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is this a normal fantasy 4 a supposedly 'gay' man to have or am i bi?

H

honeyboy92

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ok i posted about this earlier but got no responses so i thought it might be because i mentioned women so i think i may be bi. well anyway whenever i am having sex i fantasize about women but not really in a sexual way. i imagine myself hurting them, clawing at their faces and hitting them. :badgrin: i havent really done any of that before but i think about it nonstop and it almost arouses me. but the female body does not arouse me and i do not want to hurt men at all, i am an incredibly gentle soul by nature. does this just come with the territory of being gay or am i a lil straight perhaps? bi? *|**|*hope 2 hear from u all soon*|**|**|*:sex:
 
Well one thing for sure, thats not a fantasy you will want to act upon.
I dont think it means your straight. By the 'purest' definition that would mean you have romantic/sexual feelings and attractions to women...and to women only. By your own words thats not the case.
Bi? I dunno.
A sadist? Maybe lol.... j/k
 
I don't think it makes you bi. I do think you should think about talking to a professional about these fantasies. Somebody who is safe and can't tell anyone, but who can help you wrap your head around these fantasies and try to get to the route of them. It worries me that these fantasies might be caused by some sort of hurt you've been caused and that your "fantasy" might end up becoming a reality someday if you let it run rampant. Especially since this doesn't seem like a sexual fantasy so much as a violent fantasy that sexually arouses you.

I don't know you and I don't know if you're capable of hurting somebody, but it might be good to talk to somebody who can help you find the root of these thoughts and urges before you are compelled to act on them.
 
This sounds more like a deep seated anger toward women than you being straight or bi. I agree with midnight81, find someone to talk to.
 
So you think because you have a very strange liking to woman abuse you're gay/bi?
I don't think so, just get someone to talk to.
Gay men aren't abusive to women. Not the normal ones, any way.
 
I'm bisexual and never fantasized about clawing a woman's face or hitting her. I think if a violent thought came into my brain during sex I would lose my erection. I agree with the others that a shrink might help you figure this one out.

I believe Freud said that dreams are a wish fulfillment. Did you ever come out to your mother or other female relative? If so, did they react badly? Maybe you sense that some important woman or women in your life strongly disapprove of you having sex with men. This may cause you to want to injure a woman when you are having sex. Just a thought.
 
im gonna go against the consensus here... i think youre at least a little bisexual, and i dont think its necessary to get therapy. you have sadistic fantasies, and thats just fine and dandy, as long as you are a sane, responsible person. there are women who get off on getting hurt, in a safe, sane and responsible way. explore your bisexuality and your sadism, the fantasies you have with women and the ones youhave with men; have fun, dont feel ashamed, dont do anything stupid.
 
consent is everything. consent transforms scary violence into a wonderful sexual experience for all involved. just as the lack of consent transforms "harmless" vanilla sex into unforgivable rape.

as for misogyny, yeah, his fantasies are probably rooted in misogyny. the thing is, once a sexual fantasy has formed, its impossible to get rid of it. in my opinion one should accept the kinks and desires one has been given and run with them. have fun! of course, make sure that you are not an actual misogynist in real life.

and i hope you didnt miss that i keep mentioning "safe, sane, resposible, consensual"
 
I have to agree with the dissent. The most sane person (gay or straight) has pretty fucked up and disturbing things pop into their heads sometimes. Acting upon those thoughts is an issue. Being consumed by those thoughts in an issue.

If you ever find yourself in a position to have sex with a woman you're attracted to, by all means try it. I for one think it's great. But don't beat her up. Simple!
 
you still sound pretty gay
you just seem to have some inner intensity and aggressiveness that wants to find its way out when you're having sex. don't beat the shit out of your partner but just use some of that energy.
 
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