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Is my friend straight?

W

WhoKnows

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Hello :wave:,

I started college (different to what you yanks call college) about a year and a half ago, since then I became friends with a friend of a friend, I knew him whilst at school but never really talked, rarely saying a word to each other in the 5 years there. Anyways since college started we found ourselves hanging around each other, at the start due to our mutual friend but since then we have became good friends.

We've grew closer over the last few months and I found myself attracted to him. About a month ago he started sending me loads more texts than usual, every night he sends me a couple and if i don't respond (normally because i've ran out of credit) he sends me another asking if i'm ok or if he is annoying me. He has also started adding "x"'s on the end of the texts. There are hints he may be gay, but nothing obvious.

Is there anything here, or am I just seeing what i want to see?
 
Text him back that you couldn't reply earlier because you were masturbating. See what he texts back. LOL
 
what does the "x's" indicate? i've never heard of that? usually its XOXO, which is hugs and kisses, but maybe he's just doing the straight guy thing and giving you hugs? lol
 
Sorry I was pretty brief with why there are hints he is gay:

- since knowing him he has not had a girlfriend (everytime anyone has tried to set him up, he makes an excuse)
- whenever the topic of homosexuality comes about he attempts to change the subject
- in my general studies lesson we the lecturer came onto the topic of homosexuality and he went a bit red and asked if he could go to the toilet
- and finally some of the girlfriends of the friends in our group think he is gay (originally they thought he was with another friend, but i know for certain the other friend is straight)
 
he wants you to help him out of his fear of himself. do so in a very discrete manner, as to not completely upset him, but be sure he knows you're only trying to help him. it doesn't have to be a sexual thing; it usually takes a bit of discussion to get someone to accept the fact that they're telling someone else about themselves.
 
fireside said:
he wants you to help him out of his fear of himself. do so in a very discrete manner, as to not completely upset him, but be sure he knows you're only trying to help him. it doesn't have to be a sexual thing; it usually takes a bit of discussion to get someone to accept the fact that they're telling someone else about themselves.
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any tips on what to do?
 
drhladnjak said:
Does he know that you're gay? Coming out to him might be a good opening.
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he doesn't at the minute. Not sure if he suspects I am, I haven't been with a girlfriend for about a year, mainly due to me being confused with my sexuality so I didn't want to lead anyone on into a longterm relationship then bail. I have contemplated telling him, but one of my other mates once asked him if he was gay, in a jokey manner and he told him to fuck off and went in a huff
 
FWIW, his reaction would more likely indicate that he's gay (or certainly questioning) than straight. Any guy who was sure about being straight would unequivocally proclaim his straightness when asked point blank.

You shouldn't ask him and put him on the defensive though. Instead, you should come out to him. Not having a girlfriend for a year means nothing wrt somebody's sexuality. Plenty of straight guys don't have girlfriends for long periods of time. By letting him know you're gay, you put the ball in his court. Perhaps he's looking for sex or a relationship with a guy, but most likely he probably really could just use a friend he can be open with about his sexuality (or questioning thereof).
 
drhladnjak said:
Does he know that you're gay? Coming out to him might be a good opening.
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I agree with that post.

if you are confused with your sexuality, mention that instead.

i do not know if it is a good beginning to tell him that u r attracted too...Anyway you can see how it will go and then decide but

try to come out to him.
 
drhladnjak said:
Does he know that you're gay? Coming out to him might be a good opening.
Click to expand...
was round his today getting some work done and basically said to him that i am confused about my sexuality and could do with someone to talk to. He reacted in a way I didn't expect, saying that did i really think he was that gullible to believe me and be forced to comeout when he is not gay. I told him that i wasn't lying but he wasn't having any of it and the convosation stopped there and i just left.

"be forced to comeout when he is not gay"

that bit confused me because it seemed to me he is contradicting himself.
 
Re: Is my friend straight?

Unknown. But I think you've established that he has issues.

It will be interesting to see what happens after he has calmed down a bit.
 
KaraBulut said:
Re: Is my friend straight?

Unknown. But I think you've established that he has issues.

It will be interesting to see what happens after he has calmed down a bit.
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yup I agree. Tried to get in touch with him tonight, but haven't been able to. Sent him a text saying "seriously I wasn't bullshitting, wanna talk just giv me a ring" I think that was the right thing to do??
 
He definitely is insecure in his sexuality and has issues. You've tried to reach out to him and he's pushed you away. You've said your peace and he knows where to find you should he come around.
 
Sounds gay. Ask him. Or, tell him you are.
 
drhladnjak said:
He definitely is insecure in his sexuality and has issues. You've tried to reach out to him and he's pushed you away. You've said your peace and he knows where to find you should he come around.
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Hardly spoke a word to me today at college, to the point where one of my friends asked what his problem was, which his reply was i don't have a fucking problem.

when we were alone after college, walking home. I said to him sumit like you're obviously not who you think you are if you are going to react like that, you're a good mate and if you need to talk just give me a ring. To which his reply was you texted that last night and i don't need to fucking talk and i am who I think I am. I just left it at that and started talking about football.

He gets angry whenever it is mentioned, dunno what to do. (You may be thinking this guy is a complete twat, but he only reacts like that to this otherwise he is a belter fella)
 
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