Is it important for you to come during sex?

[saymyname]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have sex about once or twice a day. We are together about 3 or 4 days a week. Most of the time it's non-penetrative sex - occasional fingering, though. So, after a hot session of hot passionate sex (making out, blowjobs, rimming, etc.) I pretty much always come. I love blowing my load, because of how it feels, but also because of the immense flood of endorphins in my entire body after. My boyfried, on the other hand, only comes half the time, sometimes less. It worries me. He also takes a much longer time to come. Does this signify something? For those of you who don't need to shoot, can you explain why?

I am just worried it means he is not as turned on as I am, or that the sex isn't as good for him. I've asked him about it and he said it just doesn't matter to him. But I can't wrap my head around that. The only time time I didn't want to come in my sexual history was when I first started having sex, and although I didn't know it at the time, I was too timid and nervous to do it.

 

[CtBoyWonder]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have sex about once or twice a day. We are together about 3 or 4 days a week. Most of the time it's non-penetrative sex - occasional fingering, though. So, after a hot session of hot passionate sex (making out, blowjobs, rimming, etc.) I pretty much always come. I love blowing my load, because of how it feels, but also because of the immense flood of endorphins in my entire body after. My boyfried, on the other hand, only comes half the time, sometimes less. It worries me. He also takes a much longer time to come. Does this signify something? For those of you who don't need to shoot, can you explain why?

I am just worried it means he is not as turned on as I am, or that the sex isn't as good for him. I've asked him about it and he said it just doesn't matter to him. But I can't wrap my head around that. The only time time I didn't want to come in my sexual history was when I first started having sex, and although I didn't know it at the time, I was too timid and nervous to do it.

Does he "get himself" off during sex, or does he let you do it? The first time I
had sex with another guy. He couldn't get me off, I had to do it. What I realized
is that when you masturbate as much as I do your body get accustomed to
getting off yourself and when someone else tries, it's somewhat difficult.
However I learned over the years that it is perfectly acceptable to get yourself
off during sex. Notice, most gay porn it like that. I don't worry anymore
if the other guy can't get me off. If he can, great. If not, I'll do it. If you
finish yourself off the correct way, it can be a hot addition to sex.

 

[slickery]

He may be more a pleaser then you are and watching and making you get off is reward enough.

Believe me if he wasn't as into it as you were he would be concerned with getting himself first, or not getting you off at all.

 

[FabFairy]

Everyone is different so no it isn't that important to cum ever time you have sex it depends on the guy, the circumstances and what you are looking for. Some of the best sex can be just in each others company with just touching, cuddling and kissing.

 

[Zeno Lorea]

Saymyname, it sounds to me like he loves you.

 

[KaraBulut]

There are guys who are satisfied to get their partners off and don't necessarily need to come each time their partner does.

You've talked to him about it. He said that it doesn't matter to him. That's all you can do in this respect.

But the other question here is whether you're one of those guys who doesn't feel satisfied until their partner comes. If that's the issue, then that is what you need to talk to him about. Since you're having sex several times a day, maybe the solution is to agree on who gets serviced each time so that you both get something you need.

 

[Persian89]

no no no no

 

[omgitsmetoo]

I don't find it important at all. I have an extremely low sex drive, though. Most of the time I just wanna make sure the other guy has gotten off so we can get to the cuddling. ;3

 

[G-Lexington]

Is it important to me? To a degree. I obviously prefer it, so I'd prefer if it happened. But sometimes, it just isn't in the cards. I'm not horny enough, or my body's not cooperating. In which case, I'm not gonna try to "beat an orgasm out of me", as my friend used to say. I'll just concentrate on getting my partner off.

Lex

 

[Telstra]

Okay, so my boyfriend and I have sex about once or twice a day. We are together about 3 or 4 days a week. Most of the time it's non-penetrative sex - occasional fingering, though. So, after a hot session of hot passionate sex (making out, blowjobs, rimming, etc.) I pretty much always come. I love blowing my load, because of how it feels, but also because of the immense flood of endorphins in my entire body after. My boyfried, on the other hand, only comes half the time, sometimes less. It worries me. He also takes a much longer time to come. Does this signify something? For those of you who don't need to shoot, can you explain why?

I am just worried it means he is not as turned on as I am, or that the sex isn't as good for him. I've asked him about it and he said it just doesn't matter to him. But I can't wrap my head around that. The only time time I didn't want to come in my sexual history was when I first started having sex, and although I didn't know it at the time, I was too timid and nervous to do it.

No, he is as turned on as you are.
He just can't cum easily because of old age ... etc.

 

[bankside]

I'm kind of like him...
I'm not disappointed if I don't come. I really like the sex though.
Some guys get really official about holding off and they call it "edging."

For me, I don't really claim to be edging, but if I don't come I don't care because it will probably be more intense the next time.

 

[saymyname]

No, he is as turned on as you are.
He just can't cum easily because of old age ... etc.

Haha... he's 18.

Well, thanks for the replies, guys. It sounds like it's not a big deal.

 

[KyleWells]

I have to cum. If I don't it's like watching a really good movie but not watching the ending. I don't feel satisfaction about the sex until I've cummed either.

 

[saymyname]

Does he "get himself" off during sex, or does he let you do it? The first time I
had sex with another guy. He couldn't get me off, I had to do it. What I realized
is that when you masturbate as much as I do your body get accustomed to
getting off yourself and when someone else tries, it's somewhat difficult.
However I learned over the years that it is perfectly acceptable to get yourself
off during sex. Notice, most gay porn it like that. I don't worry anymore
if the other guy can't get me off. If he can, great. If not, I'll do it. If you
finish yourself off the correct way, it can be a hot addition to sex.

We're both like that - unless it's penetrative, we use our own hands, for that reason.

Sometimes he'll go down on me for so long and gets off on 'edging' me. I think he gets off on that, so yeah, I think he likes giving the pleasure. I suppose for him pleasure isn't about the orgasm - when I'm going down on him, he'll moan if I pay particular attention to his thighs, right around his balls, kissing and licking. And tonguing his pubic area - which does nothing, I suspect, for penile stimulation or coming closer to orgrasm - is his favorite.

 

[spencer]

how often did he masturbate before you guys started going out?

 

[saymyname]

Close to once a day, I think. He'd skip a day or two here and there. I'm the opposite. I usually jerk off twice a day, occasionally more.

Maybe some guys just like coming more than others. I'm always shaking after, out of breath, feel amazing. His aren't as extreme...

 

[sdmister4]

i'm kinda like that too, and the only reason it ever bothers me is cause i think it bothers the guy i'm with. truth is, i've had multiple orgasms during sex without shooting, but sometimes my body just doesnt feel like finishing off i guess. its no less pleasurable, and it doesnt mean i'm not turned on.

 

[tonyboy]

Does he "get himself" off during sex, or does he let you do it? The first time I
had sex with another guy. He couldn't get me off, I had to do it. What I realized
is that when you masturbate as much as I do your body get accustomed to
getting off yourself and when someone else tries, it's somewhat difficult.
However I learned over the years that it is perfectly acceptable to get yourself
off during sex. Notice, most gay porn it like that. I don't worry anymore
if the other guy can't get me off. If he can, great. If not, I'll do it. If you
finish yourself off the correct way, it can be a hot addition to sex.

CtBoyWonder hit the nail on the head in his response to the thread.
Yep, when you masturbate often, your brain get trained to make 'pleasure' associated with just jacking off alone. Of course the images in your mind that cause you to masturbate are included in those pathways.

If someone just gets 'off' by viewing porn he may have a tough time getting on with a real person in bed, his brain may not be able to cope with an actual person in bed.

The brain needs to develope pathways for any activity; sexual activites, sporting activites, walking, talking or thinking.

Those brain pathways are important. They take years to develope....
But as was said ^... if your partner cannot do it for you then you can do it for youself.

From what I've read though, the more you do it alone the more difficult it is to do it with a partner.