judging your personality from what you've told "Us", You would definitely have a difficult time getting me to stop chasing You! :badgrin:

I'm hoping that doesn't sound Too creepy! :-<

Finally ... YOU are one "Hawt", Sexy, Very Desirable Dude! And, I'm wishing You ALL the Very Best! (group)

Always remember ... No Matter What ... and I'm quite Serious about this ... BE Your OWN Guy! ... and ...

Keep Smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz :luv:
 
See? "Asian" is just TOO General! :lol:

Just know that as far as your looks go, You are Mighty Fine! ..|

Keep Smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz :luv:
 
This post might come across as offensive but I don't mean it to - I'm basically trying to say that things work the opposite way around sometimes despite how they appear:-

I personally am not attracted to Asian guys in 99% of cases (but I'm also a white guy not overly attracted to other white guys, at least not the white gay guys I always seem to meet in my social circles - twinks, basically, do not really do it for me - so I'm not necessarily a representative sample) but I have met many guys who either:

a) like Asian guys
b) like Asian guys a whole LOT MORE than guys of other backgrounds
c) only like Asian guys

So don't think there's a blanket hierarchy of attractiveness - either generally or in regards to race specifically - because everybody is different. The guys that aren't attracted to Asian guys are not worth your time, effort or sad feelings - keep your chin up, and keep moving on and I guarantee there is nothing stopping you, either as an Asian guy or you personally, from dating. You look completely fine! Not my type, but not undateable at all. I can imagine some guys totally loving you and thinking you're the cutest, hottest thing they've seen for a long while.

TL;DR version: you look OK, there are some men who will find you more attractive and some that find you less so - it's not necessarily a race thing, or a general thing, attraction is something personal and subjective - you just have to keep fishing. Nothing about you seems to make you undateable :)
 
So here's my two cents.

I am Asian living in a western country and I faced the same problem as you. I guess the issues stem from most of the white guys you met did not find you attractive, judging from the posts you posted. The solution is simple, open your heart and be more accepting of who you are and move on. I, too, struggled when I first moved to Australia, I was constantly rejected when I am talking to gay guys, some even responded that I have an ugly face and I deserved to die. I went through a period of self hating. Then, I realized no matter where I go, there will still be people dislike my features, be it white, black, hispanic or asian. It isn't my problem, the problem lies on them and they will never get to know how awesome I am.

Just try not to hang up on 'I want to date white guys', give others some chance. :)
 
idk about them being the bottom rung - but i come from an area with a lot of asians, so it may make it less prominent. ive had a crush on an asian guy. i think a toned to muscular asian guy can look quite hot (dont read to much into the muscular bit - personally im rarely into skinny guys to begin with, so the same goes for asians who happen to be skinny).
i know that asians are typically desired as bottoms, so ive heard at least. but thats only a problem if you are a strict top.
 
glasvegas said:
I, too, struggled when I first moved to Australia, I was constantly rejected when I am talking to gay guys, some even responded that I have an ugly face and I deserved to die. Then, I realized no matter where I go, there will still be people dislike my features, be it white, black, hispanic or asian. It isn't my problem, the problem lies on them and they will never get to know how awesome I am.
Click to expand...

Vince! :wave:

I am Seriously AGHAST!! :eek: :help:

Of all the Aussie Guys I've had the privilege to get to know, Really Well, NONE of Them were anywhere near as Narrow Minded/STUPID as the ones you've (unfortunately) run into! [-X

YOU, Dude, are not only CUTE as All Hell, You're also Incredibly Overall GORGEOUS, from soles to crown!! :drool: (!w!)

As you've pointed out, it's THEIR Loss, and may a Great White find Them looking Delicious not too far off the beach! :-< ..|

(And, may Taz not be around to try to save Them! [-X :lol: )

In all cases ... No Matter What ...

Keep Smilin' (With those Incredible DIMPLES of Yours)!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz :luv2:
 
There's a lot of different types of guys out there and plenty of people have different preferences. I can promise you there's a lot of guys who would like you and who like asians. If you don't think people are responding to you and you feel as though it's your appearance, try changing it up. Try a new hairstyle, get some new clothes. This can give you more confidence and other people will sense that and be attracted to it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top