is it wrong?

[honooryuu]

ok so heres the situation. my ex girlfriend and i broke up in september. she still had clothes in my dorm room, and i kept on telling her that she needed to come and get them. she kept on telling me that she would eventually get them. we also shared a storage unit up until yesterday. she told me that now that her stuff was out of the storage unit, she wanted to come get her clothes and stuff. well i told her that i had gotten rid of her clothes about 3 weeks ago.

she got very upset with me, and started accusing me of making her "disposable" so i hung up on her. she then left me a very "pleasant" voicemail saying that im lucky shes not taking me to small claims court and such, and that i should have put the stuff in the storage unit for her to get.

so anyway, what would you have done in this situation? should i have acted differently? and should i feel guilty for tossing her shit?

 

[PhoenixRising]

My opinion, you gave her ample notice. Its her fault she didn't come (or send someone) to get them.

 

[pancake]

well it wasnt the nicest thing to do... but since you gave her warning to pick them up then you cant really be blamed... its her fault i guess

how much clothing was it? and how expensive were they? if you threw out her moms wedding dress or something than yeah, that would be pretty douchey , lol.

 

[honooryuu]

no wedding dresses or anything like that. there were a couple pairs of jeans and an few shirts from cato. and i think one of her corsets from hot topic.

 

[1091MAC]

You gave her SIX months to get her stuff. That is more than reasonable. If she did not use or want to see the items mentioned above in that time, then they must not have been that special to her.

If she brings up the small claims court issue again, tell her she is lucky that you did not charge her a storage fee. I cannot imagine any judge hearing this case other than Judge Judy and she would tell your ex-girlfriend to grow up and get a life.

Chances are she is just upset because it is more evidence that the relationship is truly over and the clothes really are a minor, superficial matter.

 

[Hellhathnofury]

I knew you would rant about this here. Youre so predictable. Thats another reason we're not together.

Ah but what youre forgetting in the story here is how I loaned you more than the worth of the clothing. Money that you never paid back for your loans so you wouldnt default. How about how you spent 6 months living at my parents house rent free because you had no where to go? Or that at the end of that 6 months, because you hadnt saved up a dime, it was ME who paid your security deposit so you could have a place to go? Or that when it was time for you to move out of said apartment, it was me who was there cleaning your filth that you left everywhere while you chilled in your new cozy dorm room.

Clothing is expensive, and Im sorry I didnt come get them sooner- but I was busy making honors and trying to deal with the fact that the person I was going to marry cheated on me with someone he met on the internet. I was a little depressed- sorry about that. You knew I was cleaning my stuff out, and you had no right to throw anything of mine away. You were moving people in and out of the storage unit that we went halfs on without my consent or my knowledge. You gave me no notice, and the only reason I didnt go berzerk then was because it was your brother and I actually knew him.

So- you know when you went to the storage unit and you scattered my things all about and dumped my books out- you could have at least put the clothes (which would have been SO EASY) in the unit while you were rooting through my things.

And you know-its not even really about the clothing. Its about principle. I didnt mess with anything of yours. The only thing of yours that i even defaced was a form of yours that had my SSN# on it and I blacked it out.

Thats why you posted this "question of morality" here where no one knows you and not somewhere where people who actually knew us and the situation could see it because you KNOW that youre full of shit and you KNOW youre wrong. How does it feel to have your bullshit called out?

By the way- expect a subpoena. Im taking you to court unless you pay me what you owe me for my possessions that you tossed out. I figure, a corset- about 50 dollars (and thats being VERY liberal because if I remember correctly- that corset cost me 70) about three pairs of jeans at about 35 dollars each and what, two shirts? at about eh..ill go cheap and say about 15 dollars each. so lets see that makes that bill out to be about...185 dollars. I should also charge you rent for when you were staying here- but lets not be petty, shall we?

So yeah either pay that or pay court costs. Take your chances in court and its a lose lose situation for you. If I win- you have to pay court costs PLUS what you owe me- and trust me If i take you to court it WONT be as little as 185 dollars. If I lose (and I have a VERY strong case) youre still out work time or school time. So its your decision. Ill relay this to you when I see you on campus today as well.

You have two weeks to decide.

 

[Hellhathnofury]

You gave her SIX months to get her stuff. That is more than reasonable. If she did not use or want to see the items mentioned above in that time, then they must not have been that special to her.

If she brings up the small claims court issue again, tell her she is lucky that you did not charge her a storage fee. I cannot imagine any judge hearing this case other than Judge Judy and she would tell your ex-girlfriend to grow up and get a life.

Chances are she is just upset because it is more evidence that the relationship is truly over and the clothes really are a minor, superficial matter.

Honey it was me that broke up with him, not the other way around. And I was paying half of the storage unit- its not like I got that for free. I was giving him money all the time so he could make bills and a lot of the time, it was never paid back.

And trust me- Im not sad or depressed because the relationship is "finally over"- Im with someone new now and he's a hell of a lot better than what I put up with for 7 years.

 

[Rex]

Why DIDN'T you put it in the storage unit?

Oh well.

I knew you would rant about this here. Youre so predictable. Thats another reason we're not together.

Ah but what youre forgetting in the story here is how I loaned you more than the worth of the clothing. Money that you never paid back for your loans so you wouldnt default. How about how you spent 6 months living at my parents house rent free because you had no where to go? Or that at the end of that 6 months, because you hadnt saved up a dime, it was ME who paid your security deposit so you could have a place to go? Or that when it was time for you to move out of said apartment, it was me who was there cleaning your filth that you left everywhere while you chilled in your new cozy dorm room.

Clothing is expensive, and Im sorry I didnt come get them sooner- but I was busy making honors and trying to deal with the fact that the person I was going to marry cheated on me with someone he met on the internet. I was a little depressed- sorry about that. You knew I was cleaning my stuff out, and you had no right to throw anything of mine away. You were moving people in and out of the storage unit that we went halfs on without my consent or my knowledge. You gave me no notice, and the only reason I didnt go berzerk then was because it was your brother and I actually knew him.

So- you know when you went to the storage unit and you scattered my things all about and dumped my books out- you could have at least put the clothes (which would have been SO EASY) in the unit while you were rooting through my things.

And you know-its not even really about the clothing. Its about principle. I didnt mess with anything of yours. The only thing of yours that i even defaced was a form of yours that had my SSN# on it and I blacked it out.

Thats why you posted this "question of morality" here where no one knows you and not somewhere where people who actually knew us and the situation could see it because you KNOW that youre full of shit and you KNOW youre wrong. How does it feel to have your bullshit called out?

By the way- expect a subpoena. Im taking you to court unless you pay me what you owe me for my possessions that you tossed out. I figure, a corset- about 50 dollars (and thats being VERY liberal because if I remember correctly- that corset cost me 70) about three pairs of jeans at about 35 dollars each and what, two shirts? at about eh..ill go cheap and say about 15 dollars each. so lets see that makes that bill out to be about...185 dollars. I should also charge you rent for when you were staying here- but lets not be petty, shall we?

So yeah either pay that or pay court costs. Take your chances in court and its a lose lose situation for you. If I win- you have to pay court costs PLUS what you owe me- and trust me If i take you to court it WONT be as little as 185 dollars. If I lose (and I have a VERY strong case) youre still out work time or school time. So its your decision. Ill relay this to you when I see you on campus today as well.

You have two weeks to decide.

Wait a minute. What the fuck?

Daammnnn home girl stalked his ass on JUB. Is this a joke?

If not, you go girl. lol Are you single now? You sound hot.

 

[Hellhathnofury]

Why DIDN'T you put it in the storage unit?

Oh well.



Wait a minute. What the fuck?

Daammnnn home girl stalked his ass on JUB. Is this a joke?

If not, you go girl. lol

Not a joke. This is the site I stumbled upon when I found out he cheated on me back during the summer. I had a feeling he would pose such a question here because he is so very predictable. Also, he would never do this on facebook or myspace because all of our friends are pissed and are on my side with this because they know how full of shit he is. Oh well

 

[Rex]

Not a joke. This is the site I stumbled upon when I found out he cheated on me back during the summer. I had a feeling he would pose such a question here because he is so very predictable. Also, he would never do this on facebook or myspace because all of our friends are pissed and are on my side with this because they know how full of shit he is. Oh well

I love you. I hope you become a regular here.

 

[Hellhathnofury]

I love you. I hope you become a regular here.

awww <3 well I already kinda was. Im gay friendly. lol. I was mainly a lurker though.

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

And the moral of the story is women are doormats until they become psycho cyber-stalkers.

She gave you everything your worthless ass wanted and now she's turned into some Glen Close wannabe. Lesson learned.

Only date men. They don't wear corsets, they don't notice when their clothes are missing and when they discover you "cheating" they just drop their pants and pile on.

 

[screwnutty]

awww <3 well I already kinda was. Im gay friendly. lol. I was mainly a lurker though.

Hello! It's good to have you aboard! You give it to him girl! This is the price a guy deserves to pay when he thinks he can play mental games with the ones who love him. I'm glad to see you stand up and make him be responsible for his actions. You have so much of my respect girl! Good for you! Good for you for finding a better guy. Nobody deserves to be played or treated poorly. Gay or Straight.

And as another poster has already said...you go girl!!

 

[supergurl]

I knew you would rant about this here. Youre so predictable. Thats another reason we're not together.

Ah but what youre forgetting in the story here is how I loaned you more than the worth of the clothing. Money that you never paid back for your loans so you wouldnt default. How about how you spent 6 months living at my parents house rent free because you had no where to go? Or that at the end of that 6 months, because you hadnt saved up a dime, it was ME who paid your security deposit so you could have a place to go? Or that when it was time for you to move out of said apartment, it was me who was there cleaning your filth that you left everywhere while you chilled in your new cozy dorm room.

Clothing is expensive, and Im sorry I didnt come get them sooner- but I was busy making honors and trying to deal with the fact that the person I was going to marry cheated on me with someone he met on the internet. I was a little depressed- sorry about that. You knew I was cleaning my stuff out, and you had no right to throw anything of mine away. You were moving people in and out of the storage unit that we went halfs on without my consent or my knowledge. You gave me no notice, and the only reason I didnt go berzerk then was because it was your brother and I actually knew him.

So- you know when you went to the storage unit and you scattered my things all about and dumped my books out- you could have at least put the clothes (which would have been SO EASY) in the unit while you were rooting through my things.

And you know-its not even really about the clothing. Its about principle. I didnt mess with anything of yours. The only thing of yours that i even defaced was a form of yours that had my SSN# on it and I blacked it out.

Thats why you posted this "question of morality" here where no one knows you and not somewhere where people who actually knew us and the situation could see it because you KNOW that youre full of shit and you KNOW youre wrong. How does it feel to have your bullshit called out?

By the way- expect a subpoena. Im taking you to court unless you pay me what you owe me for my possessions that you tossed out. I figure, a corset- about 50 dollars (and thats being VERY liberal because if I remember correctly- that corset cost me 70) about three pairs of jeans at about 35 dollars each and what, two shirts? at about eh..ill go cheap and say about 15 dollars each. so lets see that makes that bill out to be about...185 dollars. I should also charge you rent for when you were staying here- but lets not be petty, shall we?

So yeah either pay that or pay court costs. Take your chances in court and its a lose lose situation for you. If I win- you have to pay court costs PLUS what you owe me- and trust me If i take you to court it WONT be as little as 185 dollars. If I lose (and I have a VERY strong case) youre still out work time or school time. So its your decision. Ill relay this to you when I see you on campus today as well.

You have two weeks to decide.

Oooh Naw! Yes! YES!!!!!

GURL I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT I LIKE YOUR STYLE BITCH! LOVE... LOVE..... LOVE!!!!!!!

 

[pancake]

whoa, shit just got real

 

[alley]

She left her stuff in his dorm room for six months--sorry not much of a case there. Not his duty to put the crap in their shared storage unit. The whole relationship problems have nothing to do with whether not he should have kept her belongings for months on end---she abandoned the stuff.

 

[Alpha1851]

Hey Hellhathnofury! Welcome to JUB!

 

[honooryuu]

I guess he'll be having this thread locked or his account deleted soon..?

nope.

it is what it is. if she wants to lurk, stalk, or whatever. its all good.

c'est la vie

 

[Alpha1851]

Interesting point. Where's Alpha when we need her legal expertise?


Anyone want to say something on the record?

Evidence of what? That she loaned him money? That he failed to pay her back? The amount of money she loaned? That he threw her clothes away? The value of the clothes? That he gave her 6 months warning before throwing it out? Do you anticipate that one or the other of them will lie at trial about the circumstance, so you intend to use this thread to impeach the latter court testimony?

In court you don't just start presenting evidence. Each side would tell their story. You'd only need this type of evidence to prove one or the other was lying. You'd use the evidence to impeach them. For example, if this were you and me. You would claim that you loaned Alpha1851 5k for school and that I had not paid you back. You'd testify that I knew it was loan, not a gift. If I then testified that you had not loaned me any money at all ( or that you did give me 5k but that it was a gift b/c you love me so much) then you could try to bring in our written communications (this thread) to impeach my testimony. Show the crt that I'm lying. If I admit under oath that the 5k was a loan and that I have not yet paid you back, you can't present the evidence on that matter. You have no need to corroborate your story.

I'll tell ya, some judges do let internet stuff come in b/c technology is rapidly changing and more and more folks are relying on the net for communications. Some judges will throw it out b/c it isn't necessarily dependable (someone could've made up a fake account for you or cracked your real account). It depends on the judge, what the evidence is being used for (what are you trying to prove to the jury by showing them this thread; is it even relevant?), among other things.

Now for my ever ready disclaimer: this is not my expert opinion by any means. I do not hand out legal advice over the net. I am not anyone's atty on here and no reasonable person would rely on the information I've given to support their case.

 

[metta]

I don't understand why you chose to throw it away instead of putting it in the storage unit which you were both paying for. You had a better option there.