Is Something Wrong With Me?

[bbroxxors]

I'm not quite sure how to explain my problem, so ill start with everything.

i'm in no way a slut but i have been with "a few" more guys than most of my friends.

my problem is, out of all the guys that i've been with, i have only let one touch my dick.

the thought of being touched by another person there totally repulses me and i only let him do it cuz he was the first guy that i was in love with [we no longer date but are friends]. i mean... i'll have anal and oral sex with a guy, no problem, but when it comes to them doing that stuff to me.... no thanks, i'd rather be the girl in the relationship...

when i think about it it might have come from being raised to always make sure others are comfortable and pleased, because my mother was a nurse and was always helping people out, i may have worked this behaviour psychologically into my sex life...

is this completely normal?

 

[bbroxxors]

i guess i should have also mentioned that being held and hugged and cuddled doenst bother me... i love hugging! its just...

i dont know, i just dont like to be touched "there"

 

[12fear99]

Cuddling and touching just go together so well. Love it so much. Maybe I do not understand correctly. To me it all goes together.

 

[Pringle]

It takes all sorts to make a world. Define normal for me and I will answer your question.

There is probably an issue as to why you don't like being touched "there" - but I doubt your Mum being a nurse is it.

In a sexual way I prefer to please than be pleased (well thats not strictly true - it pleases me to please someone else) but at the end of the day its what works for you and it is only an issue if it stops you getting what you want out of life.

 

[bbroxxors]

no, thats what i also thought was wierd... i have no clue as to why i wouldnt like it, i just don't...

 

[bbroxxors]

im prety sure im gay, i mean, i dont hate women, i just dont get aroused by them at all... i love looking at men and being with men... its just i dont like being touched...

maybe its just my way of protecting myself from being hurt if the relationship doesnt work out, cuz it took a year before i let the one guy i ever did let touch me... well... tocuh me, hehe

 

[bbroxxors]

repressed? you mean like it happened and ive just blocked it out?

 

[bbroxxors]

well, its possible, i remember one time my mom and uncle got into an argument because when he babysat me one time he took me to his friends house who happened to be a registered sex offender and left me there with my cousin [his son] so he could go to a bar... i don't particularly remember that day but i do remember the argument about that day

 

[neoachilles]

I'm going to throw a question out there: do you often touch yourself down there? Is your aversion to having your penis touched focused mainly on others, or do you just not like having it touched, period?

 

[bbroxxors]

yes, i do...

its just other people that i dont want touching me down there....

 

[neoachilles]

Okay then, in that case, let's try a different angle. What goes on in your mind when you're having sex? do you feel a kind of anxiety when you think about someone going for it? Are you revolted? How did it feel when you let that one guy touch you there? And, if you can derive pleasure from touching yourself, why is it that you can't translate that into enjoying a lover's hand on your penis?

 

[bbroxxors]

when im having sex, im thinking about wether or not my partner is comfortable....

the first time i ever let the one guy touch i thought my heart was going to explode... i thought the world was going to end... but i really liked him so i let him do it again a few nights later and with each time it got easier but only for him

im still very much in love with him, i just know that that relationship wasnt going to go anywhere.... we still fool around sometimes and he knows how i feel about being touched but sometimes in order for him to get release he likes to touch me and i let him... mind you its not every time we fool around

 

[neoachilles]

Okay, well, I would imagine that your hang-up with having your penis touched is tied into intimacy issues. You have strong feelings for this friend of yours, so it's easier to let down your guard with him. A couple more questions: When you actually allow this friend to touch you, do you get any pleasure, or are you just going through the motions to make him happy? Do you try to let go and enjoy yourself? And has this aversion presented a serious problem with other potential boyfriends?

 

[bbroxxors]

only with one other boyfriend did it cause problems... and i have to admit that i only went through the motions of him touching me to make him happy...

i just dont understand how i feel this way, especially when i love to hug and cuddle and hold people....

 

[LoveIsNow]

i'd rather be the girl in the relationship...

Would you rather be a girl in general?

 

[Dakarai]

oops lol - double post

 

[Dakarai]

Nothings wrong with you however you def got intimacy & trust issues - I was just like you pleasing my partners and never let them return it but I discovered I am being selfish to myself and them bastards were to greedy to use alil persuasion to elo passiona me - Now I take charge and own my sexuality - I spin a web, reel them in, sink my poison fangs into them - ride em and take em off into heaven -

You will come out of it - you just need to learn how to trust someone enough to touch your phallis, Allow yourself to just let go and feel someone pleasing you for a change

 

[neoachilles]

You know what, let's take this question beyond the physical. Are you the kind of person who tends to put everyone else's needs over your own? That's how it sounds to me. I know in your original post, you said that you were brought up to make sure others were comfortable. But, could it be that you are so concerned with pleasing others, that you can't handle someone wanting to please you? Perhaps that mentality has become so pervasive, that it has even taken root in how you express yourself sexually. I'm not sure how you are in a sexual situation--whether you're vocal and aggressive, or merely submissive, or maybe something else entirely. And I'm not a shrink or anything. All I can say is that I think you should take a moment and just ask yourself what is it you want, without worrying about anyone else. What is it you're afraid of, and how can you get past your fear? What do you need to make yourself feel good? You know, the next time you find yourself having relations--of a sexual nature --just let go a little, and take what you want. Trust me, if it's good, your partner won't mind.

 

[bbroxxors]

growing up, i watched my mother tend to everyones needs and help anyone she could she tended to herself... i cant count the number of family members and friends shes taken care of when sick, or lent money too, or let stay with us when they had no where else to go, and now that im older... i do the same... i go out of my way to make sure people are doing ok...

and maybe it does have a little to do with ocd. i usually offer to clean my friends homes when i come over. and my current job makes since [im a personal assistant, so im always making sure my client is healthy and has everything in her life in order]

im not particularly bothered by the fact that i dont want people touching me "there"... but it did bother me when i knew that in order to keep the relationship [with the one guy i did let touch me] going and healthy, i would have to compromise and not be stingy... i want to thank all of you guys for helping me understand that its just me... and i think in the future if i do meet "the one" i will feel comfortable with him

but im just not comfortable letting anyone else...

oh lord, i hope with this post i didnt bring about more confusion, lol

 

[godson112]

I don't particularly like other guys there because they make me come to quickly. I like to stimulate myself at my own pace while having sex. I've never seen a problem with it. I just push their hand way and take over and do it myself.