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Is it okay to sleep around?

dkj32224

dkj32224

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Is it better to go into a relationship with a lot of experience in the sex department and risk possibly coming off as a slut or with little to no sexaul experiences and not knowing how to do things like bottom and suck dick well and possibly frustrate your partner? For you guys who say somewhere in the middle, how many guys (hook ups) is too many? Is there a right amount? Not having enough experience has worked to my disadvantage in past, just curious as to what I should do. I dont want to be a slut but I want to be good in bed...
 
I think it is possible to get good in bed with one guy. Get good together. Dunno - it seems variety is more important to you than exclusivity?

It is okay to sleep around, but depends why. For better sex? No guarantees of that. You could be wasting your time on a lot of awkward bad hook ups with strangers.

Also, a Dildo can teach you probably more about bottoming comfortably than another guy who may or may not know what he's doing.

And what is your goal? A good strong relationship with lots of good sex? Do you see yourself in a monogamous relationship or an open relationship or??
 
Sounds like you really don't want to. So don't. If guy in question can't compromise with your otherwise willing self, then it's not meant to be..
 
bankside said:
It is okay to sleep around, but depends why. For better sex? No guarantees of that. You could be wasting your time on a lot of awkward bad hook ups with strangers.
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It makes you appreciate the good ones when they do show up. Then...you'll stick to them like cum...I meant glue. It's like dating :lol:

On a serious note: get to know the person first before taking his pants off. Sex is a lot better when you have a positive emotional connection with the other person. Then practice! practice! practice!!! :D
 
If your inexperience frustrates your partner, he is not much of a partner, is he? There is more to a relationship than being good in bed. How is your heart toward your man? Is it tender, loving, true? Can you laugh together and be playful with each other, like boys and not just sex partners? Can you communicate and share things openly and honestly? Do you dare be vulnerable with each other? Can you trust him with your heart? When you are tempted to make sex the focus of a relationship, think on these things.
 
IMO, if you are hungry for dick like it was the last one on earth.. you need no experience.

But hey don't let society put pressure on you to settle down. It's your body after all...
 
Since we're on the subject, why is it that str8 guys are virtually never referred to as sluts even when they sleep around (or claim to sleep around) a lot?

Sexually adventurous women or gay men are "sluts" but str8 guys are "studs" or "casanovas" etc.
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Because most straight men have to work to get laid. You have to get the girl drinks, talk her up, possibly take her on a few dates (ugh) and then, even if everything goes perfect, you still might not get laid. For women, all they have to do is ask a guy if they want to fuck and if they're at least average looking (or even a little below average depending on how many times they've struck out that night) they guy will say yes 99.99999999% of the time. The same goes for gay men because men like to have sex and when you've got 2 of them there isn't likely to be a whole lot of "no" going on.

This of course assumes you're in a place where people normally hook up (bars, clubs, etc).
 
Being "good in bed" is not your responsibility alone, it's about the interaction between you and your partner. If the sex doesn't seem good enough, perhaps it isn't because of your seeming "inexperience" but because the "chemistry" just isn't there. Don't have sex just to have sex. Have sex because the guy is hot and you're dying to get him naked and into bed. Don't worry about how often or how little it happens. And if happens a lot, think of yourself not as a slut but as a stud. Even if it doesn't happen a lot think of yourself as a stud.
 
It's almost like you are trying to script a relationship. You don't know what will turn into a relationship and what won't. So, you date and have sex when it seems mutual. My partner and I had a lot of previous experience but we still had things to teach one another and found things we had never done.

I think it best when the couple is evenly matched, but you never know. Love seems to throw logic out the window at times. After a certain age don't most people expect a little experience? Just make sure it's mutual and safe.
 
My roommate always says that a slut is anyone who has sex more than you (a convenient definition for both he and I, I should add!).
 
sleeping around has worked for me so far... not only did i learn a lot of fun 'things' i wouldnt have thought of myself, not only did i build a more confident and relaxed attitude towards sex, not only does it keep me from getting bitter and frustrated and desperate... but i also met a truly wonderful man that way with whom i had a beautiful relationship.

so, sleep around! except if you dont want to. then dont.
 
Yes it is okay to have recreational sex as long as you;re doing it for enjoyment and not to validate yourself, or fill some other void in your life.

You can make a lot of good friends along the way.
 
I'm certainly not conservative but, I think you should be careful about sex. Having more than a couple partners in your lifetime is totally acceptable. But you should at least know them. Don't just hook up with any hot guy in a bar.

If for no other reason, all the STI's out there should make you want to be careful about who you have sex with. And how many people you have sex with. I know a lot of people want to downplay it these days, but until you work with an AIDS clinic you don't realize how many people are sick, miserable, and still getting infected every year...

That said, you really should enjoy yourself. Know who you are playing with, play safe, and have fun!
 
There is a real risk that sleeping around can entice us into a loving relationship with a passing trick whom we thought was just perfect for a one off.

That's a pay off that the promiscuous person rarely caters for. When it happens, sleeping around ceases to be an attraction, for our thoughts are focused solely on one man.
 
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