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Is my hot friend interested in me?

Rex

Rex

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Have a good friend who I've known for a decade now. He is a rugged, reserved jock type of guy. We both worked at the same restaraunt many years ago and later also went into the military together. I connected back with him for a while when he first graduated from the military boot camp. Back then he knew I was bi and I told him I thought he was really good looking on Facebook, he said it was weird but he was flattered. Years later, we both out of the military now and living normal lives. He has only ever been with women to my knowledge.

We hang out every few weeks now. Went to baseball game, and have hung out at my place and his place. Usually we go out to eat. He said we should try to test every good restaraunt in the area. He's givin me a few signs he could be bisexual or curious but the biggest was this past weekend. We were sitting across from each other at a steak restaurant talking about how tired we both were and how boring our week was and he was talking about how having the beer with me was the most exciting thing he's done this week. A few times while we were drinking, I felt his foot hit mine. I thought nothing of it and just figured it was an accident bump. When he said that though, it was like "i'm exited to have this beer with ya" and then I felt his foot push against my ankle and hold for a while. I felt thrown off and looked down, kinda half smiled, it was awkward but exciting. He noticed that and let out a laugh. There was a short pause in our conversaition. Then we just went back to normal talking.

Next time we hang out, what is a good, subtle way for me to throw a signal to see if he reciprocates? I've had so many guys make moves on me and hardly ever have the balls to make the next move because I don't know how to react to stuff like this because most of my hookups have been online.
 
So he's known you are bi for many years and loves hanging out with you.
Unless the restaurant table was so small your feet hitting was unavoidable it seems to me he must have made an effort.
You know body actions and eye contact go together right?........ ;)
 
seven2go said:
So he's known you are bi for many years and loves hanging out with you.
Unless the restaurant table was so small your feet hitting was unavoidable it seems to me he must have made an effort.
You know body actions and eye contact go together right?........ ;)
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yeah he's also said we should take a trip to his parents cabin a while back, which would be really hot and probably fun but he hasn't mentioned it since

also, whenever i ask him about dating and women, he doesn't seem that interested in talking much about it. he doesn't seem all that interested in marriage or kids. there are more signs he's given me, but the foot touching was the biggest, and normally if someone hits your foot because there isn't enough space, they'll say "whoops" or "my bad" or something. He didn't say anything, I pulled my foot back after I felt his touch mine for a while because it was my natural reaction just to kill the awkwardness and he let out a small chuckle. It was super awkward but really hot and totally unexpected because he's a reserved kinda guy.
 
Capitalize on the cabin thing.
Don't ask me how I know.................................
 
It's possible he's pushing your buttons for the fun of it, but it's also possible that the Italians here are so deeply closeted that he can't come to terms with speaking it.

You're going to have to be the grownup at this point and have the open conversation. What could be so hard? He knows you're bi. He's made ambiguous gestures.

You have to seize the moment, before any alcohol is altering your clarity or his inhibitions, and say, "we've been friends all these years, and that's the most important thing, but it feels like there is something happening. Are you sending out signals that you're curious or bi? If so, I certainly understand. If not, help me understand how I'm misreading x, y, & z."
 
Pull your dick out and see what he does?
 
hitting each other's feet and laughing is gonna take forever... next time you look at him and touch your bulge.
 
Sounds like you and your friend would be a match see how it goes from their
 
PalacePaul said:
hitting each other's feet and laughing is gonna take forever... next time you look at him and touch your bulge.
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I could see that..

To the person who said "pull your dick out"

A guy i wanted has done that to me to see how I reacted and I was too nervous to just go for it, so I awkwardly just laughed it off as a joke. It might be too forward of a move but at the same time, who knows. I don't think I'd have the nerve, unless we were watching porn but that hasn't happened.
 
I can only speak for myself. I consider myself as curious, but that only applies to one good friend. We're both str8 and one night I asked him if I could kiss his neck. He pulled down his collar and I kissed him. We had a couple deep kisses and spooked each other. It took us a while to even casually talk to each other again. I don't think I'm bi, but if he's curious it would be good if you 2 could experiment with a friend. Just ask him if you can kiss his neck and see what happens. I really feel that an experiment or two does not make me gay. I would only experiment with a close friend though. Just a thought.
 
To clear the air I would ask him if he is interested in being more than friends. If he says no apologise and tell him you misinterpreted his recent actions - a strong friendship will survive any possible embarrasment
 
^It may be semantic, but I wouldn't apologize for having feelings for a close friend. I'd put it in terms of regret. You may genuinely regret misinterpreting someone else's cues or signals, but that's not a transgression to be forgiven. It's a natural behavior.

The misunderstanding is regrettable, not the interest nor the voicing of it. It's not inherently abusive, predatory, or wrong.
 
NotHardUp1 said:
^It may be semantic, but I wouldn't apologize for having feelings for a close friend. I'd put it in terms of regret. You may genuinely regret misinterpreting someone else's cues or signals, but that's not a transgression to be forgiven. It's a natural behavior.

The misunderstanding is regrettable, not the interest nor the voicing of it. It's not inherently abusive, predatory, or wrong.
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More a case of apologising if any offence is caused
 
I would just flirt back with him if he drops hints drop them right back at him. If he touches you touch him back.

I used to work with a guy i swore up and down he's bisexual. He would flirt with me so much and always touched me and i did the same right back to him. I remember we pose for a group selfie and of course he slightly bent over and had his ass right against my crotch i was hard and i'm sure he felt it. I had my hands on both his hips like i was mounting him. He never said anything.
 
USEDCAR said:
I would just flirt back with him if he drops hints drop them right back at him. If he touches you touch him back.

I used to work with a guy i swore up and down he's bisexual. He would flirt with me so much and always touched me and i did the same right back to him. I remember we pose for a group selfie and of course he slightly bent over and had his ass right against my crotch i was hard and i'm sure he felt it. I had my hands on both his hips like i was mounting him. He never said anything.
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I bet that was little awkward but sounds like you enoy it too
 
Instead of making it about you and him, pose a hypothetical question, such as you've been reading this book called Men Who Have Sex With Men, and that most of the guys in this book are straight. And ask him, "As a bi guy, I'm curious about how totally straights guys think and you're one of my few really straight friends. (This flatters him, and makes him think you don't think of him any other way. "So, hypothetically, could you ever see yourself doing that?"

Since it's hypothetical, you haven't put him on the spot. And he's free to say what he thinks.
 
Today we went to a sports bar early in day because he wanted to watch the game. The last time we hung out, I texted him after coming home saying I think he's such a sweet guy. He didnt respond so I didn't know how he felt about it but he was not uncomfortable around me and never brought it up.

When it came time to order, he was almost kinda ordering for me, like guys do with their girlfriends. Not something I ever experienced but it was both really cute but slightly annoying and pushy.

We talked about maybe taking a trip to Vegas one day. We hung out about 6 hours at the bar and later his house
.
There was no footsie this time because we were sitting at a bar, not across from each other. His friends met up with us too so I never had much private time to just ask him if he's curious. I don't know how I'm going to ask exactly but I know I want to at this point and not keep putting it off.

Sometimes when we talk and making eye contact, I gaze into his eyes very briefly and I can feel him doing the same.
 
GayMan321 said:
I bet that was little awkward but sounds like you enoy it too
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I did enjoy it, it was fun but he was way too open about it especially at a workplace. People thought we was dating.
 
Rexcalibr said:
Today we went to a sports bar early in day because he wanted to watch the game. The last time we hung out, I texted him after coming home saying I think he's such a sweet guy. He didnt respond so I didn't know how he felt about it but he was not uncomfortable around me and never brought it up.

When it came time to order, he was almost kinda ordering for me, like guys do with their girlfriends. Not something I ever experienced but it was both really cute but slightly annoying and pushy.

We talked about maybe taking a trip to Vegas one day. We hung out about 6 hours at the bar and later his house
.
There was no footsie this time because we were sitting at a bar, not across from each other. His friends met up with us too so I never had much private time to just ask him if he's curious. I don't know how I'm going to ask exactly but I know I want to at this point and not keep putting it off.

Sometimes when we talk and making eye contact, I gaze into his eyes very briefly and I can feel him doing the same.
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You have to sit him down when yall are both alone and see what happens. I don't think he's bi or gay curious i just think he sees you as a good friend but that's just my opinion. Just be careful with laying your feeling on him you don't want to scare him away.
 
Sorry to sound pessimistic but I just don't get the feeling he's interested in anything other than friendship. Bumping feet while eating out isn't much of a signal. I doubt think there's anything wrong with flirting with him but don't be surprised if he isn't interested. Is it worth losing a friend over? It may just happen. If you're committed to giving it a go then do some light flirting and see what happens. Hopefully it won't freak him out. Best wishes

Steven
 
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