Hi guys! 
I'm new here, but I've been a lurker for awhile. This is a little embarrassing, but lately I've been having some problems and I was hoping you guys might have some advice for me.
To start, I'm 22 and in good health, so I don't think that's the cause of anything. A couple of years ago (when I was 19/20), I used to love bottoming. I had a few regular hook-ups who were all on the average side (5/6 inches) and it always felt great. However, I would never stay hard. I've read through the posts on that problem, so I know that's rather normal.
Then I went through a little bit of a dry spell with guys. I would still masturbate and do oral every now and then, but not any anal. Then, in June of last year, I met who I thought was an amazing guy. He was always very sexual and flirty in the beginning, but he said he wanted to wait to have sex because whenever he does, he immediately wants nothing else to do with the guy he slept with. Now, he has bipolar disorder, which also means he was HYPER sexual and often disconnected.
Long story short, we dated for a couple weeks, it was wonderful, then we finally did it. He was a little bigger (7/8inches) and really rough, and I hated every second of it. I couldn't wait for it to end. What I thought was weird though was that I used to love it when guys would be rougher with me.
After that, he wanted me to be his boyfriend. I accepted because I still thought he was a great guy and that we could work through sexual issues. However, he kept getting more and more insistent that we have sex all the time. I kept refusing. I found out that his last boyfriend and he had sex between 6 and 10 times a day because they had nothing else in common. It was so weird because we had a great emotional and intellectual bond, and I liked doing oral and jerking off with him, but I had no desire to ever have anal with him.
I tried topping him a couple times when he got really frustrated and told me that anal was a dealbreaker for him, but I couldn't stay hard through it. It was just an odd sensation that I didn't really get any pleasure from.
We made it 7 months, with a horrible break-up in the end (he proposed to me, then broke up with me in an email 2 days later). It took me a little while to feel comfortable enough to start dating again, but now that I am, I feel like I never want to do anal again. I've been out with a few guys and inevitably we go to the bedroom, but they never seem content with just oral and mutual masturbation. Then, when they start pressuring me, I lose my hard on and it looks like I have ED.
So, basically, my question is this: is it ok to not like anal? Are there any guys out there who would still want me if I don't want them to top me, or am I undatable now? Or better yet, WHY don't I like it anymore when I used to? I feel so frustrated and lonely. I don't understand why everything has to be about sex, and specifically anal.
I'm sorry that this was so long. Hopefully some of you guys out there might have some advice.
I'm new here, but I've been a lurker for awhile. This is a little embarrassing, but lately I've been having some problems and I was hoping you guys might have some advice for me.
To start, I'm 22 and in good health, so I don't think that's the cause of anything. A couple of years ago (when I was 19/20), I used to love bottoming. I had a few regular hook-ups who were all on the average side (5/6 inches) and it always felt great. However, I would never stay hard. I've read through the posts on that problem, so I know that's rather normal.
Then I went through a little bit of a dry spell with guys. I would still masturbate and do oral every now and then, but not any anal. Then, in June of last year, I met who I thought was an amazing guy. He was always very sexual and flirty in the beginning, but he said he wanted to wait to have sex because whenever he does, he immediately wants nothing else to do with the guy he slept with. Now, he has bipolar disorder, which also means he was HYPER sexual and often disconnected.
Long story short, we dated for a couple weeks, it was wonderful, then we finally did it. He was a little bigger (7/8inches) and really rough, and I hated every second of it. I couldn't wait for it to end. What I thought was weird though was that I used to love it when guys would be rougher with me.
After that, he wanted me to be his boyfriend. I accepted because I still thought he was a great guy and that we could work through sexual issues. However, he kept getting more and more insistent that we have sex all the time. I kept refusing. I found out that his last boyfriend and he had sex between 6 and 10 times a day because they had nothing else in common. It was so weird because we had a great emotional and intellectual bond, and I liked doing oral and jerking off with him, but I had no desire to ever have anal with him.
I tried topping him a couple times when he got really frustrated and told me that anal was a dealbreaker for him, but I couldn't stay hard through it. It was just an odd sensation that I didn't really get any pleasure from.
We made it 7 months, with a horrible break-up in the end (he proposed to me, then broke up with me in an email 2 days later). It took me a little while to feel comfortable enough to start dating again, but now that I am, I feel like I never want to do anal again. I've been out with a few guys and inevitably we go to the bedroom, but they never seem content with just oral and mutual masturbation. Then, when they start pressuring me, I lose my hard on and it looks like I have ED.
So, basically, my question is this: is it ok to not like anal? Are there any guys out there who would still want me if I don't want them to top me, or am I undatable now? Or better yet, WHY don't I like it anymore when I used to? I feel so frustrated and lonely. I don't understand why everything has to be about sex, and specifically anal.
I'm sorry that this was so long. Hopefully some of you guys out there might have some advice.
