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Is Cyber Sex/Fantasy cheating?

Something Else

Something Else

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Once in a monogamous relationship?

Or is it something else, altogether?

This has been something I've been grappling with BIG time.

Opinions???

Thoughts???

And my interpretation of Cyber Sex would be: anything that would involve attempting to get one aroused; and/or possibly reach orgasm once there through *suggestive* chatting, pic exchanging or web camming.
 
I think it rather depends on what's going on in your mind. If you are just jerking off, it's probably all right. Everyone jerks off from time to time, and we use 'porn' or fantasy to do it. If you are having some sort of 'relationship or connection with the guy on the other end of the cybersex relationship it probably is cheating - but then again, whether it is not no depends on your full-time partner's attitude. If they are cool with it, it's not; if they aren't, it is. No easy answers on this one.
 
well I view it this away.

Cyber-sex. It takes two ppl. One on each end of the computer and therefore since it involves somebody else besides your lover, then it's cheating!

Fantasy. You can't be arrested (yet...I should add) for thinking about doing something to somebody else via your mind. It's like one of my friends said when I play scoulded her talking about a local 26 year old guy (who is really hot but totally straight) (oh she's 46 and in a marriage of 20 years) she said...Hey I maybe be married and 46...but I'm not dead yet! :D
 
Fantasy, in your mind, or looking at pics or vids etc, and having a wank, no, I think its fine and everyone does it. You might not want to think you partner does, but I am sure everyone does.

Cyber sex, Cam to Cam with another real person, (not a porn star!) possibly is cheating, depends on the relationship and if you have a relationship with the person you cam with, difficult and probably better not to tell your BF about it and probably best not to ask!! As it is not real cheating, but would probably cause an argument.
 
i would say chatting isn't or at least i don't consider it to be... cause to me cyber sex just chatting is more like reading an erotic story that goes where you want it to...
camming or pic exchange(assuming they're personal pics) i would consider cheating
 
I don't think it is. There's a difference between getting your kicks online - porn, fantasy, cyber etc and actually having someone else in your home, in your bed.
What I think you shouold ask yourself is whether or not you feel like you are doing something wrong, what would your partner think, what would YOU think if your partner was doing it?
The fact that you are asking seems like you maybe already know the answer, and you're looking for someone to tell you its ok to carry on IMHO.
I caught my bf looking at porn on his computer once. He minimised the screen immediately. I just laughed and told him it was fine and that I do it too.
Talk to your partner if it bothers you, you may find he's having the same thoughts.... Establish some groundrules between the two of you and you should be fine.
 
Its not really, cyber sex is like role playing. You're pretending to have sex with the person you're sending messages to on the computer.
 
Weeman said:
Cyber-sex is waste of time.
Click to expand...

Exactly, a real question would be. Is webcamming cheating? I consider that a yes. Because its like going behind your partner's back and jerking off with a guy on the Internet. Plus it is really wrong if you don't tell your partner that you're jerking off, but then thats all what I would think if you're having ONLY a monogamous relationship.
 
Fantasy is your place and your world that nobody else can touch. In fantasy you can be what you want to be and do what you want to do. Maybe even go places you know you'd never do if faced with the actual situation.

Cyber? That's a matter of opinion. It's not what other people think, it's what you think that matters. If a person feels they're cheating on someone for passing words back and forth with another person via computer, then for their own conscience and peace of mind, they might wanna stop.

I agree with the webcam thing, though. I don't know why that should be any different than words on a screen, but it just kind of is. Camming and phone get a little more personal, in my opinion, than just typing text. I did phone a couple of times with a guy I met on the internet a couple of years ago. And while it was fun, it hit a little too close to home for me. I even met someone from the internet once. And I just won't go there again. Once bitten, twice shy, I guess you could say. I stay away from phones and r/t meetings. Been there, done that, don't wanna do it again.

Again, the whole thing is a matter of personal opinion. Do I personally think cybering is cheating? Not really. But to a lot of people, it is. Because it's still a sexual 'exchange' with someone other than your partner.
 
My take on Cyber Sex/Fantasy is that it is indeed cheating!

As it has the ability to capture the 2 (out of 3) most important aspects of a relationship--which would be the Mind & the Heart (Body would be the third).

I've known my guy to have had these exchanges online on several different hookup forums, while having multiple messengers. I asked him why he still visits there, he replied that "those are his friends that he's met even before we got together".

Should have followed my intuition at that time, as it didn't sit well with me then; as it definitely perturbs me now.

The thing is that I believe (hope maybe the better word) that he's not ventured into physical encounters. But I feel like he's more engaged into onine interaction than myself. And to add to this...

here's the doozie...

he's been chatting to his ex-BF as one of the guys?!:eek: :help: ](*,)

I've been perplexed as to how to classify this whole ordeal.

Is this cheating?

Or is it me being melodramatic???

I've never cheated on anyone in my life, yet have been betrayed few times before. Consequently, my Trust is terribly poor.

He's asked me many times before "do I trust him"; to which I've replied, "I trust him more than most".

I guess, when you've seen the sweetest, nicest people (girlfriends before, first bf here) cheat on you...it's hard to say that I TRUST you ever again.

*sigh*

He then retorts that, "he's not slept with anyone".

Yet somehow, it feels to me like his heart & mind has gone somewhere else.
 
Sometimes I even fantasize while having sex with my guy.

I love him, but I can't see myself being excited to be with him every time we make love. I can't imagine my life without him, but a little fantasy helps after 3 years together. I've had my share of casual sex and while connecting and getting it on with a stranger is very exciting the end result is never as satisfying as doing it with someone I really love.
 
Regarding the post just above my last, that does sound like cyber-sex being taken too seriously by one partner and it's definitely not healthy for your relationship. Sex is involved - it's not as if he liked watching ESPN and you didn't enjoy sports.
 
You might be putting cracks in your relationship or widening those already there.
I would learn to live without it if this is a really important relationship that you have together.
 
Fantasy definitely isn't cheating but I would be very uncomfortable if my partner were to engage in cybersex especially if it was on a regular basis.

I think both of them could be constituted as cheating if the end result was a deterioration in the love life of the couple.
 
As long as two people are actively participating in the act then it's cheating. The concept of cheating should be black and white... fuzziness only contributes to the decline of committed relationships in our liberalized and decadent world.

When you commit yourself to a person, you can no longer think for yourself alone... your decisions... especially those that relate to your sexuality or interpersonal relationships can positively or negatively affect your relationship with your partner.
 
Just wanted to let those that are interested know...

my intuition AND premonition were DEAD ON!!!

he's had used those sites for picking up guys, having sex (3 weeks ago) and cybersex (all of the above!)

and his body language and actions were CLEAR TELL SIGNS that he was!

So it's something to be weary of for those that share similar experiences

And it reinforces my DISTRUST with MEN--especially gay men whom are addicted to online sites like those.
 
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