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Is anyone else not into anal?

Whatever floats your boat.

I do think some men are put off by it for no good reason. And it's probably not a good idea to deny it to a guy that really likes it. That's just asking for trouble.

But if you're both into frottage, who the fuck cares what other people think?
 
I've bottomed a few times with my partner, both to understand the physicality of what he feels when I top and also because I love him and want him to have the joys of what there is to offer. I'm still getting used to the feeling and all and know I'll never be a "total bottom" as it were, but I have to say I LOVE topping, and he loves when I do and we can kiss and stare into each others' eyes as we make love.

That being said, we both enjoy the other items on the menu as well :D
 
jspk said:
in other news Study: Anal Sex Has Never Been More Popular
Click to expand...

That article leads to this one, in which they discuss the large increase in women enjoying receiving anal sex. (Elsewhere, they discuss doing it to their male partners).
http://www.slate.com/id/2269951/

And here we have a lesson in data interpretation.

The question was whether or not the women actually like it. (OMG - they actually might?)

“Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Among those who received oral sex, it was 81. But among those who had anal sex, it was 94. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus... .What could explain this? . . . Here's my guess. Look carefully at [the data] …the more sex acts a woman engaged in during the encounter, the more likely she was to report orgasm. These other activities are what gave the women their orgasms. The anal sex just came along for the ride. So why did the inclusion of anal sex bump the orgasm figure up to 94 percent? It didn't. The causality runs the other way. Women who were getting what they wanted were more likely to indulge their partners' wishes. It wasn't the anal sex that caused the orgasms. It was the orgasms that caused the anal sex.”

I beg to differ. That is not the only way to interpret those data.


Access to the data is limited to subscribers :(

The Journal of Sexual Medicine
Special Issue: Findings from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), Center for Sexual Health Promotion, Indiana University
Volume 7, pages 346–361, October 2010
 
Booooo, I wish I had frotdar.

But really, my generalization when it comes to the gay men I've met is that they typically fall into the top or bottom category.. I'm struggling to think of anyone I fooled around with who was versatile. But all seemed to think of of anal as the focal point. It kinda hurts my feelings when people say it isn't sex without.

I need to meet more people!
 
I have a love-hate relationship with it. I've only had anal sex with guys I have been committed to and had a great deal of passion with, and mostly (okay, only) because I wanted to please the other guy. I did it because he liked it and I got pleasure from him liking it- but not the act itself.

I'd never do it just to do it because it really does nothing for me, and can easily turn me off from sex completely. And in terms of the Kinsey scale and such, I'm as gay as they come.

The best sex I've ever had didn't involve anal, though.
 
Harker said:
I have a love-hate relationship with it. I've only had anal sex with guys I have been committed to and had a great deal of passion with, and mostly (okay, only) because I wanted to please the other guy. I did it because he liked it and I got pleasure from him liking it- but not the act itself.

I'd never do it just to do it because it really does nothing for me, and can easily turn me off from sex completely. And in terms of the Kinsey scale and such, I'm as gay as they come.

The best sex I've ever had didn't involve anal, though.
Click to expand...

Same here. I got off on the fact that I was pleasing my man when I did it.

But after a lot of reflection, I realized the cons outweigh the pros, and there's no point performing a sex act that doesn't do it for you.

I love frottage. And although I think the people who call it "heroic" are in the same category as Scientologists, I have to admit that they've got me with one point.. and that is, to me, anal sex seems to be emulating heterosexual intercourse, whereas frottage feels way more like it's focussing on masculinity--which gets me so unbelievably hard!!!!!

I was always confused by the top/bottom dichotomy, finding myself attracted to the top types but not enjoying the bottom role... so this seems like the solution to me.
 
Prestobesto said:
Same here. I got off on the fact that I was pleasing my man when I did it.

But after a lot of reflection, I realized the cons outweigh the pros, and there's no point performing a sex act that doesn't do it for you.

I love frottage. And although I think the people who call it "heroic" are in the same category as Scientologists, I have to admit that they've got me with one point.. and that is, to me, anal sex seems to be emulating heterosexual intercourse, whereas frottage feels way more like it's focussing on masculinity--which gets me so unbelievably hard!!!!!

I was always confused by the top/bottom dichotomy, finding myself attracted to the top types but not enjoying the bottom role... so this seems like the solution to me.
Click to expand...


Yes, yes, yes and yes. When I was dating, what always complicated things even more for me was that, beyond the already complicated minefield of human attraction, in the gay world there is that other component of what role you are in bed-- and you usually have to pick one or the other. I did what I did for the men I was with, but not myself. If I'm purely thinking about what gives me the most pleasure-- it's frottage that gets me the hardest.
 
I don't like to bottom, that is for sure.
Unfortunately, I haven't ventured far enough in my travels to have topped yet.

So far, I don't like anal.
 
So all this time later and I'm still in the same boat. It's mostly guys wanting me to top for them.

It's weird. In my teens I thought it was totally hot. The older I get, the more of a turn-off it becomes. Recently a guy and I gave each other blow jobs.. and afterwards he said "when we have sex it's going to feel soooo good"...!!!!!!!!! What the hell!!!!

I'm not sure how to even find someone who feels the same way I do without first getting naked and then realizing they want something I can't provide. Which is really frustrating.

Anyone have options?
 
Prestobesto said:
I'm not sure how to even find someone who feels the same way I do without first getting naked and then realizing they want something I can't provide. Which is really frustrating.

Anyone have options?
Click to expand...

Ask him what he's into before you have sex. If it's an online thing, see what he mentions in his profile and ask him if he's into other forms of sex before you meet.
 
altlover85 said:
Ask him what he's into before you have sex. If it's an online thing, see what he mentions in his profile and ask him if he's into other forms of sex before you meet.
Click to expand...

I'm not really into casual sex though so its kinda awkward asking someone what they want to do in bed until after we've already started to like each other, and then it's disappointing to find out their fantasy is for me to bang them in the bum. =(

Kind of weird to think about starting dating with the sexual aspects up front, but maybe that's the most efficient way...
 
^ Do you even bother to actually read through a thread?

To the OP:

I get the sense that you may be somewhat anxious about the introduction of sex into a relationship.

For most guys, there will be an expectation that 'dating' as it is quaintly referred to, is going to lead to sex at some point. For me, I always liked to jump right in on the first 'date' and get it out of the way to see whether we were compatible in bed. Because if that isn't there, you only feel frustration and a huge let-down later on.

We are inherently sexual animals and it should be an enjoyable experience; an essential aspect of emotional bonding.

So. If you don't want to fuck someone or throw your ass up into the air on you first 'date' or at all, then tell them early on. One of two things will happen. They will figure that they won't be getting what they want out of the association and move on quickly.......or they may be quite content and even relieved to have found someone who doesn't like anal either.

Win, win.
 
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