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Is he cheating?

M

McPhersonsEye

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Hi everyone,

Ive been seeing a guy for about 1 year now, we love each other alot and spend technically most of the day together.

however on thursday he had his Gmail open and he gave me his laptop to download something, he forgot he left it open.

I was tabbing through pages when i came across his email page, one email caught my sight, a guy wrote that he is going to send a message to him on friday morning then ending with sweetheart, love and the guy's name, i looked at the mail my boyfriend sent (i know im horrible ) and saw that he will talk to him soon and the message ended with him saying "with love", (my boyfriend's nickname by which i call him)

my heart just stopped for a while. However i thought positive and pushed it aside so we can enjoy the evening. He is being so nice to me, loving me so much, taking care of everything, hugging me alot. I thought positive and told myself that i can't spy on him to know if he is seeing someone coz then i d be upset and cant tell him without exposing my horrible invasion of privacy.

Friday he said he was going to see a friend and that we will meet 7:30 but he arrived at 9:30 saying he was sorry he is late, there was alot of traffic on the way back. He hugged me alot and kissed me, it was genuine i know it. then he said he was going to have dinner with his friends on saturday night, i asked him to stay he accepted and we stayed but next day (TODAY) he said its his friends birthday and that we was going to take him to the restaurant just for dinner.

I told him i felt a bit odd him and kinda bothered me. He assured me saying that its just his friend and told me not to be bothered its nothing.

He made reservations right infront of me... he is going today and i feel really bugged, Wht is going on? is he being nice just to alleviate his guilt?

Please help me, id like to add some info, my boyfriend is 10 years older than me therefore his friends are all asskissers since he is extremly wealthy and successful i have noticed that. Am i thinking too much?

Help me get these awful thoughts off my head.
 
well he did meet his friends before and would go out with him, he is a social person and has dozens of friends. i feel im being negative :(
 
By the e-mail it would appear that some of his friends are a bit more than just 'friends'! I am not surprised at your re-action but has he ever implied that you were going to be his only 'friend'?
 
I say "with love" to friends ... I send kisses to friends everytime we chat... when going to our favourite club, we kissed with all the punters usually... yesterday when going to bed with bf, i said to a friend (in fun way), i'll be thinking of him in bed... but I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend.
What I'm saying, what he write in his email doesn't say how does he think about you and if he loves you.

The strange thing if that he's not telling you what he's going to do, like when he told you in morning that he's going out for a dinner... but that too can be just his way of acting - slightly inpolite but innocent.

I'd suggest Guy4Silver's way - ask him to take you with him to meet his friends. Plus ask him to tell you earlier about his plans. Then you will see...
 
It's too late now, but a better approach would have been, "hey your gmail is open. Who's _______?" Anything now is spying. If he has a lot of money, he may be used to getting what is wants. If there are friends that you haven't met why don't you ask why?
 
Of course he is cheating. The worse part is that you are allowing him to cheat on you. if you know the truth, bust his ass!
 
If he is sleeping around without your knowledge or permission, he is using you and putting you at great risk to your health that you did not ask for or agree to.

Spying on someone is only wrong if your fears are unreasonable. If you are right, it is called good detective work. You didn't trick him into showing you the e-mail. It just happened. That is not an invasion of privacy. But once you have seen it, it is your right to figure out what it means.

Do you know his friends as well? If I am taking a friend out for a birthday lunch, I'd almost always invite my guy too, even if he chose not to go depending on who the friend is.

When you are both around his friends, is he just as affectionate with them in front of you as he is in the e-mail? I would be very suspicious if he is friendly but strictly formal with his friends when you're around, but then obviously very affectionate when he thinks you're not there to read his e-mails or see his behaviour.

Something is wrong here, either because of his behaviour, or because you both haven't had a chance to understand each other's behaviour.
 
More signs kept showing up something wrong, i found him chatting with someone on an unknown email address. I was tired of such suspicion and wanted to know what was going on. So i installed a key logger into his laptop and found out what was going on.

To every guy there were love and sex messages, i talked to him and he explained it was his ex boyfriend who always tried to hook him up (his ex hooked us up but he thinks we broke up so he tries to hook him with others)

i dont know :(
 
He's Cheating.

AND Lying.
 
McPhersonsEye said:
More signs kept showing up something wrong, i found him chatting with someone on an unknown email address. I was tired of such suspicion and wanted to know what was going on. So i installed a key logger into his laptop and found out what was going on.

To every guy there were love and sex messages, i talked to him and he explained it was his ex boyfriend who always tried to hook him up (his ex hooked us up but he thinks we broke up so he tries to hook him with others)

i dont know :(
Click to expand...

Jesus Christ, stop stalking and leave.
 
Even if he ISN'T cheating - and everything suggests he is - you think he is, and you'll always be suspicious. Either get used to always thinking your boyfriend is doing something behind your back, or get ready to leave.

Lex
 
Well, you don't mention whether you two live together. If you do, then you need to start figuring out where one of you will go when this whole thing blows up.

If you are under the impression that this is supposed to be a monogamous relationship, then you're due for a confrontation.

If he continues to lie about it, get rid of him.

If he comes clean, then you have to do some thinking about whether this is a sign of things to come. If he's cheating one year into the relationship, the prospects aren't good.
 
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