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Is Dating Someone 15 Years Older or Younger Too Big of an Age Difference?

Is Dating Someone 15 Years Older or Younger Too Big of an Age Difference?

  • Yes

    Votes: 21 24.4%

  • No

    Votes: 56 65.1%

  • Not Sure

    Votes: 9 10.5%
  • Total voters
    86
yes.

i used to think it didn't matter but there was a guy earlier this year who was exactly 15 years my junior, i didn't realize his age until the second date. by then i was just... well. we went out nearly a month and had fun. when i told him i was interested in more than just dating he freaked and stopped seeing me. i was ready for a relationship and his being in his mid twenties? i guess he wasn't.
 
I mean 15 years difference isn't so bad. I'd definitely raise my eyebrows and shake my head at a 35 year old who seeks out 20 year olds to date (what's wrong with perfectly handsome other guys your own age) but it's nothing compared to the 50 year old who seeks out 20 year olds. A 25+ year age difference is what causes real concern.
 
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/reliable-source/2010/04/love_etc_playwright_terrence_m.html

Married: Terrence McNally and Tom Kirdahy Tuesday in Washington. The Tony-winning playwright, 71, and lawyer, 46, tied the knot on the banks of the Potomac near the Kennedy Center, which is running a series of McNally's plays. The couple had a civil union in Vermont seven years ago, but wanted a marriage: Rev. George Walker of the People's Congregational United Church of Christ performed the ceremony -- Kirdahy read a scene from McNally's play "Corpus Christi" -- and actress Tyne Daly served as a witness. The couple live in New York City.
 
As long as one of the two is of legal age and they both want some kind of relationship with each other then I don't see anything wrong with it.

People always assume it's the older after the younger when it comes to these relationships. They don't seem to realize that sometimes it's the other way around.
 
As long as both guys are legal age and its consensual, they should have the freedom to enter into whatever relationships they want.

Is it a good idea? In my opinion, no. Could it workout? Possibly. Could I do it? No
 
GL said:
yes.

i used to think it didn't matter but there was a guy earlier this year who was exactly 15 years my junior, i didn't realize his age until the second date. by then i was just... well. we went out nearly a month and had fun. when i told him i was interested in more than just dating he freaked and stopped seeing me. i was ready for a relationship and his being in his mid twenties? i guess he wasn't.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry this happened. The reason I created this thread is because I'm exactly in that situation except I'm the younger guy in his mid twenties. I didn't ignore him but I'm really confused on whether I want to be with someone 15 years older than me or not. Before I met him I never pictured being with someone over 5 years older than me and then he came a long and we just clicked and had so much in common. He's one of the most amazing people I've ever met but I'm not sure I want to be with him or not because of his age.

I told him this yesterday and I could tell it hurt him a lot and I think I might've unintentionally led him on. I did want him a lot in the beginning but after a while I started to have doubts because of his age. He told me I was everything he pictured his dream man to be but wouldn't want to be with someone who has doubts. He's dated someone my age before and told himself never again but decided to give it one more try when he met me. I feel like such an asshole because he's such a wonderful guy. One of the most wonderful I've ever met.

He's the first guy I've ever dated and the thought of possibly staying together for over 10 years and then suddenly breaking up because things don't work out scares me. Not only for me but for him to be in his 50's and alone I'd feel like he wasted his years on me if he could've found his life partner while dating other people during that time. Until now and even when I created this thread I wasn't sure if I should continue to date him or not but I think I know what's best for both of us now. I'm still in the closet and am still insecure about dating a guy that much older than me and am still unsure if I want to date someone that much older than me so until I can get over my insecurities and figure out what I want, I shouldn't involve him in my mess. I'm not sure if I'll ever meet a guy that great again but I'm probably doing the right thing.
 
Also thanks everyone for your contributions to this thread.
 
I voted yes, but that's my only based on my own taste, not a moral absolute.
 
Not really. I'm in a relationship where there is a big age difference and it's been going strong for three years.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
it is if you're 15.
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:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

:=D: :=D:

The_Pianist said:
Well, for me, 15 years difference puts him at 39 or 40, so no biggie.

But a guy younger... I just can't imagine meeting his parents as they'd be around my age. Bit creepy for all invovled I would think. No doubt I'd be accused of having corrupted their son.

That said, I've knew of one couple where the younger guy was 19-20 and this partner at the time they met was 51. They were together for 18 years until the older guy passed away at 69.

I feel bad for the survivor as, his partner is all he's known in terms of a long term relationship and he's still dealing with the loss and being alone.
Click to expand...

I've gotten to the point that I could date someone 25 years younger and have no problem meeting his parents. I spent most of my vibrant years under the hellish oppression of the belief that sex itself is evil and beating off probably means you're possessed. Now that I'm free of that, I don't particularly care what other people think.

My problem is that with that upbringing, I never learned how to not be alone: I wasn't supposed to talk to girls without being "properly introduced", and all that, so I had all of about a half dozen dates in my life before realizing who I really was and getting a clue that enjoying my body does not mean I've signed a pact with the devil.

I doubt, though, that I'll ever have the happy chance of meeting such a guy's parents, because I'm still not very good at not being alone.



BTW: I know a couple who are twenty years apart, who started dating when the younger was 16. There's nothing illegal about it, unless "dating" to you means "fucking". They held hands, but never so much as kissed (and having met them, I can't fathom that!).

But the moment the clock passed midnight onto his 18th birthday....... :p
 
The question itself is almost as insulting as asking if dating outside one's race is "too much".

It's up to the two parties involved and for no one else to judge.

As I see it.....

As long as they're happy, what does it matter how you "feel" about the whole thing?
 
I'm going out with someone who is 47 years old.

I'm closer to him than I have been with any other younger guy I've been with. Age is not even an issue that comes up since we get along so well, have plenty of things to talk about, and we love spending as much time as we can together.

If there's a connection, then go for it --age shouldn't matter. If you're sitting there in awkward silence, because you two have nothing in common except for sexual attraction, well that's another issue that doesn't necessarily have to do with age.
 
I don't think so.

If both people are mature and have no problem with it.

You can't choose who you fall in love with, and so what if they are older?
 
A 15-year age gap becomes increasingly irrelevant as you both get older.
 
^Yes. I'm 46 and my partner is 61 and we get along fabulously. I look older than my years (very gray and balding) and he looks much younger than his years. People think we're much closer in age than we are.

When I tell people I'm dating a 61-year old, you can tell by the disappointment in their expressions that they're thinking he's some frail old grandpa. As my Facebook friends and fellow JUB Supporters can attest, though, this former powerlifter is anything other than frail and weak. When I show them a picture, you see the shock on their faces, and they usually blurt out something like "what a handsome couple you are"! Ok, maybe that sounds smug, but I'm sick of being judged for having an older boyfriend.
 
Ages. It's all about ages. Like hell.

When you have anything else between you, then mere numbers should not stand in the way.

But if you're dating an infant, that's a whole different case.
 
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