Is it easy to be outed or found on Grindr? 18 year old closet bi virgin here. :)

[njcollegekid]

i havent used grindr, downloaded it but havent tried it. use adam4adam. working good for me so far. though there are a lot of creeps and flakes, but they are easy enough to get past.

 

[chance1]

OK. Thanks everyone, I just need to build up the confidence I guess. Has anyone got any grindr experience? I just don't want to meet up with someone and feel pressured into doing something I don't want to do.. Do you think they'll get mad at me if I say all I'll do is a blow job? I'm sorry if I'm asking stupid questions but I am 18 which is sort of innocent..

chat a bit prior to meeting - try to get a vibe/sense prior to actually meeting

both of u hopefully figure out what is expected - best to be in sync if possible - it isn't always unless u ask DIRECT questions

great thing about grindr is if u get a bad vibe u can just block and not have to worry about it

 

[Diligence]

Thank you man, I honestly thought I was just gonna get trolls on this considering my age and the use of grindr hahaha

 

[Rolyo85]

I've been using it for near two years now. I don't do anonymous hook ups, I like to get friendly with the guys I chat with. But there are some basic rules:

1. You absolutely do not - ever - have to do anything you don't want to do. That applies for your entire sex life, not just Grindr hook ups. Even if you're in bed, with their dick in your mouth, you can STILL say "you know what, no" and walk away. Anything else is rape, and you can act accordingly.

2. You should make clear what your goals are prior to meeting. Grindr is nowhere near as trashy as asshole4asshole or Manhunt, not everyone there is looking exclusively for sex, and even if that's what you're after, I strongly recommend you still chat with people, get some sense of who they are. You might even make some friends, and EVEN if you're closeted and stuff, that never hurts. But make sure people know what you're after before you meet.

3. Nobody gets angry at you for not wanting what they want. Of course, it's good if they know in advance so that they can just drop it if they aren't interested. But ultimately, you're there to get off and while it is imperative that you're always decent with others, it's none of your concern whether they're disappointed or mad or anything of the sort.

 

[Diligence]

ThanksI'll remember that I guess I just like to make people happy too much haha. I think I might try the other ones as well, but Grindr seems a lot safer, murder and AIDS wise.

 

[Durango95]

I just hear too many horror stories about web hook-ups. Nobody wants to see you get hurt kiddo. I did it for a while and had no problems. Until the last one. You know when you get that feeling that something just isn't right. I was really creeped out the whole time the guy was there. Nothing happen fortunately. I always felt like it could have, though. I never did it again....ever. That was years ago.

 

[Rolyo85]

ThanksI'll remember that I guess I just like to make people happy too much haha. I think I might try the other ones as well, but Grindr seems a lot safer, murder and AIDS wise.

As far as HIV (not AIDS, that comes after you catch HIV, and hopefully decades after) goes, there is an absolute, unbreakable rule that you CAN NOT, under ANY circumstances, break: always use protection. Whatever they want, whatever they say, however much they try to beg you or pressure you into barebacking, you do not do it. For any reason. Many guys - on Grindr and everywhere else - have this idiotic notion that if they ask the other guy, the other guy will a) be honest about his status or b) even KNOW that he has anything. So you must absolutely always assume that they don't know or could be lying. You shouldn't freak out about it either of course, but as far as you should be concerned, a condom is as essential to a hook up as your dick is.

Also, what others said - the vibe is everything. If a guy gives you a bad vibe, ignore everything else and just don't go for it. Make your friends, family and loved ones happy all you want, but with strangers, be smart

 

[chance1]

Not sure how you've ordained grindr being less sketchy than manhunt

I just think its a better app

Squares - faces - chat history - blocking - favorites

And the best - gps

Worst experiences have been guys not looking like their square

Some guys use old photos

Never had a problem other than that but I chalk that up to chat prior and getting the vibe

Now if a guy is super hot all bets r off

 

[Diligence]

Thans I guess since Most people and their grannies use grindr, it's more socially accepted ahahah. I have no problem having my first time with an older guy, but he better be a gentleman And any holes a goal lol jk. Yeah, I know i'll guess when i meet up with someone, ill ask to meet up before the deed just for a coke or coffee (non alcoholic stuffs.)

 

[Rolyo85]

Not sure how you've ordained grindr being less sketchy than manhunt

Manhunt's exclusive goal is sex. Same for a4a and others. Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and the like are more "social" in that they don't have an explicit goal. Of course, it's still used more for hook ups than for other stuff, but nowhere near as exclusively as the others.

 

[Diligence]

I love how this is turning into a whore site war hahah i'm inexperienced with them though so the more info the better

 

[Diligence]

Oh sorry quick question: Should I mention that I'm a virgin? Like on my profile?

 

[chance1]

Oh sorry quick question: Should I mention that I'm a virgin? Like on my profile?

NO !!!!

TMI in my opinion

teasing - u can do what u want but i wouldn't

 

[chance1]

Manhunt's exclusive goal is sex. Same for a4a and others. Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and the like are more "social" in that they don't have an explicit goal. Of course, it's still used more for hook ups than for other stuff, but nowhere near as exclusively as the others.

grindr is manhunt with easier access plus a gps

the website/app is what people make of it

some people think it's just for hooking up
others think its a way to meet guys for dates
it depends on the individual

 

[jensu846]

i guess i use it only for nsa hookups. as do most guys. If a guy is looking for a serious relationship on Grindr, that just seems odd and looks kinda desperate. there are real dating sites for that. dont mention youre a virgin. keep it simple. just say you want to do oral and nsa fun.

 

[Rolyo85]

grindr is manhunt with easier access plus a gps

the website/app is what people make of it

some people think it's just for hooking up
others think its a way to meet guys for dates
it depends on the individual

Manhunt has sex stats = is for sex. Grindr has only social stats + relationship stats = for whatever. That's how I view it. I've met people on Grindr exclusively for friendship. I've never heard of anyone meeting someone on Manhunt without the explicit goal of sex. Otherwise yes, it is what you make of it. Grindr allows you to make anything of it. Manhunt, and a4a - not so much. Hard to make friends with a guy whose profile picture is his gaping butthole...


Diligence - don't say it on your profile, unless your goal is the type of guy who gets off on deflowering virgins. You can insert it into the conversation if you feel it's necessary, but if your goal isn't explicitly to get fucked by an older dude, I'd recommend keeping it off your profile.

 

[chance1]

Manhunt has sex stats = is for sex. Grindr has only social stats + relationship stats = for whatever. That's how I view it. I've met people on Grindr exclusively for friendship. I've never heard of anyone meeting someone on Manhunt without the explicit goal of sex. Otherwise yes, it is what you make of it. Grindr allows you to make anything of it. Manhunt, and a4a - not so much. Hard to make friends with a guy whose profile picture is his gaping butthole...


Diligence - don't say it on your profile, unless your goal is the type of guy who gets off on deflowering virgins. You can insert it into the conversation if you feel it's necessary, but if your goal isn't explicitly to get fucked by an older dude, I'd recommend keeping it off your profile.

you've never heard ? in your vast experience?

there's a box for "dating" on MH

u really should be more careful about your opinion vs. fact

like i said - it's about the people on it - what each of THEM is looking for

grindr has LESS info - it's an app - more immediate - GPS - since people can instantly chat and be mobile - they can ask questions give info, etc.

 

[Diligence]

Does anyone know what the most obscure site there is? Like a site that no one really knows so there is now way I could get caught? Strictly NSA so it doesn't matter if it's one of those A4A.

 

[Rolyo85]

You will only get scum on the obscure sites. Adam4Adam is not "those", it's a specific site. Check it out. But if you fear getting caught that much, you should just scrap the idea and rethink where you are in life.

 

[chance1]

Does anyone know what the most obscure site there is? Like a site that no one really knows so there is now way I could get caught? Strictly NSA so it doesn't matter if it's one of those A4A.

you're WAY over-thinking it

and the idea that "no way i can get caught" is a false and dangerous premise

you can read your own post and see what a conundrum it is

take a step back - perhaps go see someone