Is he gay or curious or what?

[Tbird489]

My man, who I've been with over 2 years and have a 1 yr old with is acting precarious since returning from rehab. I asked to use his phone one day bc my phone was acting up/out of service, and he acted like he had to make sure it was safe before I got into it. He unlocked it, and he fell asleep. He seemed to think I had seen some text from a guy in rehab, I hadn't. He got defensive and wouldn't let me read them after. Then I eventually got him to let me...after he claimed it was a joke...this guy had said he "missed his cheeks" he then started acting aggressive toward me, overly jealous while I was doing nothing at all... I would go to work and come home. He then was acting secretive and our sex life has never declined. It's always been there. But I tried some things to see if he was into it... he let me use fingers, lick, and penetrate with my Dildo..but tried to play it off like he didn't want me to except he orgasmed huge when I did. Then he would say he was at places but wasnt, time got away, and then I am honest so I told him to be open with me. I let him know I'm not going anywhere, I'd do whatever to appease his desires in my power. I dress up, he says I'm beautiful but nothing more...i always come on to him. We have amazing sex, but my question is...is it amazing for both of us or is he putting on a show? I love him so much. He says he doesnt want me around this guy bc he thinks I cheated with him while he was gone, I did not tho, who I've always thought was gay... this guy he does meth with All men and there are never women...anyways he goes around his male friends they are more comfortable and happy go lucky together...i see it when I've been allowed around. I think these guys are telling their wives they are working and meeting and fucking. There were lots of Dildo shaped toys with tape all around his house... candles, mag lights, and my man always has bungee cords randomly...he looks at me different and felt different and idk he barely makes that connection type eye contact during sex with me... he says in a room full of "people" meaning male or female...its my soul he's in love with. I just want our future to be secure.i love him but if he's not being real about this then I feel like I'm crazy ...everything is a lie..bc he knows I'll accept him and be there no matter what...he said he will leave me if I ask again...but my gut says I'm not crazy. I will work with it, but I want honesty. I want to be able to protect myself ...why do guys hide this stuff? I understand I've been with both men and women, and gay men are considered evil or taboo..but I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm understanding and deserve full on everything...even if it hurts my feelings at first. I know what I'm capable of. Everyone and every relationship has their riffs and flaws. We work it out to where each partner is equally happy. Help me? Am I crazy? Should I let it go? Should I say h ell with my guy, he's not gay... It's torturing me thinking I'm being deceived. I need advice .

 

[mmaplus]

You've got a lot things going on here with your guy. I live with a man who's in recovery and can attest that, even though he's been clean for several years, deceptions that accompany substance abuse are typically second nature to drug users. It takes a very long time to re-establish trust between partners after one of them has gone off the rails. And I can tell you that often your own doubts and fears will steer your thoughts to places you don't want to go. It sounds like you two love one another very much, a good thing for you and your child. I would highly recommend seeking out a counselor who's experienced in dealing with partners of people who've had drug problems. And be completely forthcoming about the worries you've described here. You need to regain some peace of mind and once you do, it's possible that a lot of what you're suspecting will prove to be not what you think. But if there is more to the story than he's telling you, you need to have the tools to deal with it when the truth comes out. And it always comes out, one way or another. I can't speak for you, but my concern would be more about him relapsing than messing around with other guys. He shouldn't be hanging out with people he partied with in the past regardless who they are or who they sleep with. Find a reputable counselor you can talk to asap. I wish you the very best!

 

[Georgiadude]

I hate to say it but are you sure he's still sober? Hanging around guys that are doing meth and he's fresh out of rehab is a terrible sign. I'm in recovery and know many guys that did meth. They all said they'd get high and have sex for hours. Usually unprotected. Many times sharing needles. You need to think about yourself and your child right now. If he didn't have anything to hide he wouldn't get defensive. Is he working a good program for recovery? Does he attend meetings and have a sponsor? If he has any chance at staying sober he needs to work a good program and stay away from trap houses with guys doing meth and sex toys laying around. You have a lot more to focus on than pleasing him sexually. You need to get tested asap and if you plan on staying with him get on prep. A good resource for you is alanon. Go to some meetings. You don't have to say a word if you don't want to but there are good people there and they'll help you. His addiction will make him lie and get defensive. Usually the only person an active addict is fooling is themself. As I said you have a lot more to deal worn than sex right now. Odds are he is having sex with these guys and they aren't being careful. Its not a guarantee but if it looks and quacks like a duck.... Its a duck. I'm sorry you're caught up in this but you must put yourself and the baby first. Attend some alanon meetings and if possible see a therapist. Get tested and get on prep if you're going to stay with him. I hope and pray for the best.

Steven

 

[ballcaphair]

I work in a clinic and we get a lot of addicts. Meth users also alcoholics are usually brought in by the cops, repeatedly and often after rehab. Addiction is an illness that usually lasts a lifetime. You have yourself and a baby to care for. Get tested and be safe. It doesn't sound like he's supportave. Get help.

 

[Tbird489]

Thank you.

 

[Tbird489]

I work all day, and I had this terrible feeling like he had had sex with a guy. I gave him head he closed his eyes he then randomly got all excited wanted me on top continued closing his eyes and wanted me to finish on top...but I had this feeling he was thinking of someone else idk y... I've seen the gay porn... I know how good my head is...and it seemed like he was ...or am I in my head again?? I know I need a counselor, but I just need a little assistance.

 

[ballcaphair]

I hate to say it but are you sure he's still sober? Hanging around guys that are doing meth and he's fresh out of rehab is a terrible sign. I'm in recovery and know many guys that did meth. They all said they'd get high and have sex for hours. Usually unprotected. Many times sharing needles. You need to think about yourself and your child right now. If he didn't have anything to hide he wouldn't get defensive. Is he working a good program for recovery? Does he attend meetings and have a sponsor? If he has any chance at staying sober he needs to work a good program and stay away from trap houses with guys doing meth and sex toys laying around. You have a lot more to focus on than pleasing him sexually. You need to get tested asap and if you plan on staying with him get on prep. A good resource for you is alanon. Go to some meetings. You don't have to say a word if you don't want to but there are good people there and they'll help you. His addiction will make him lie and get defensive. Usually the only person an active addict is fooling is themself. As I said you have a lot more to deal worn than sex right now. Odds are he is having sex with these guys and they aren't being careful. Its not a guarantee but if it looks and quacks like a duck.... Its a duck. I'm sorry you're caught up in this but you must put yourself and the baby first. Attend some alanon meetings and if possible see a therapist. Get tested and get on prep if you're going to stay with him. I hope and pray for the best.

Steven

You're responsible for a child. Would you want your child in this type of situation?