Is my Gaydar broken or what?

[DenimKnight]

Here goes,

Someone who is my type in every single way has been flirting with me for weeks now, he's been sitting on my lap, talking about the things he could do to me, has a music video that has naked men on his phone and so forth. The tone he uses whenever he says these things and does these things is comedic, I haven't come out to him, which makes it even harder for me to work out what's going on.

There is one big problem that makes me feel guilty, he is engaged.. to a woman! Albeit a manly looking woman [which makes me think he might like men].

Yesterday we were walking to a bus stop, he wrapped an arm around me in a very affectionate way, I slapped his ass and he seemed to like it.

I don't plan on doing anything with him, even though every urge is screaming to do so, due to the whole.. ENGAGED thing and my Gaydar goes through an ordeal when he is around.

 

[techie70]

Denim - what if anything have you said to him when these things happen? Gaydar is only so accurate. I've known people in this situation you describe that are engaged for convenience. Meaning to fool other people. Sometimes though I have been as cofounded as you. So based on your situation just ask. Be tactful though .....

 

[KaraBulut]

Someone who is my type in every single way has been flirting with me for weeks now, he's been sitting on my lap, talking about the things he could do to me, has a music video that has naked men on his phone and so forth. The tone he uses whenever he says these things and does these things is comedic, I haven't come out to him, which makes it even harder for me to work out what's going on.

There are a bunch of straight guys who do these sorts of teasing behaviors. Usually it's done with guys they think are straight but won't get offended, usually in a public place and quite often, there's alcohol involved.

If it makes you uncomfortable, take him aside and have a talk with him.

If you're fine with it, then just chalk it up to a straight guy who lets off some pink steam by playing these games with male friends- which allows him to have the cake, see the cake, taste the cake, touch the cake yet never have to actually be considered a cake-eater.

 

[DenimKnight]

I think you're right Kara, and I am not uncomfortable at all, I enjoy it. At least I can have a degree of fun with this guy for the time being. If he turns out to be a cake-eater, then he'll me my cake-eater

 

[AlmondMilk]

If a guy who was my type just sat on my lap, I don't know if I'd be able to resist putting my arms around him o.o

I guess gaydar needs an upgrade?

 

[Rolyo85]

But you ARE uncomfortable. You are here, posting a topic, being uncertain. That shows you're uncomfortable. He knows you're gay, and still tease you.

This could be anywhere between him being totally gay and in the closet, and totally straight and teasing his gay friend. The latter is kinda unfriendly to my mind, but if you're ok with it...

 

[TX-Beau]

Back when I was a young gay slut puppy about town, I sucked off one of my brother’s friends at his bachelor party. There was strippers, dollar bills, lap dances, booze, rampant straight horninees, loosened morals, and artificially lowered inhibitions – and yeah, I swallowed his cock in a bathroom.

It was just a drunken sloppy blowjob, I was not crushing on this guy – he was not my ideal, he was just….horny and inebriated and there.

Why am I telling you this? Because the next day there was guilt, remorse, confession, and a shrieking bride pounding down my door, and my friend - that's never pleasant.

Don’t ever fuck with someone else’s fiancée – I don’t care what you may think or suspect. His bride is a person with feelings that you need to respect. You know nothing about their relationship; it’s rude to go there, inconsiderate, and just plain bad manners.

WALK AWAY FROM THE CRAZY!

 

[Ganoderma]

I haven't come out to him, which makes it even harder for me to work out what's going on.

There is one big problem that makes me feel guilty, he is engaged.. to a woman! Albeit a manly looking woman [which makes me think he might like men].

I don't plan on doing anything with him, even though every urge is screaming to do so, due to the whole.. ENGAGED thing and my Gaydar goes through an ordeal when he is around.

hi DenimKnight,

Pfoeh, tough question. So your profile tells me that you are 18 and not yet out to him (but out to some of your other friends). I was wondering about his age. How old is he? Since how long does he has this girlfriend?

And how about telling him that you are gay? Why not tell him the next time when he, eg,
* wrapps an arm around you in a very affectionate way, or
* sits on your lap, or
* shows you on his phone a music video that has naked men on it,

something like 'excuse me very much, but are you aware that I am gay?'


I tend to think that this will clarify alot. Any valid reason why not tell him that you are gay? So just open yourself to him (you don't have to hide anything, do you?) and just see how his reaction will be. So not ask him about his sexual orientation, but start telling abit about the real DenimKnight (= a proud gay guy).

Take care & best wishes.