Is it easier with gay friends?

[Looking4Fun2009]

I just wanted to get some advice, do you think it's easier to come out, and, in general, have fun being gay if you have other gay friends?, it's just, while I was at uni (I just recently finished), I had an amazing time, going out and everything, but, now that I've finished, I can't really be part of the uni LGBT anymore, and it's more difficult to meet up with them (I still will meet up with some of them, though), but, right now, I'm just not really having much fun, like I haven't been out to a gay club or gay bars in like ages. I've seen some people who seem to be able to go to gay bars on their own and they'll have a great time, but, I don't think I could do that, I guess I'd be too scared, or shy, to be on my own, and not know anyone. I'd love to be able to join some kind of LGBT, but, the one I've looked at isn't really near me, and I can't find many more (I know there must be some, as I am in London, but, I don't know where to look).

Anyway, I just wanted to hear your thoughts.

BTW, if this is the wrong place for this, please feel free to move it.

David.

 

[TX-Beau]

Have you tried searching the net?

Why can't you hang out with the friends you already have? Is there some kind of rule that says that once you graduate you can't be friends with those guys anymore?

 

[JetSetJake]

I'm of the opinion that most things are more fun if you've got people to do them with. For example, some people like going on holiday alone cos they can do what they want, when they want. I prefer going places with at least one other person so you can point things out to each other, discuss stuff and generally share the experience.
Some people don't mind eating out in a restaurant alone. Other people treat this as a social event and only do it when it's some kind of occasion and a group of friends are going.
It depends on you as a person. What you like, what you want to do, and what you want to get out of the situation. The person who eats alone in a restaurant might just want to enjoy his food. However, for the person who only goes as part of a group, having a laugh and catching up on the gossip might be more important.

In a nutshell, I think that yes, it is easier to have fun and enjoy stuff if you've got gay friends - especially if the stuff you're talking about is going to gay bars/clubs etc. In any case, I think being around like-minded people (whether that's just other gay people, people who enjoy the same things as you, or both) makes things much more interesting.

 

[josher]

Yes

________

 

[CudDULL]

I think encouraging words from friends in general help you coming out. Gay people would normally know your situation and be able to relate with you better too.

BTW are you already out and looking for gay friends now or are you still in the closet? i'm confused really since the question doesnt go with the story.

anyway good luck meeting some new friends.

 

[Looking4Fun2009]

I think encouraging words from friends in general help you coming out. Gay people would normally know your situation and be able to relate with you better too.

BTW are you already out and looking for gay friends now or are you still in the closet? i'm confused really since the question doesnt go with the story.

anyway good luck meeting some new friends.

I'm really only out to the people at my LGBT and some others, but, my other friends (mainly from school and elsewhere) don't know. That's why I miss being at part of the uni LGBT, and going out to, well, gay places.

 

[Nomenclature]

I just wanted to get some advice, do you think it's easier to come out, and, in general, have fun being gay if you have other gay friends?

Absolutely. When a guy first comes out, he usually comes out to other gay people first, then straight girls. Straight male friends and family are usually the last to know. You can be 100% honest about yourself to another gay friend, and they usually won't even blink an eye.

Be careful, though: Most people can be flat-out jerks, gay or straight. Befriend and come out to people you get along with and can trust.

 

[Lube]

While I'd never give up my straight friends, being out and gay is obviously much more fun with other gay men.

I mean, straight people will think talk about the sexiest guy is fun for a few minutes, but will quickly bore of it. Gay men never will. ;-)

I have a hard time believing that someone in London can't find people or a place to go, though?!?!?!?! And an equally hard time understanding why someone living in the most cosmopolitan of cities (a) doesn't want to come out, and (b) believes that his friends haven't figured out that he's gay.

 

[liljaden2003]

well i've been out for four years and all my 'flesh' friends are straight whom i've known for years. but sometimes i think it would be nice to have a gay friend i could relate to on other levels. but i have a very nice online gay friend so far.

 

[terps420]

Speaking from personal experience, no; it is not easier to come/go out with gay friends. If anything, I have come to believe it is exceptionally more difficult.

The reason I believe this is because almost all of my gay friends I have known throughout the years are notoriously reclusive. The moment you step into the bar (gay), they're gone. It's a noticeably different experience in comparison to having all your guy friends and yourself sticking together and being eachother's wingmen throughout the night (in straight clubs of course). I'm bisexual so of course my experiences aren't the norm.

It's unsettling either way once you've noticed it.