Is Sexuality A Choice

[Ninja108]

Nope. Why on earth would a person choose to be gay knowing all the hardships it will bring from family, friends, and society?

 

[marcuspig]

I find this thread an absolute vindication of everything that true liberals in the broadest sense have sought to uphold against reactionary conservatives.
I absolutely refute the very idea that sexuality is anything other than an INVOLUNTARY given as totally ridiculous. As soon as puberty hit I knew I craved man love, not girls and despite a whole load of disadvantages that followed I realised I was never going to shift that craving for a guy. I could have chosen to PRETEND to wanting a woman but that would only have created huge complications for the future AND involved another human being in the cruellest of deceptions.
As for Christians, if St Paul warns it is better to marry than to burn, surely this has to apply equally to gays? Can you imagine the sheer dumb stupidity of counselling a hetero man to pursue a gay relationship to sublimate his heterosexual needs?! So why is it ok in reverse?! Telling a gay guy to stay celibate is NOT the equivalent of telling a stright bloke to stay celibate, either, is it? For the stright bloke can always hope for a relationship whereas the gay has to rule it out. The whole thing becomes a nonsense.
And I agree wholeheartedly that if sexual orientation is NOT a choice that has major political implications that have to be addressed to our advantage.
CHOOSE to be gay in the early Seventies? You must be mad to even entertain the idea!

 

[Christopher123]

What are your thoughts? Do you believe sexuality and sexual preferences are a choice?

Not for me, personally.

But I can't speak for everyone.

I know a girl who woke up one day and decided she was in the mood to go out scouting for another chick just to see what it was like.

So I dunno. I think some people willingly dive into that kind of a lifestyle. But then maybe it was there all along (the desire for the same sex) and they just discovered it, who knows.

I don't worry about the technicalities or the 'scientific' theories. It's not gonna change anything anyway.

 

[Johnny Yen]

I say that sexual preference can be either and may evolve over one's lifetime.

 

[Circe Infuria]

I think it has been well established beyond the need for opinion or even discussion that sexual orientation is not something you choose. But, as searchcz points out, sexual behavior is a matter of choice. Your sexual orientation will limit or guide your sexual behavior.....

Agreed.

My first crush ever was when I was around 4, and it was on Harrison Ford playing Han Solo in the Star Wars movies....

Hell, I didn't even know what sex or sexual attraction was at the time, but I knew there was something about him that sparked my interest. I was also very aware that Carrie Fisher playing Princess Leia was very pretty, and I admired her, but there was no attraction for her whatsoever.

I saw what I later understood as "sexual tension/desire" between the two, and I found myself wishing I was Leia. Never once did I wish I was Han.

Therefore, there was never a "choice" as to who I was attracted to...it was just naturally towards men.

Now, with that said....

Even though I am straight, I do think women are beautiful, and I have no problem in telling fellow women that they're beautiful, gorgeous, or even hot. I can find women sexually attractive in a sense that I'm simply recognizing their sexual appeal. However, I do not feel inclined to act upon it.

I think that I could be capable of loving a woman, being sexually attracted to a woman, and even be sexual with a woman. But would I be happy? Ultimately, no. I am attracted to men, and always have been. Being with a woman would be denying my natural attraction to men, and that would prove to be disasterous for both of us.

 

[confusedboy23]

I used to think it was, but as of the middle of last year, I've finally decided to accept the fact that it ain't a choice! If only sexuality was a choice.....

 

[Circe Infuria]

Perhaps I need to clarify my previous post.

I am attracted to men, therefore I am straight. However, I do have an appreciation for women and their beauty. I have no desire to be in a relationship with a woman or have sex with a woman.

I was pointing out that, unlike most people, I do not have the typical knee-jerk "ewwwwwwwww being with (insert gender of choice) is GROSS!!"

 

[Christopher123]

wrong way to respond

There is no wrong way to respond.

People are giving their opinions. Opinions which matter to them.

That's not wrong.

To this day they don't really know what makes a person gay. Yeah, they have their theories, but no one really knows. I personally don't care. I am what I am and I can't change it.

And believe me, I've tried. Back in my "denial" days.

Sexuality and love are so complex that I don't even believe it has a place in the scientific world. Or, rather, science has no place in sexuality. And they need to just forget about trying to figure it out. Cuz they never will.

However this is just my opinion.

 

[Circe Infuria]

There is no wrong way to respond.

People are giving their opinions. Opinions which matter to them.

That's not wrong.

To this day they don't really know what makes a person gay. Yeah, they have their theories, but no one really knows. I personally don't care. I am what I am and I can't change it.

And believe me, I've tried. Back in my "denial" days.

Sexuality and love are so complex that I don't even believe it has a place in the scientific world. Or, rather, science has no place in sexuality. And they need to just forget about trying to figure it out. Cuz they never will.

However this is just my opinion.

Actually, in tryout's defense....he didn't realize that I am a straight woman. That was why he posted what he did.

Sorry for the confusion everyone.

 

[Christopher123]

Actually, in tryout's defense....he didn't realize that I am a straight woman. That was why he posted what he did.

Sorry for the confusion everyone.

Still, there's no wrong answer.

I'm not even sure if there's a right one.

 

[dammo1982]

Having read Yeaahhh's thread I was wondering about other people's ideas. Do you belive sexuality and sexual preference is a choice?

For me, it was never a choice. When puberty hit, I knew exactly who I was attracted to. Although it took me till I was 24 to come out, I always knew that it was males I was sexually attracted to.

What are your thoughts? Do you believe sexuality and sexual preferences are a choice?

In my case it is a choice. I always thought i was straight as i fancy women however, once i saw an erect cock in the locker room i chose to like it. I think its the same for most bi sexual people...we have a choice of whether to stay straight or not. As regards straight and gays i think its not a choice...it s something you are born with.

 

[Claudio63]

Sexuality is an urge, not a choice.

 

[LarsVenice]

When I was a small child, I identified strongly as female and played mostly with girls, although I never wanted to see them naked. I did want to see boys my age naked and play with them in a different way. My brother, OTOH, did like to hump the neighbor girl when they were only 5 and 6, and I thought that was gross. After puberty, I had daytime fantasies of having sex with girls, but my erotic dreams were always about boys, and this was puzzling to me. I enjoyed the dreams very much but couldn't understand why I was having them and never discussed them with anyone. When I was 14, my maternal grandmother became concerned because I always wanted to spend time with women instead of men and even said to me, "Do you want to grow up to be a homosexual?" My mother told her that I probably didn't even know what that meant, but I did because I had read much of Encyclopedia Brittanica by that time, especially the parts about sex.

In high school, no girls wanted to date me because in Texas in those days, girls were mainly interested in very butch guys, and I did not fit that description. I was able, however, to get boys to go out with me, possibly because I had a car at an early age (inherited from my paternal grandmother when I was 14) and could take them to the drive-in when they couldn't get dates with girls either. Also, I could help them get summer jobs working on my father's farm or feed store.

In college, we had sensitivity sessions in one of my German classes that was held off-campus and was somewhat underground. After class, we could take off our shoes, close our eyes, and mill about the room until we bumped into someone. Then we would have to feel of that person until we recognized who that person was. Most people felt of faces (not very helpful), but this stimulation made me realize that I much preferred touching guys than girls. The German class was 3/4 male and 1/4 female, and so that made the odds pretty good. There were several guys (probably straight) who were strikingly handsome that I got to touch as much as I wanted, and that was a huge turn on for me. After touching men, touching women was a major let-down.

I don't think conditioning had anything to do with my sexuality, although I will not rule out that possibility for others. I was conditioned to be straight, but that's not how I turned out, and I have two straight brothers who had the same conditioning that I had.

 

[Neji]

Definitely not

 

[capper269]

It was not a choice for me. Oddly, for many of my younger years, I thought it WAS a choice, and wondered why I couldn't CHOOSE to be 'straight' because that is what I thought I was SUPPOSED to be (environment, religion, family, etc.). During my junior year of high school - in the guy's locker room - it crystallized in my mind that I was not 'supposed' to be any way except that in which I was, which was sexually attracted to both genders (and probably moreso to my own gender). In high school, I never had any same-gender encounters, other than fantasy. In college, though, I finally found enlightenment, love, acceptance, and my first same-sex relationship. Although it didn't last but about a year, it did help to cement in my mind who I was and what my "orientation" (god I hate that word) was. After college, I dated, and ultimately married a beautiful woman, we had children, and would still be married if cancer hadn't taken her away from us. Today, I am in a very loving relationship with a man, and we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. How do my kids feel about it? I raised them from the beginning to keep an open mind about everything, and they are very accepting. They miss their mother, of course, but they also love my new partner as well.

 

[ok455]

I think if if sexuality was a choice alot of people woudnt be gay right now.

 

[Matthew-]

Sexuality is NOT a choice.

 

[UC3543]

I don't believe it is a choice as far as who you are attracted to. Whether you are born that way or something happens very early in life to make you attracted to male or female - I have no idea.

It is a choice to act on the attraction though. That is where the debate really comes in on whether you act on that attraction. A lot of christians would say, it is a not a sin to be attracted to someone of the same sex, but it is a sin to act on it. Just like it isn't a sin to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex, but it is a sin to act on it - have sex to someone of the opposite sex you are not married to.

 

[Shepherd 2]

No, sexuality is not a choice.
But sex is.
If I choose you will you come over this morning?
Shep+

 

[Geminodas]

if its a choice then how do you explain people that hate being gay? you know the self-repressed self-hating types