Is he Gay/Should I go for him?

[hokidoki]

So I really need advice this time around because nothing like this has ever happened to me before.


So I have been friends with this guy for about a year and a half now. For the first 6 months or so of our friendship, it was pretty normal (we hung out, chatted, took classes together at UNI). But for the next 6 months we started getting really close. He'd come sleep over all the time until one night he asked to sleep in my small twin sized bed with me..and that's when we started cuddling. From then on he'd sleep over about 1-3 times a week and we'd cuddle and such. This went on for about 4-5 months (my last months of UNI). So I graduated...went on with my life without talking to him for about 6 months. I see him over this Thanksgiving break and he sleeps over. This time we started cuddling and it did not stop there. We ended up making out and going to third base. This is a guy I have come to know as Straight. HE says he's straight and he also sleeps with women.

I think I'm starting to fall for him and I don't know what I should do. We haven't talked about what happened that night and we just saw each other last night for Christmas and everything seemed pretty normal. Now I don't know if I should go for him/initiate a conversation with him about what happened/how I feel about what happened.

What do you guys think?

 

[slickery]

He's gay and he feels comfortable with you.

But I can guarantee he wont be comfortable with a conversation about it unless the time is right. Find a time when you know he will be comfortable. Like if he sleeps over again when you are cuddling.

 

[KaraBulut]

What do you guys think?

I think this is another fixer-upper.

If you wish to pursue it, you're in for weeks and months of having a straight but confused boy in your bed on the nights when he's not out looking for pussy to bang in order to prove he's straight.

There's two problems:

• Every night this guy is not in your bed, you'll be wondering if he's with some girl.
• Every night this guy is in your bed, it leaves little room for that nice guy who can admit he's gay- the guy that you should be spending your nights with instead of this confused boy.

 

[badchicken]

I totally agree with KaraBulut.
A similar thing happened to me these past few months...

I'd start by asking myself, are you willing/able to help him come out? Since he's waited so long, and still trying to prove himself capable of having relationships with women... is it worth it?

Could you see yourselves together in the long run?

I'd hope so.

But I guess... for now... I'd wait till the next night he's over, and talk to him about it. It sounds like this guy just needs an understanding friend to talk to.

I'd do it.

Worst case scenario: he never talks to you again. (which i doubt)
Best case: You guys start dating, and you help a good friend deal with coming out.

Wish you the best of luck,
mike.

 

[hokidoki]

Thanks for all the advice. He actually called me tonight and asked to meet up to talk about it.

Hope all goes well.

 

[KaraBulut]

Thanks for all the advice. He actually called me tonight and asked to meet up to talk about it.

Hope all goes well.

It's good that he's ready to talk.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.

 

[hokidoki]

On the phone he actually says he's not sure what he is now. He says he's still exploring his sexuality.


SO let's hope I can help him through that.