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Is it difficult to make friends as you get older?

So... what are you doing? Where are you going? What are your interests? What's your age? How much time are you putting into it? Are you trying new things? Are you shy or gregarious?

Gotta have a bit more info man. Succinct has its' place... and this ain't it.
 
It is more difficult, because as you get older, groups and communities become increasingly consolidated, and many people become more inflexible, set in their own particular ways or are less willing to tolerate other people's peculiarities. It even happens with people who have been friends for a long time, to one day discover that they never had much in common and didn't even enjoy each other's company that much. As one of my mother's friends told her recently while discussing why she refuses to associate with some of their friends from their school days: "I think that, at the age of 54, I have earned the right to only be with people whose company I truly enjoy".

However, it's not impossible. Have you tried joining gay sports groups, attending night school or the likes? it's amazing how open and willing to befriend you people become once they realize that you have some things in common.

By the way, I am not assuming that you are older than 50 or anything like that. It was just an example. :-)
 
Pretty soon there'll be Gay Marriage. And after that there'll be plenty of Gay Divorcees who just might set up Gay Divorcees' Clubs. ;)
 
pat grimshaw said:
Pretty soon there'll be Gay Marriage. And after that there'll be plenty of Gay Divorcees who just might set up Gay Divorcees' Clubs. ;)
Click to expand...

Yay Captain Sunshine has a plan... lol.

Like the mouf says I would suggest you join a club that has a interest you have as well. As a for instance, i used to mountain bike a LOT... the last decade not so much, BUT I just dropped my bike off to be tuned and will start riding with a local club called earth riders... i expect i will find some friends to go on rides when earth riders isn't doing something. Also joining a charity training group to ride a century later on in 2014... same thing there. But riding may not be your thing.
 
So I'm 24 and I'm a pretty shy guy. I really enjoy cooking, video games, and board games. I've been forcing myself to go out with my cousin more often so I can meet new people and I do and things are fine for a bit but then communication eventually stops. I am planning to go back to school in the Spring so hopefully I can make some friends there.
 
Well there are gamer groups arent there? I know my nephew used to do conventions and such but to get there he played locally. There should be something like that in NYC... where ya gonna go to school... if you wanna share...
 
^Yes, Jay's right. You have to get into common-interest groups (even if they're het). Most gay counselling services have lists of local common-interest groups. They may seem TACKY at first but you have to make an effort.
 
And yes, it is harder to make friends as you get older, so hustle and get to it! You're still too young to sound so old.
 
GreyUnderscore said:
So I'm 24 and I'm a pretty shy guy. I really enjoy cooking, video games, and board games. I've been forcing myself to go out with my cousin more often so I can meet new people and I do and things are fine for a bit but then communication eventually stops. I am planning to go back to school in the Spring so hopefully I can make some friends there.
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Join up with some gamers, play online and see if you can find some people in your area - hanging out with your cousin is a step in the right direction, and once you're in school you can meet folks and have a game night, plant some more seeds and expand the mind abit. I would say join gaygamer.net, but that site is so... new person unfriendly these days. As for communication stopping, never be afraid to be that "random" friend - the one that pops up from time to time and says "what's new?". The worst they can say is that you're trying - the best they can say is that you care.
 
I've never found it that difficult.

I am myself.

I also know, my personality and humor is a draw to others.

It makes it easy.
The older I get never comes into the equation.
 
MoufOfKhaos said:
Join up with some gamers, play online and see if you can find some people in your area - hanging out with your cousin is a step in the right direction, and once you're in school you can meet folks and have a game night, plant some more seeds and expand the mind abit. I would say join gaygamer.net, but that site is so... new person unfriendly these days. As for communication stopping, never be afraid to be that "random" friend - the one that pops up from time to time and says "what's new?". The worst they can say is that you're trying - the best they can say is that you care.
Click to expand...

I hope things are different when I go to school this time around. Playing online sounds like a good idea which is why I'm planning to buy a PS4 and finally start online gaming. I do send those random "Hey how are you texts" and we talk for a bit and then silence. it's starting to feel like I'm forcing something to happen when it's obvious they don't want that to happen.

backagain said:
I've never found it that difficult.

I am myself.

I also know, my personality and humor is a draw to others.

It makes it easy.
The older I get never comes into the equation.
Click to expand...

I'm always myself when around others. I guess I haven't met the right people yet. It's just so discouraging.
 
JayHawk said:
Well there are gamer groups arent there? I know my nephew used to do conventions and such but to get there he played locally. There should be something like that in NYC... where ya gonna go to school... if you wanna share...
Click to expand...

That's the thing. Some conventions look fun but I have no one to go with and I'll just end up getting bored. As for school I'm going back to Lehman and maybe I'll transfer to another college.
 
Well i dunno I dont imagine gamers are really local groups with it mostly online. So maybe you should open your interest..... you have to like some other things... as said earlier going back to school will help too... I know my college had tons of various interest groups, so join one or even if you get good grades join a study group... plenty of ways to get out there.
 
GreyUnderscore said:
So I'm 24 and I'm a pretty shy guy. I really enjoy cooking, video games, and board games. I've been forcing myself to go out with my cousin more often so I can meet new people and I do and things are fine for a bit but then communication eventually stops. I am planning to go back to school in the Spring so hopefully I can make some friends there.
Click to expand...

Oh Jesus. I thought you were in your 70's and housebound or something.

All the best friends I have today, I met after the age of 40. One thing I recommend. Get out there and volunteer for something. Get involved in an activity where you will have a shared goal or interest. Smile at everyone. Shut off your computer and get out of the house.
 
My lord, you are only in your 20's, long way to go buddy. I'm in my 50's. I don't find it difficult to make new friends as much as I just don't want to. After my husband passed after 34 yrs. by my side, I hang with my friends who have been in my life just as long. I have never lived alone my entire life until now and have found I like being with just me. I live in the same house Steve and I bought 32 yrs. ago so it feels to me like he is still here with me. I know, odd, but it is comforting.

Try gaygamers.net. I game also and I enjoy BSing with gay guys who also game. As you get older you will find you'll develop really close friends and probably only a few of them. I prefer to have a few really close friends than a whole shit load of acquaintances that may or may not be there should I need them. I don't have the desire or time to nourish so many friendships. YMMV
 
rareboy said:
Oh Jesus. I thought you were in your 70's and housebound or something.

All the best friends I have today, I met after the age of 40. One thing I recommend. Get out there and volunteer for something. Get involved in an activity where you will have a shared goal or interest. Smile at everyone. Shut off your computer and get out of the house.
Click to expand...

Totally agree. I can say I met my best friends after age 40 as well. Grey I love cooking too and have met some cool people over the years at cooking classes. Doesn't have to be expensive... Skills Exchange or similar evening classes. Most big cities also have regular potluck dinners or brunches for singles. Check the gay websites. Having come out in my late thirties, I can say I found it difficult meeting guys to date. The guys I was attracted to invariably had boyfriends and were looking for nothing more permanent than an occasional hook up. A lot of guys you'll meet socially will already have an established circle of friends and may not think to invite you to a function. You'll need to take the initiative and, without sounding too desperate, ask if you can join them for a movie, dinner or what have you. Be upbeat, optimistic and persistent.
 
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