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Into younger guys - want some advice

E

element2014

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U.S. -- Midwest
I'm only into guys about 5-10 years younger than me (so 18-23) and I prefer twinks, jocks, and I'm also turned on by slim/artist types including emo and alternative guys.

I get some play fairly often, but I strike out more than 50% of the time. I also haven't really had success with getting a friend or fwb for regular fun... its just been hookups.

So I'm just looking for advice. Sometimes I head out to the bars, I have a couple people at work who are gay and connect me with friends/the social scene, and I'm not above going on A4A or Craigslist.

What can I do to give myself a better chance of hooking up, making friends, or finding an FWB? I work out (check.) I dress preppy and care about how I look (check.) I'm a college grad and have a personality (check.) I'll play from mild to wild, basically whatever my guy wants to do (check.)

I'm not that good at expressing myself online or in an email, chat, or CL ad. I mean, I don't know what I could say that would get my best attributes across.

So if you're 18-23ish what turns you on? What makes you give one older guy a chance when you wouldn't give that same chance to somebody else?
 
element2014 said:
What can I do to give myself a better chance of hooking up, making friends, or finding an FWB? I work out (check.) I dress preppy and care about how I look (check.) I'm a college grad and have a personality (check.) I'll play from mild to wild, basically whatever my guy wants to do (check.)
Click to expand...
Wow...MARRIED ME! :lol:
 
Well, your biggest issue that I can see is that you think in stereotypes. I counted seven in your OP. People rarely fall into a neat box, and the ones that do are boring as hell and not worth the effort. Including people who stereotype a lot. Everyone has some unique stuff going for them. You can have your preferences, but if you're only about those, you miss incredible people because they were a pound heavier, or a few years older, or who knows why.

So I'd suggest to clean up your mind a bit of labels and stereotypes, and instead of a "jock", maybe next time you'll see a good looking fit guy instead. And then the next good looking fit guy might be completely different from what you consider a "jock", yet still have things you find attractive.

Because right now you sound like someone I'd ignore after the third line, regardless of how much "personality" you think you have ;)
 
^ I'm agreeing with Rolyo85 here.

If you don't mind me asking, element, how much older are you in comparison to your... target demographic? As we all get older, we tend to identify and socialize less with continually younger aged men. Generational differences of company and companionship are natural human behaviors. Accept that you're aging with your own peers. Assigning an age number to what constitutes friendship, sex, or a relationship is not a healthy expression of self-fulfillment.
 
Pretty much everything you've said in your opening post would turn me off. Not the working out/looking after yourself part, but the "i'm looking for a fuck buddy" part.

Why not actually get to know someone, form a friendship without sex and complications and bring that in later? Surely it would last a lot longer and be more fulfilling in the long run.
 
You might strike out a lot of times because those young guys want other young guys. You're not stating your age or appearance either. As you get older you will find if your attraction to 18-23 continues, you need money or the small segment with daddy complex
 
Plus the 18-23 set isn't all the interested in "commitments," however casual anyway.
 
Just_Believe18 said:
As we all get older, we tend to identify and socialize less with continually younger aged men. Generational differences of company and companionship are natural human behaviors. Accept that you're aging with your own peers. Assigning an age number to what constitutes friendship, sex, or a relationship is not a healthy expression of self-fulfillment.
Click to expand...

I'm 5-10 years older than the guys I'm interested in, and I've always hit it off well with people of all ages.
People I consider friends are anywhere from 10 to 75 years old.
Sexually I'm only into younger. It's just been kind of a dry spell on and off, but I think more than anything else its the area that I live in, that's the problem. So the only scene is closeted big time and basically just online. Guys are really afraid to come out and start a relationship, a friendship, or even get into an FWB situation.

I don't agree with you... people who don't have friends from every generation and who don't socialize outside their peer groups are the ones in the box. Nothing as boring as a bunch of 30-40 year olds who have no life and no real connection with anyone outside of other people the same age. I would not want to spend my life with the same people that I went to high school with. I can't think of a worse fate in the world.
 
Rolyo85 said:
Well, your biggest issue that I can see is that you think in stereotypes. I counted seven in your OP. People rarely fall into a neat box, and the ones that do are boring as hell and not worth the effort. Including people who stereotype a lot. Everyone has some unique stuff going for them. You can have your preferences, but if you're only about those, you miss incredible people because they were a pound heavier, or a few years older, or who knows why.

So I'd suggest to clean up your mind a bit of labels and stereotypes, and instead of a "jock", maybe next time you'll see a good looking fit guy instead. And then the next good looking fit guy might be completely different from what you consider a "jock", yet still have things you find attractive.

Because right now you sound like someone I'd ignore after the third line, regardless of how much "personality" you think you have ;)
Click to expand...

I get that you don't like my choice of words.

Let me rephrase this: "I prefer twinks, jocks, and I'm also turned on by slim/artist types including emo and alternative guys."

I love music, especially emo and alternative, and I'm very turned on by guys who are in that scene.
To me, nothing is hotter than a muscular, agile, athletic guy. Muscles make me melt.
Creativity is cool too.
I really, really get stoked by guys who are sweet, flirty and fun, slim and around 18-23ish.

I agree, that is a lot more poetic!
 
Howlly said:
Pretty much everything you've said in your opening post would turn me off. Not the working out/looking after yourself part, but the "i'm looking for a fuck buddy" part.

Why not actually get to know someone, form a friendship without sex and complications and bring that in later? Surely it would last a lot longer and be more fulfilling in the long run.
Click to expand...


I think there's people who are LTR-oriented, and there's those of us who are not, and the percentages are probably about equal. It's like two different worlds. I'm not really down for an LTR. Maybe a relationship for a season or two with a cool guy, but not really considering anything more long-term than that.

Independence is much more of a value for me than clingyness, codependency, weddings, and all of that mess.

Good friends come along once in a blue moon. The reality is that there's many people you'll hit it off well enough with to have a short relationship, a friend with benefits, or a fuck or two.

There are some special people that you would like to have in your life for a long while, but there's much fewer of them and as a rule it seems like they're already in LTR's, or if they're not, there seems to be a rule that they never are living within 1000 miles of where I am.
 
I'm 20, and I tend to gravitate more towards guys a few years older than me. My cut-off would be 26 I think. That said, I am more relationship-oriented. Older guys tend to be more mature, and a mature person should be able to handle something beyond hooking-up. Generally speaking as well, I'm mature beyond my years and I surround myself with people who are not children in more than one aspect.

You sound hot honestly, but I'm not the one for hook-ups. An FWB might be different. But in general, guys' tastes, whether they are 20 or 50, vary greatly. If you want to meet younger guys I guess look around in the club scene. Otherwise, stick to online stuff like A4A, Grindr, etc. Whatever you do, don't prowl around college campuses...might come off as creepy, haha.
 
element2014 said:
I'm only into guys about 5-10 years younger than me (so 18-23) and I prefer twinks, jocks, and I'm also turned on by slim/artist types including emo and alternative guys.

I get some play fairly often, but I strike out more than 50% of the time. I also haven't really had success with getting a friend or fwb for regular fun... its just been hookups.

So I'm just looking for advice. Sometimes I head out to the bars, I have a couple people at work who are gay and connect me with friends/the social scene, and I'm not above going on A4A or Craigslist.

What can I do to give myself a better chance of hooking up, making friends, or finding an FWB? I work out (check.) I dress preppy and care about how I look (check.) I'm a college grad and have a personality (check.) I'll play from mild to wild, basically whatever my guy wants to do (check.)

I'm not that good at expressing myself online or in an email, chat, or CL ad. I mean, I don't know what I could say that would get my best attributes across.

So if you're 18-23ish what turns you on? What makes you give one older guy a chance when you wouldn't give that same chance to somebody else?
Click to expand...

I guess I don't understand what you're looking for - how to make yourself more attractive to guys younger than you?

Try being yourself - maybe

you seem a bit pre-occupied with check the boxes type of stuff

meeting people in my experience depends on:

looks - guys are involuntarily attracted to certain types of guys
personality/how you carry yourself - self explanatory

as for the age difference, i don't see a problem at all

plenty of younger guys like or really like or exclusively like older guys - if you're +10 on the high side some don't even consider that as "older"

not sure where u live but if u where in NY, there'd be plenty of opportunity

assuming you don't look like shrek or have a personality like donald trump

good luck

PS - r u on grindr? age and other stats r right there for all to see so u can tell right away by their response or lack thereof

I recommend it
 
I can sympathize with the original poster. I'm also into younger guys, but I can find older guys attractive too if they look young. I'm young looking myself, even though I'm 30.
 
I am looking for a ltr though. I'm not into hookups as I'm terrified of getting an STD.
 
I am 19, and with that being said, if I am looking for a hookup I am mostly just being superficial and looking for someone handsome. However, if I want more (and this includes fuck buddies and not strictly NSA) I look for personality -- mostly humor -- and someone kind. I don't know, but I'd probably have sex with you :)
 
I'm 22 and my partner's 51. A lot of the guys I hook up with are in their 30s or early 40s, though not always. I sometimes play with guys my own age, but mostly they're for 3-ways or they're actually friends and we hook up sometimes. I'm just attracted older guys, always have been. Money's got nothing to do with it. I just like the way an older guy looks, the strength of character they tend to have developed as they age, and their stability. What turns me on is the self-confidence. That's hellaciously sexy. The things the OP describes about himself sound ideal -- working out, keeping yourself looking good, being very flexible in the type you're looking for.

I won't deny that a lot of guys my age are only into older guys for the money and perks. But you can spot those pretty quickly, I'm sure. Run like crazy away from them if they're extreme, but accept it if it only involves buying drinks, dinner, stuff like that. Most guys my age aren't settled enough to have their own money like I was when I met my guy. If you're into the 'daddy' thing, that's a factor for a lot of young guys too. Not me though, it's a huge turn off and keeps me from 2nd dates with some of the older guys I meet. Nothing can make me want to run for the hills faster than some guy saying 'call me daddy' in the middle of sex. Ugh! Sorry, I can't separate that word from the associations with my actual father who is definitely NOT sexy!

So... advice. Get out there a lot. If you're striking out 50% of the time, you have to have more at-bats. Especially if all you're looking for is NSA and not a LTR. You're going to have to work at it simply because you're going to have a lot of turn-over in your partners. Keep taking care of yourself physically. Keep your options open as to type (yay for liking us twink/emo/artist types! :) ). If you want longer lasting friends & FWBs (not just one-nighters) who are younger, don't try to emulate them and 'be cool'. Be yourself, but again, flexible. Keep knowledgeable about the pop culture of your target audience so you don't come off like an 'old guy'. That's a hard line to walk. Too many guys turn me off with pretending to be 20 when they're 40. If I wanted a 20yo, I wouldn't be looking at you. Confidence, maturity, looks. In that order, for me anyway.

Good luck. :)
 
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