Is he gay?

[biguy562]

Hey guys! I have a question. I have a class with a very cute guy. My problem is I do not know if he's gay or not. His facebook says he is "in a relationship" with a girl and that he is interested in women. The other day he had to give a group presentation. I noticed by some of his hand gestures and the way he stood that kinda caught my eye. He is big into music and I read on his blog that his first favorite bands were N'sync and the backstreet boys. Other than that, there are no other clues...haha...He is also big into sports. He writes for the school's newspaper.

Any tips or should I just let it go?

 

[Lube]

If you don't come out to him, nothing will happen. How can it? You're both so afraid of coming out, you're frozen with indecision.

 

[Eagle653]

Unfortunately, he's given few solid clues. Hand gestures and taste in music (at least his) are too uncertain. At face value, he's either straight--or wants to deceive people into thinking he is, which, in the end, comes up short for you.

You could always come out to him and see if he comes out to you in return. Otherwise, I'm afraid he falls into the "wishful thinking" category.

 

[ILoveYouandFB]

Wishful thinking. I was in your position and people told me it was wishful thinking, I didnt want to belive them and I told they guy I was gay. He outed me to the whole high school. So yeah, Let it go.

 

[biguy562]

Yea, that's what I'm thinking too unfortunately. We are both in college and graduating in May. I actually just got done talking to him.

 

[texan_slant]

Seriously, if he's indicated on FB that he's interested in women, why doubt that?
Hand gestures and N'Sync aren't sure-fire ways of indicating that someone is gay. Like I always say - assume that they are straight unless they say otherwise.

 

[Lube]

^ exactly what I was going to say. By publicly stating he's straight, then either (a) he is straight and you have no chance, or (b) he is afraid to admit his gay side, and it would be an uphill battle to get him.

But isn't that what everyone in this forum is doing? Saying they're straight when they're really closeted?

I don't think it's anywhere near as negative as your post makes it seem.

 

[medic1]

Does this guy know your sexual tastes eg bisexual or do you give him the impression that you are just another straight lad?
Also has he ever shown any signs of homophobia or made any anti-gay remarks
that you know of.
If the answer is no then i think that you have to decide is he the sort of guy that
if you said anything and he does turn out straight how do you think he would handle it?
Either runs about telling everyone or says thanks i feel really flattered but i am straight but gay friendly.
It is a big choice that you have to make buddy but only you can make it either way
good luck and i hope that it is the right one,good luck

 

[biguy562]

Also, he has a lot of pics on his facebook with his arms around guys but then again they could just be friends.

 

[TX-Beau]

Also, he has a lot of pics on his facebook with his arms around guys but then again they could just be friends.

OK. You're hyper-analyzing...

"...His little finger was pointing north on a Tuesday, does that mean he's gay?...Judy Garland was on the radio when I was thinking about him, does that mean he's gay?..."

That's ALWAYS a bad sign. Because it means you have no evidence one way or another.

SO let's talk about you. Where do you see this going? If you knew one way or the other, where is this heading?

Even in your best case scenario, he's in the closet, and dating someone else. Are you thinking he's going to dump the girlfriend and come out for you? Are you planning on hiding?

Closet cases are for all intents and purposes straight, they do not become your boyfriend.

The best you can hope for from one of them is to be forever waiting while he builds his straight facade hoping he'll show up after his friends have all gone home.

Is that what you really want?

 

[medic1]

OK. You're hyper-analyzing...

"...His little finger was pointing north on a Tuesday, does that mean he's gay?...Judy Garland was on the radio when I was thinking about him, does that mean he's gay?..."

That's ALWAYS a bad sign. Because it means you have no evidence one way or another.

SO let's talk about you. Where do you see this going? If you knew one way or the other, where is this heading?

Even in your best case scenario, he's in the closet, and dating someone else. Are you thinking he's going to dump the girlfriend and come out for you? Are you planning on hiding?

Closet cases are for all intents and purposes straight, they do not become your boyfriend.

The best you can hope for from one of them is to be forever waiting while he builds his straight facade hoping he'll show up after his friends have all gone home.

Is that what you really want?

Funny that my closet case lover after seeing me for a year came out and we spent 9-5yrs with each other.

 

[KaraBulut]

Rules to live by: If someone says they're straight, take them at their word.

 

[ILoveYouandFB]

I know how you're feeling, You are probably thinking we have no idea what we are talking about considering we don't know him, But PLEASE, assume he is straight! You will regret it otherwise!!! TRUST ME!

 

[mbamike]

Let it go. He is "in a relationship."

 

[anchihiro]

This isn't going to happen for you. Liking nsync isnt a secret omission of sexuality just very bad taste.