Is any person on here more (sexually) attracted towards women but identifie as gay? Or prefer women sexuality, but men emotionally?

[Dellen]

Doe anyone on here prefer women sexuality but identify as gay? Or prefer women sexuality and men emotionally? Or know someone like this? This isn't me personally ( I'm bi and I like both equally in some way) but believe men are more of a visual turn on. I'm just curious what people think and their experiences. I hear some people say that woman's bodies feel perfect for them, and meant for them,yet claim to prefer men or even identify as gay :/ *head scratch* keep in mind I really only hear this on forums of stays posts.

 

[SeaCore]

Yes, basically. Although I'm the inverse and I don't identify as straight. But it's absolutely possible for romantic attraction and sexual attraction to not align; frustrating as that can be.

It actually sounds like that conflict isn't all that uncommon for some bisexuals; that there's a romantic preference that leans one way that the sexual preference doesn't.

Here's a pretty short YouTube video from a woman talking about being, what I'll term, an asymmetric bisexual:

Now if your confusion is around why someone might adopt the term 'gay' or 'straight' when bisexuality seems more accurate: these are labels we use to communicate something about ourselves to other people. But often times words can't perfectly express what we mean or it seems unnecessary at a particular moment in time to go more in-depth so you might choose a word that gives the basic impression you need it to even though some information is lost.

The world at large doesn't really know what you're doing between your sheets nor does it really need to know that. But generally if you're romantically involved with someone it is assumed you're sexual involved with them (Or are going to be eventually.) To the general public a person who acts romantic around a person of the same sex is the same as a person who is both sexually and romantically involved with a person of the same sex. An outsider will see them as gay.

So, rather than deal with nuanced explanations you might just adopt the label of 'gay' to describe yourself because socially you are gay. And I'm sure there might be other reasons that could go into why someone might label themselves as gay when they don't seem to fit convention perfectly.

 

[neditesjamais]

Yes, SeaCore has stated it well. And I definitely recommend the video. She does an excellent job of presenting the confusions and frustrations--as well as pointing out how hard it is for others to perceive what we bisexuals deal with.

The key thing for many of us is the separation and potential mismatch between emotional/romantic attraction and sexual/physical attraction. Some would like to oversimplify this and compare it to a person who is dating two people at once and is having difficulty choosing which one to be monogamous with (or just plain refuses to choose). Nope. It's not that. It's a huge hole in your life regardless which way you go. (I for one have not tried having it both ways, so I can't say whether that works.)

And then there's one more really fun aspect that often gets overlooked: it's not static! So, over time, you may find the attraction levels shifting back and forth. In my own case, my relatively strong emotional/romantic attraction to women (along with a relatively low but still existent physical attraction to them) just got less and less. Not gone, but very much diminished. Weirdly, during some of that time of change, my attraction to men didn't really shift at the same rate. Talk about messing with your head!

Basically, I get tired of people putting pins in each other and sticking labels underneath, like we're butterfly specimens in a display case. People are complicated. And they come in just about every combination of complications. All beautiful--not unlike butterflies.

 

[GayGHOF]

I most definitely can relate. When I met my wife, my sexual desire/experience was with/for men. Once I was with her, I thought of myself as bisexual; since she is bisexual it was a perfect match for us. Her sexual desires for men was more promiscuous, liking multiple partners, so shortly after marrying we started 'swinging' with bisexual men.

Over time, my enjoyment and preference for sex with men continued to increase, and sexual desire for women diminished significantly. However, I continued to have a strong emotional attachment for my wife. We would meet a man for the sex that we both needed, but afterward we would snuggle and fulfill our emotional need within each other. There were other times when we would date bisexual couples as a lesbian/gay couple.

My wife was thrilled (still is) that I loved sex with men and started inviting gay men to be with me while she watched and frequently joined. Almost every gay man ended up fucking her; typically she was their first. Thirteen years ago, after an intense sexual experience with a dominant bisexual man who got me to confess my homosexuality, saying that seem to free me. When I got home, I told my wife that I am gay. She smiled and said she had know for quite awhile. She had me call my mom, who said, "Finally!" For me it was freeing to be who I am.

We have been married over 40 years, have a wonderful family (they don't know) and we have a wonderful younger bisexual black boyfriend for the hardcore sex that we both need, but the snuggle time, the tender kisses, hand holding is still between just her and me. I need men for sex, typically rough sex which she likes too, but I need her for my emotional fulfillment.

As a side comment, she adores gay men and feels a common bond with us. She believes gay men are perfect husbands: we watch chick flicks, cry together, go shopping, and when the sexual hunger needs feeding, slut ourselves for men.

 

[ballcaphair]

Interesting question, I'm bi and never really profiled myself as emotionally or physically divided. I've got to be able to relate and communicate with partners before anything happens. I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for lovemaking. Intimacy is a must for me. I love sex with men and women, but to me a quicky is not sex. It's just using someone else to masturbate. I'm not judging. It's just how I am.

 

[GayGHOF]

After responding, I started thinking back to the bisexual men we met during the time we were 'swinging.' Several bisexual married men told me that they preferred sex with men, and would fantasize about gay sex while they fucked their wife. My wife heard similar things from the married bisexual women she met, having a preference for sex with another woman, but married to a man.

 

[jmadaf]

I love the female body, but love to suck cock, and bottom. I have sex with men but love tranny & Cd porn. Does that answer your ques.

 

[ass eater]

No sexual, emotional attraction what so ever towards women. Only friend relationship. But I love pussy eating.

 

[ass eater]

To the gay men married to women, y'all are very unique. If I was married to a women we'd just be roommates.

 

[hjsimp_992]

Im super attracted to a hot chick, but partner wnat a guy. The other night was at a xmas party, co worker brought his girlfriend. All i could think about was her, and also him eating her out.