is it common/normal?!

[sleepermiracle]

Hi, I know it sounds a bit insane, but this is extremely serious. Is it normal for a bi guy to have sexual thoughts for a short period during puberty about his own father? Im a 18 years old bisexual male, and yesterday I just suddenly mentioned to myself that somewhere between 13-14 years old, for something like a few months, I was sexually fantasizing about my father.
im so freaked out now. is it normal? what does it mean?? please help me, im really anxious.
BTW, I might have some grammer mistakes, sorry about that...

dont get me wrong, I didnt really wanted something sexual with him, or tried to seduce him, but thinking about his body used to get me aroused.. I dont think I even fantasized about doing something sexual with him, but, again - I got aroused by his body.. I never wanted to act on these thoughts. I dont think I was even included in these sexual thoughts.. I mean - it was just images of his body.
im not aroused by him anymore. as I said - it was a pretty short period of time(few months I think), a few years ago. it really passed, but for some reason its freaking me out now.
my life is pretty normal and I was never sexually abused or something like that. I was always fine with my father and always liked him as a father(even at the period of time when I had sexual thoughts about him). theres even a girl that I love and sexually attracted to, but in these last two days I cant think about nothing but the anxiety and the fear.. please help me. is it common for bi guys to have sexual thoughts about their father for a period of time in their lives/during the puberty/when they're pretty newly aware of their sexuality?
im afraid that it means something about my relationship with my father, or makes me exlusively gay, and not BI as I always knew, or thought I am (because I never had any sexual thoughts about my mother or sister, but on the other hand also not about my little brothers, and I can be aroused by hetero porn and I get an erection while hugging the girl that I love or while fantasizing about her).
I also afraid that it makes me a girl because it usually happens between a boy and his mother, or a girl and her father... I didnt heard much of similar cases between a boy and his father... some of you did? or had? oh god please what is going on with me?!
I cant be a tranny! I always liked my male organs, being masculine always felt great! or getting compliments about masculinity (like "wow your voice have changed!" or "how did you get your muscles without doing anything?!"), I never wanted to have female organs, never wanted to dress like a woman...


please, please help me.

 

[Corny]

Yes, it is perfectly normal and happens frequently. As you said, straight guys are often attracted to their mothers at some point. And even some straight guys are attracted to their fathers at some point. That doesn't need to mean anything.

Your real problem is something different: your fear of being "full" gay.

 

[vidarr]

I think it's a matter of what you were exposed to at a particular stage in life. Attraction to family members is normal for most people. However most never act on those feelings and grow up to be fine.

I too was afraid at a young age that being gay meant losing my masculinity. But that fear came from caring more about what other people thought of me.

Relax, let yourself be happy in your own skin. You can be a man and still like men.

 

[sleepermiracle]

Yes, it is perfectly normal and happens frequently. As you said, straight guys are often attracted to their mothers at some point. And even some straight guys are attracted to their fathers at some point. That doesn't need to mean anything.

Your real problem is something different: your fear of being "full" gay.

Im a bi with H-OCD - obsessive fear and thoughts of being attracted to only one gender(gays - fear of being straights, straights - fear of being gay/bi).
its not a rational or a reasonable fear, im gonna start taking meds soon.. hope it'll help.

vidarr - its not a fear about my masculinity, but fear of losing relationships with girls, or attraction to them (again - its an absurd and unreasonable fear, cause I know I do like girls, and do get aroused around the girl that I love. thats what OCD does - plays with your mind).

and I know it happens frequently, but I didnt have any attraction for my mother on the other hand, so doesnt it mean something about my sexuality? maybe its because I discovered my hetero side a bit later? (I really did)
BTW, is it also normal that in the short puberty time period when I had sexual thoughts about my dad I used to get aroused by touching his fallen body hair after he took a shower? I used to get aroused by big hairy guys then.

 

[hylas]

jeez calm down. youre panicking about something that is in the past, and another thing that is completely random and unreasonable ('i cant be a tranny!').

its normal to have specific sexual fantasies for only a short period of time.
its normal to sometimes have sexual fantasies that are deemed 'inappropriate'.
its normal to have sexual fantasies that arouse you but you have no intention of ever act upon.

just calm down already, kay?
and go work on your other issues you obviously have. you sound like youre all over the place.

 

[sleepermiracle]

jeez calm down. youre panicking about something that is in the past, and another thing that is completely random and unreasonable ('i cant be a tranny!').

its normal to have specific sexual fantasies for only a short period of time.
its normal to sometimes have sexual fantasies that are deemed 'inappropriate'.
its normal to have sexual fantasies that arouse you but you have no intention of ever act upon.

just calm down already, kay?
and go work on your other issues you obviously have. you sound like youre all over the place.

Its not that simple... Its like a neverending crazy loop. once you get over one crazy thought, the other one begins to freak you out.
and the spikes are so stupid..! for example - one night after finishing my shower I made some funny facial expressions in front of a mirror just for fun, then one of the expressions suddenly seemed very feminine - BOOM! 4 weeks of anxiety and obsessive thinking about being transgendered.
This is f*cking crazy I just want it to end.

 

[Rolyo85]

Ok, I don't really want to call you on it, but what you're doing right now is [EDITED-inflammatory language]. If you are aware that those things are irrational, why are you posting here? If you are about to take meds about it, why are you asking for advice? You already know these things are normal, and you have already concluded simple advice won't help.

That said, you are transgendered if you perceive yourself as female, not if your body is capable of feminine acting. You are gay if you either not like girls at all, or a lot less than guys. And this is not the place where anyone will agree that being gay is horrible. I am exclusively gay. I am also masculine. Never had a single fantasy about my father. Go figure.

Just chill pls.

 

[hylas]

(...) I made some funny facial expressions in front of a mirror just for fun, then one of the expressions suddenly seemed very feminine - BOOM! 4 weeks of anxiety and obsessive thinking about being transgendered.

oh boy you need professional help.
im guessing youre seeing someone already, theyre suscribing you the meds, right?
the best of luck.

 

[dreamerboi]

I used to have sexual dreams about my brother for the longest time. It's all over now. I think it's pretty normal when you are going through puberty.

 

[MascutarHero]

I don't think it's wrong, so don't beat yourself up. Like a comment I seen in another thread, you can be attracted to anything or anyone but depending on what/who that is don't act upon it when you know its not exactly "right" and keep it as a fantasy.

 

[sleepermiracle]

Ok, I don't really want to call you on it, but what you're doing right now is [EDITED-inflammatory language]. If you are aware that those things are irrational, why are you posting here? If you are about to take meds about it, why are you asking for advice? You already know these things are normal, and you have already concluded simple advice won't help.

That said, you are transgendered if you perceive yourself as female, not if your body is capable of feminine acting. You are gay if you either not like girls at all, or a lot less than guys. And this is not the place where anyone will agree that being gay is horrible. I am exclusively gay. I am also masculine. Never had a single fantasy about my father. Go figure.

Just chill pls.

attention whoring? for what? I know somewhere deep inside that these things are normal, but the problem is that my mind tells otherwise, so I can never FEEL 100% sure, and thats why I have to ask about every new crazy thought/spike.
and please understand, its not a fear of being exlusively gay, its a fear of not being in my true sexual orientation(bisexuality), I guess you guys can accept THAT fear.
I registered to this forum especially for posting this thread, im extremely anxious, you call that an attention whoring? of course, those who have never been there will never really understand, but you can at least try to.

 

[Rolyo85]

I just don't see what responses you hope to receive to this. People tell you "it's normal". You reply with "I know, BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE". So what do you expect to happen next? What are we supposed to tell you now?

And how can you fear that you won't be in your true sexuality? You are ALWAYS in your true sexuality. That's like being afraid to not be in your true hair color.

 

[Seasoned]

Take the advice you like and leave the rest.

Name calling is not ok in this forum and it's ok to report it.

 

[sleepermiracle]

I just don't see what responses you hope to receive to this. People tell you "it's normal". You reply with "I know, BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE". So what do you expect to happen next? What are we supposed to tell you now?

And how can you fear that you won't be in your true sexuality? You are ALWAYS in your true sexuality. That's like being afraid to not be in your true hair color.

Nothing but indetification, or a similar case... isnt that one of the goals of this specific forum?

And this is exactly the point! its not a reasonable fear, its almost psychotic.