On Topic Discussion Is Fag Hag An Insult?

[TheLoveableLoner]

Yep.

I've had close female friends, but I've never a "fag hag"and I never will.

 

[Kahaih]

Of course it is. Even if it's used playfully.

It's a female who looks to gay men for male companionship because she's unable to find a straight partner - too ugly, too fat, too dumb, too much emotional baggage, etc - hence the "hag" bit.

 

[sixthson]

Ask a hag.

 

[m1thousand]

is a fag hag always fat?

 

[TickTockMan]

is a fag hag always fat?

I have heard it used for any woman that hangs around queer guys. Including those with boyfriends or husbands.

 

[nycguydowntown]

do 18 to 25 year old fags even know the term fag hag?

 

[NotHardUp1]

What's wrong more than insult, is the notion that the woman is following a man. It isn't a term of equality. It implies she's a follower of some sort, that she is being defined by whom she chooses to hang out with.

 

[OlderNerd]

No, years ago I had a good friend who described herself proudly as one who was rail-thin.

Generally speaking, I would say it is used as an insult.

 

[frankfrank]

I have heard it used for any woman that hangs around queer guys. Including those with boyfriends or husbands.

That's always been my understanding of the term.

It is definitely an "insider" usage only, similar to "bitch" and "nigga" in a post on the previous page which were used in comparison.

And note that the latter is indeed "nigga" and NOT "n****r" which is quite different. When I see "n****r" used in that context, I actually think of it as a malapropism.

There was this woman who was a very endearing and wonderful fag hag who hung out with a gay clique I fell into in Macomb County (northeast Detroit suburbs, and exurbs up to Romeo and Armada) during 1970 and 1971. She was older than most (not all) of us - and, yes, she was obese. The respect for her was pretty much unconditional, and she'd sometimes cook group meals and host as many as 8 or 11 of us. She lived in Mount Clemens.

I got to know these people because of a very effeminate guy I met a couple years earlier in Ann Arbor, who was thoroughly a bottom - that was a major part of his entire being. (He died early in the AIDS pandemic, too.) I stayed in touch when he moved from Ann Arbor to Roseville (another suburb there) and he introduced me to these people, but I have no idea if he already knew then when he was in Ann Arbor...

That's my only experience with a fag hag, and (with that background and nothing else) I've always thought of the phrase as a very strong term of endearment - though it's probably not always so, and other experiences probably differ.