Is it okay to be a "total bottom"? (more -- pls. read)

[JayQueer]

I have a sexuality question, and since this forum is relatively anonymous, I thought I would ask. Please don't laugh at me........I'm just a little shy & embarrassed to talk about it.

I'm 25 yrs old and I'm still a virgin (not including giving blowjobs to guys, which I have done). But I haven't had anal sex before, mostly because I see it as giving up my virginity, and I would rather save that for the man whom I want to hopefully be in a lasting relationship & marry.

For as long as I can remember, the thought of another man fucking me, or penetrating me gets me excited or aroused. But the idea of me fucking anything -- regardless of another guy, girl, transgendered person, anyone -- turns me off completely -- like, I even lose my erection thinking about that. I guess I do have a somewhat submissive personality when it comes to sex, but I would just prefer to give a guy blowjobs, and let him fuck me really good.

Sometimes I feel like I have a girls' brain inside a guy's body. Before any of you suggest that I am really transgendered, I should say that I am perfectly comfortable dressing like a man and "acting" like a man in public. I have no interest in cross-dressing or wearing women's clothes, or makeup. And since I am Indian (as in India), I have body hair, which I am okay with.

When I told a couple of my gay friends, they looked at me like I was weird for not having any interest whatsoever in ever fucking another guy.

Am I normal? Or is there something wrong with me?

 

[MindBlast]

I don't like anal sex at all (either way) and there's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you either.

Normal is a weird word. If you definite it as "mathematical average" then no, you or I aren't 'normal', because we're outliers from the average. But as far as functioning without problems as the definition of normal, then yes, you are normal.

 

[AussieGuy91]

There's nothing wrong with you at all, just because you're a man doesn't mean you "have" to be both sides of sex. You like what you like it doesn't make you weird or abnormal, it just makes you, you

 

[chance1]

good post - thanks for being so honest

not easy

nothing wrong with you at all - you feel how you feel

perhaps in time that will change - you might find after experiencing sex that your desires change

for now it is a big unknown

i began my awakening thinking i would only top, never bottom - that bottoming was unnatural

topping or fucking was the norm in my mind

bottoming was what a woman did

that's not how i feel now - i actually enjoy both

all the best

 

[altlover85]

I thought I was a bottom until I actually tried it and realized it's very difficult for me to relax enough to bottom. I thought I couldn't be a top, but I tried it with my current bf and was finally able to do it. I had tried a few times before that and never could. You never know what you are capable of. Sometimes you just need to be with the right guy.

Regardless, if you don't want to fuck someone, don't. As long as you are clear about things from the outset (while perhaps being open to new experiences) you should be fine.

Good luck!

 

[Echoes]

it's completely okay, sex is not only about penetration. Nonetheless, don't shut that door, you may end up with the man you truly love and he may need you to be a top once in a while but that's another story.

 

[Tweakninja]

I don't like anal sex at all (either way) and there's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with you either.

Normal is a weird word. If you definite it as "mathematical average" then no, you or I aren't 'normal', because we're outliers from the average. But as far as functioning without problems as the definition of normal, then yes, you are normal.

Beautiful MindBlast.

Everyone pretty much covered it, I guess but here is my 2 cents.
I've only topped... maybe once or twice. I'm a bottom, what I can say, absolutely nothing. You are who you are.

 

[xKMANx]

That's normal. Both my partner and I are tops, but we've grown to be versatile. I would have never in a million years dreamed of being fucked (total turnoff), after bottoming for the frist time with him I did rellly enjoy it.

What ever get you off is key. Everyone loves bottoms, don't worry

 

[TX-Beau]

Hmmm, if you grow up in certain types of cultures, there are cultural implications embedded in the distinction between penetrator, and penetrated – and what that means about someone’s masculinity, you sound like you’ve got some of that baggage.

Being on bottom doesn’t mean submissive, submissive – like all sexual types of power play is in your mind, and while I have been with guys who wanted to be dominated, my favorite kind of bottom is always the aggressive demanding one with the filthy mouth. I fucking love a guy who wants it, and wants it now, and isn‘t afraid to demand it.

Myself, I do not like to bottom, I firmly believe that I was born without a prostate. I find it uncomfortable, painful, and awkward. However, if I care about the guy and that’s what he wants, I’ll do it for him.

See that’s me, we’re all different, at some point you’ll run into a guy like me who’s perfectly compatible with what you want.

Whatever that may be.

Frankly I suspect you'll find a lot more exclusive bottoms than you will exclusive tops.