Is going to a club alone really that awful?

[AngelFromAbove]

I consider it kind of laughable when you're straight but isn't it different with us? We're gay and hooking up and meeting people isn't as easy, so it's understandable (or is it?!) to go alone to meet people and it's likely people will approach you anyway. That's how I see it so feel free to correct me. I really want to go but I've never been a party guy plus I don't dance AND I'm going alone so I'm afraid it will be too awkward. I'm not too social but nothing serious. In other words it will be hard for me to approach people cause it's me VS groups of people but I could make a good conversation if approached. What do you think? Experiences and suggestions are welcomed...

No, it is not really that different. I do not go to bars all the time, but I will say that many, if not most, go to a) hook-up and/or b) get absurdly drunk, within legal limits. So, if you are planning to go, I would definitely keep that in mind.

With that being said, I would not worry about not being able to dance or going alone. Just make an effort to talk to the people when you go. Trust me, people won't bite, unless you ask right.

 

[Sunshine]

I always get drunk people grabbing my ass.

 

[bokan800]

A couple of Manhattans and you'll acquire magical dancing powers.

Sometimes you have to make the first move. When I saw someone looking hard at me and starts to dance closer, I just dance with them.

 

[dpnice]

If you are a social wallflower then going to a bar alone is not going to help you improve. You are going to stand there feeling more and more depressed.

In itself there is nothing wrong with going out alone but you have to like your own company and appreciate the ambiance. Then if you can bring yourself to be the person who initiates conversations it is an easy way to become appreciated.

Make the bar a reqular place to go on your own and you will be recognised, making it easier for people to approach you.

Don't expect the world to fall at your feet if you are not willing to make a little effort yourself.

 

[Paws]

Keep the following in mind when planning to go club or bar alone:

Handsome and talkative? Win, go out. People will come up to you without effort.

Average and shy? Win, go out. Stay average and shy.

Ugly and full of complexes? Fail, stay at home. Surf the internet.

 

[GL]

i don't think going alone is really that awful. it's like going into any other bar and just grabbing a beer. that being said i much prefer to go to the club with my friends for the socializing and goofing off. and the dancing too. that's always fun.

 

[Kulindahr]

I don't have that many friends left so if i went out it would prolly be alone as well.
My problem is if i go out alone, ill prolly drink and drink and drink, and endup sleeping on some park bench

I'm in the same situation. For me, it's "Is going to a bar alone more awful than not going at all?"

Next time let's go out alone together -- we can share that park bench.

 

[bokan800]

I have no idea where Oregon is (as far as im concerned, its a spice)
but sure!
whats your drink?
im having a rhum and coke

Lol Oregon is not a nice place to sleep in a park...it's damn cold and rainy here.

 

[-Lance-]

If I must go alone, then goddamnit I go alone.

I imagine its best to find someone who is also alone.

alone+alone=not alone

 

[strokes630]

I'm currently single and do not have many gay friends...so I often go to gay bars alone.

What helps is that I go to video bars or to sports bars if there's a game on. That way I'm just watching something at the bar....then I'm not a wall accessory waiting to be hit on.

Life is short...go out. Who cares if you are by yourself. You won't be the only one .

 

[954dude]

Keep the following in mind when planning to go club or bar alone:

Handsome and talkative? Win, go out. People will come up to you without effort.

Average and shy? Win, go out. Stay average and shy.

Ugly and full of complexes? Fail, stay at home. Surf the internet.

Well said. I'm a mix of handsome, talkative and shy. Usually I make acquaintance with some clubgoers, bump into a good friend, or a Myspace buddy. I'm not a loner, but can't stand bringing friends who follow me all over the club and need babysitting.

 

[G-Lexington]

So why is it laughable when straight people do it, but understandable when gays do it? Sorry - I don't buy that.

Can you go alone? Sure. But know that the chances of anything happening increase exponentially if YOU start making contact.

Lex

 

[frankfrank]

I can't remember the last time I "just went into" a gay pub on my own. Probably within the last five years, but if anything it was entirely undistinguished and not really memorable in any way. I've never really been into it much.

And even if I do go, it's not going to be a loud dance club. In my case, a loud place rules out nearly all socializing on my part. I enjoy something like a quiet piano bar (Gery, are you there? LOL), but in a loud place I find that, between it being too loud to hear or be heard without screaming, and most of my thought processes shutting down amid the noise, it's not a social outing at all.

 

[windgates]

Okay, so far we have

Step 1: Go to bar
Step 2: Initiate Contact
Step 3: Conversation
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit!

... Thats how it works right?

Really though, Steps 2 and 3 seem like the hardest part. Going is easy enough.

 

[spearsfan20]

I go to gay bars all the time but the one that I normally go has a bar and a club on each side of the rooms which is a "whatever floats your boat" type environment. I, too, don't have many gay friends so I go by myself all the time. It's not really fun when I go by myself because half the time depending who the new kid is in the club I don't ever get hit on. Just last week on a Friday, I went by myself and I had a chance to talk for 5 minutes to two guys. One of them is really nice and I knew him from class and the other is a little bit of a slut so either way I never hung out with any of them. I just never understand why I get unnoticed by the hot guys but when it comes to the least attractive guys they want to chat with me. It sucks and my night always end up with not having a new friend to hang out.

 

[Joe King Jay]

First, I’d say it depends on where you plan to go - bar or club?

The vibe is a little different at gay clubs and bars; at least the ones I’ve gone to.
Both, however, are a lot of fun, with or without lots of friends. ShadyShain, you seem like a sociable guy; you’ll have a blast. I’d definitely say go for it!

p.s We expect to hear about your adventure if you do go .