Is sexual chemistry in relationships much harder for gays?

[SilverWolf]

Well I want to fuck and get fucked, and would be interested in doing both at the same time, so I guess alot of options are available for me.

 

[Seasoned]

Ah, the top v bottom discussion. This is what dating someone sorts out. Not everyone is versatile. This could be a deal breaker for a lot of people. Fortunately, my partner and I are compatable.

One of my friends who was a bottom exclusively used to say this when other bottoms would try to hook up with him, "and what are we going to do, giggle and bump pussies?"

 

[natedogg323]

I've had an interesting sexual life thus far...

Based on my life experience's I would say that yeah, it is! I've only dated a couple of guys since coming out and it's been less than positive. Most of my straight buddies pretty much see a girl, talk to girl, get girls number and fuck girl.

I'm not trying to generalize or say that gay guys can't have great sexual chemistry but the whole bottom vs top thing is a major compatibility issue.

 

[Nomenclature]

I've spoken to long-term couples who were both tops, or both bottoms. They seemed to do oral 99% of the time, and sacrificed by topping/bottoming for their partner as a labor of love, but only on "special occasions", such as an anniversary or when anal lube goes on sale or something.

 

[Ryuusei Boy]

That sucks. Most of the guys I find cute on dating sites are bottom-only -_-

 

[NewStart]

I know what you mean. Before my currently relationship, i thought it was crass to talk about the whole top/bottom thing, so I went on dates, brought the guy home and it turns out that we're both bottoms. It just doesn't work.

I think as crass as it sound, the top/btm question is an important one early on. When you're in bed, fumbling around...its too late.

 

[saymyname]

I've never really had that problem... I've been having awesome sex for the past 3 years (since I started having sex)... and most of the guys that I met were other "mostly top" kind of guys and we just have great oral sex (including rimming)... and then there's bottoms or versatiles... then I became versatile... idk... sex is awesome.

 

[saymyname]

Well the key word was relationship.

Congrats on the awesome sex though

I was replying both in the context of a relationship and single (I was in a relationship 1/3rd of that time, so...)

 

[Callum]

I read an interesting article in Psychology Today. It stated that sexual chemistry is actually not a deciding factor in starting a relationship, but increases the 'longevity' of the relationship.

I'm not sure if I believe that since the magazine isn't really scientific, but...

I've never been in a serious relationship...how does that "what position are you?" conversation even start?

 

[fetaby]

.how does that "what position are you?" conversation even start?

Sometimes you learn of their likes through rumor/gossip. Sometimes it's just asked. There's little to no shame in discussing it, from what I've experienced. And oftentimes it's part of the getting to know you small talk that occurs upon meeting.

 

[Corny]

I believe our main advantage is that most of us do talk a lot more open about what they really want in bed. There are so many straight relationships where they "just" have sex. But neither of them gets what he/she really wants. And eventually those couples end up having sex every other week or so or even more rarely. We "shift" that problem, we look right from the start for someone sexually more compatible. This might be a rough start but imho it pays off in the end.

 

[Corny]

^ yeah but um "errection issues" are different issues imho, something that isn't tied to homo or heterosexuality.