Is it normal for a guy to avoid meeting his bf's ex's?

[justanothershyguy]

I think that can be normal. But if you don't introduce them as ex's, how would he know?

For him, I'm sure it has to do with jealousy. And a fear that you might take an ex back. So if he does want you to introduce you to one, then make sure he knows there's no possibility of it (assuming there really isn't, of course...)

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I could understand it.

You seem like the type that would flirt, or allow them to, and cause drama. As I recall more then some of your threads here concern your ex's. I could see him not wanting to spend the evening/next few days in an argument over you and your ex's petty bar drama.

In general, I think it depends on the situation, maturity, and drama levels involved. I'm friends with a couple of my ex's, and I've met one of my BF's Ex's - it wasn't a big deal.

 

[Adrusek81]

It depends on how long you have been in a relationship with your current boyfriend,. Sometimes, during a relationship's early stages, there are issues with trust and faithfulness. Some people can be extremely insecure in this period and, in some cases, it takes them a long time to truly trust the person they are with - I think that talking about the situation and reassuring your current boyfriend about the genuineness of your feelings, as well as your level of commitment to the relationship you have with him, will indubitably help him to eventually overcome his jealousy.

With that said, if he has such severe issues with trust, maybe there are some underlying problems that need to be addressed between the two of you...

 

[TheLyingGame]

I can understand where he's coming from... I always feel a little weird meeting a partner's exes; it makes me feel especially jealous and territorial.

Omg. This. I instantly hate them. Don't matter how nice they are...

 

[Scealle]

I think it's pretty normal. For me it depends. But for most guys that I know even though they are str8, they still wouldn't want to bump into their ex's. Usually it gets really awkward.

 

[frankfrank]

I would generally assume that my partner's Ex was a very cool and fun person, unless I'm already told otherwise - because the person I will be with would indeed be a good/fun/cool person. I would assume that my partner wouldn't have chosen a horrible scumbag of a person who would eventually become his Ex (perhaps because of these traits).

I could not possibly be jealous, under normal circumstances, because that Ex changed my partner's lifeline and time line, and had some influence in my partner's evolution into a person who I would currently love. I am NOT counting a situation where he is still carrying on something like a relationship with the Ex, though, which likely would make me feel otherwise. As long as my partner is devoted to me - or perhaps it's a "one-rung-down-the-ladder" relationship which is an open one and also more of an open relationship - it would be cool.

If not for a partner's Ex, it is rather possible that we would have never met, and/or without the effects of the Ex on his way of life it would be possible we wouldn't have gotten along.

Of course, since I don't have a partner, some of these thoughts are only what I assume to be true, and how I'd react.

 

[dpnice]

If you are in a relationship, no matter how recent, you really should be secure enough in each other to cope with seeing one of his exs. If you are not then it would seem to me that you already have problems.

Mind you 4 of them in one night is a little excessive for anyone to have to cope with at the beginning of a relationship? I think the movie outing was a sensible compromise on your part. At least it showed that you were capable of taking his feelings into account.

 

[jaysizzles]

I'm not sure if I'm rooting for your bf's feelings on this topic to be ruled, by the masses here, as "normal" or abnormal. Obviously you don't think his feelings are "normal", otherwise you wouldn't have posed the question, and he likely feels justified in his stance. I'll tell ya, if I ever found out my bf was asking a bunch of strangers whether or not my feelings were "normal"...I'd be pissed.

Please keep us posted on the get together with your ex this week, without the bf...and how well that went over with him.

 

[racer2438]

He more insecure than anything else, he is with you not the ex's....he might need to put on his big boy pants..

 

[swerve]

I would WANT to go and meet ALL of my BF's Ex's!!!

I've never worried about whether or not I was normal, however...

 

[Kahaih]

Honestly, I don't think any guy should ever look forward to meeting his boyfriend's exes.

But to go out of his way to ask and shy away in fear... he seems like kind of a wimp to me. He needs to man up something serious.

If I remember correctly, in a thread concerning open relationships, the author of this thread told us that he keeps asking his current partner for permission to have sex with other guys.

 

[Beachguyj]

It's not a very mature thing to do. If you are on friendly or civil terms with your exes it seems weird that your bf would be so freaked out about meeting them.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, my ex wants to go out with me sometime this week. Obviously, my bf won't come along LOL.

Of course not LOL!

Lex

 

[The Fly]

I have never been jealous/hesitant to meet, or spend time around an ex's ex. They're an ex for a reason. Maybe the initial attraction faded, they had personality conflicts, whatever, it's the past. It doesn't mean they're bad people.
If your boyfriend doesn't want to be around your ex's there's one or more reasons;
He doesn't trust them
He doesn't trust you
He trusts you not to cheat, but doesn't like the way you have/will interact with/around your ex's.
You've asked him on numerous occasions if he would mind you messing around with some other guy....how should he feel walking into a room with multiple men he knows you've slept with?
He's not being unreasonable.

 

[justanothershyguy]

^ I don't think it's the compatibility that people get jealous of. I think it's closer to the fact that they likely had sex with them. It's an overreaction in my book, but still. You see them as what they were, not what they are.