Is it time?

[kindel89]

I have just come to term with my sexuality i have been battling with myself deciding if i was bi or gay, but i find my self searching for gay porn than any thing, i feel that i should tell my sister and my mom who i really am since i am so super close to them and love them so much that they deserve to know who i really am, every time i tell myself im gonna tell them i always end up chickening out and walk the other way, yesterday i was gonna tell my sister but just ended up just sitting on her bed silent with lots of things going on in my head. i do want to tell them but i just dont know when is a good time, or if there is a good time....

 

[Ganoderma]

hi Kindel89,

I have no idea about your age (not indicated on your profile), but I tend to answer you 'Yes, it is now time to tell your mom & sis that you are gay'.

You tell us you are very close with your mom and sis. I would not be too surprized that both might already have some ideas about your sexual orientation. Do you have experience with 'girlfriends', are they aware that you have some sort of history with 'girls' / dating girls etc?

Somehow, its always tough to find the right moment. You might start to tell your sister 'I want to tell you something important' (or words like that). Maybe she will start to ask questions to you? And then you must give the answer ('I want to tell you that I am gay').

I tend to give you the advice that it is good that you tell this to them. You feel comfortable about your own sexual orientation, and its logic that your mom and sis are aware of this.

Telling them is your next step, and will make it much easier for you to tell them about alot of other things as well (eg about a boyfriend, or about some of your gay friends, or going to a gay club etc.).

So good luck, and keep us informed.

Best wishes.

 

[kindel89]

well im 22, and the advice is very helpful once i did tell my sis that i needed to tell her something, and she said what and i was like um never mind, said it like 3 times. i did have like 3 girlfriends in my past but didnt last for no more than a month i think i kinda knew when i was younger that i like boys

 

[Seasoned]

You'll be ready when the fear of telling them is less than the fear they'll never really know who you are. Good luck and best wishes.

 

[JoeyFromTexas]

You seem to have already answered your own question. (You have, after all, already attempted to come out to your sister a few times.) It is just a matter of summoning enough courage to tell them who you really are.

It is okay to have chickened out. Coming out can be scary. For that reason, it is okay to take your time. The important thing is that you have come to accept yourself for who you really are.

 

[kindel89]

thanks for all the support and good advice, ima attempt to tell my sister today when she wakes up, hearing all ur advice have given me some courage hopefully its enough to tell her

 

[kindel89]

i just told my sister and my mom, my sister was really accepting telling me she loves me no matter what, and my mom it felt different she told me that she was okay with it that the thing shes worried about is in todays society gays arent treated right so she was worried about the way ppl would treat me, then she kept asking if i was sure and how did i know it was kinda hard to explain that i liked penis not vagina,then she said something that came off to me like if she was obligated to accept me she said the im her son so she has to love me gay or straight it was kinda awkward with my mom iunno if its because our religion or iunno what but it just doesn't feel the same, i think ima hold out on telling my dad hes a bit different then my mom and sister a little hard headed machismo person dont think im ready for his answer yet...

 

[Delphi124]

Glad you were able to work up the nerve to tell them. Great to hear your sister took it so well. Give your mom some time to deal with it. It isn't easy for parents who have grown up with conservative beliefs to change their perspectives. From the way she responded to you already, it sounds like she will come around soon enough. Probably not a bad idea to wait a bit to come out to your dad, you will know when it is time to do it.

 

[Elwood]

Congratulations! Over all sounds like it went well.

 

[Rolyo85]

Congrats, man Telling the parents is the hardest part. If your mom was ok, I'm sure your dad will be too.

 

[kindel89]

after i told my sis and mom i felt like i was gonna throw up and was super nervious, but now i feel really good and feel like i can finally be me never felt btr. thanks for the support guys ill keep ya updated if or when i tell my dad still thinking about it

 

[JoeyFromTexas]

Congrats on telling your mom and sister. That was very courageous of you.

Give your mom some time, though. Parents often have this idea in their heads of who their children are going to be when they are older, and when one of them comes out as gay, parents sometimes experience this huge, sometimes jolting shift in the reality of things. She will come around, though. If anything, you know that you have an ally in your sister no matter what.

 

[Ganoderma]

(...) now i feel really good and feel like i can finally be me never felt btr. thanks for the support guys (...)

hi Kindel89,

You are welcome. Congratulated that you had the guts to tell your mom and sister. I tend to agree with others that you just have to give your mom some time to get used to this new situation. Apparently (?), your mom had never thought that you might be not straight?

Anyway, you feel really good right now and you are now starting a new chapter in your life. No need to pretend anymore you (= male of 22) are 'straight, single, and still looking around for a girlfriend'.

Take care, have a nice weekend, and feel free to post an update or ask other questions.

 

[kindel89]

ahaha yea i asked both my sister and mom if they ever thought that i was gay at some point they said yea but didnt think anything of it, yea i have been single for to long im ready to be in a relationship no more lies