Is this gay? (long)

[joshbjr]

I know a lot of straight guys who have these man crushes on other guys. no joke. i'm not out to everyone except a few close people and most people dont assume i would be bi. anyway, i notice a lot of my straight guy friends, some who even have girlfriends, will have crushes on celebs, friends, etc. just for example, my one friend always makes joking passes at me or other guy friends. he would always say stuff like, "what up cutie" or "you got the best body", etc. i was always suspicious of him but we were high one day and i totally started making moves on him (touching, grabbing, etc). he was like what the fuck? i was like lets do something and he totally laughed it off and went on doing whatever nonsense he was doing. he just naturally assumed it was that i was high but i knew it wasn't that. i really didn't like him like that but i just wanted to tease him a bit.

In the case of most straight guys, i think they like to tease and joke around with other guys who are straight. i dont think this would be the case if he knew you were bi. i think a lot of younger guys are just so sexually frustrated and need an outlet. its not gay, just normal. i wouldnt put to much emphasis on his actions towards you especially if you have ever noticed him do stuff with other guys. unless you really want him, i wouldnt risk the friendship. your to hott anyway to deal with confused guys. go out and find a stand up guy if thats what your looking for want right now. unless you want a real relationship with him and not just a sexual one, there are many guys who can fill that role.

I agree with you 100%, and that is how I normally thought of guys. Example why- a few months back , he calls me and sayes "wanna head up to the mall with me" sure. we go he starts looking at calanders like playgirl and other calanders with guys naked/or almost. He said its a gift for his g/fs roomate, ok so as where looking He flips thru all the pages and sayes they guys dont look good enough or something to that effect. I just was like ok, although I never heard a striaght guy say that outloud. But this time it just seemed so like intense kinda. Just looked back square in the eyes and start rubbing my leg and then rest his hand on my knee. Even if I forget about this, he keeps making think with things that he sayes. Once we hangout after work one day I'll see what he does

 

[lovrboy24]

I agree with you 100%, and that is how I normally thought of guys. Example why- a few months back , he calls me and sayes "wanna head up to the mall with me" sure. we go he starts looking at calanders like playgirl and other calanders with guys naked/or almost. He said its a gift for his g/fs roomate, ok so as where looking He flips thru all the pages and sayes they guys dont look good enough or something to that effect. I just was like ok, although I never heard a striaght guy say that outloud. But this time it just seemed so like intense kinda. Just looked back square in the eyes and start rubbing my leg and then rest his hand on my knee. Even if I forget about this, he keeps making think with things that he sayes. Once we hangout after work one day I'll see what he does

i don't really know you but are you an outgoing, talkative guy? or are you more of the silent, athletic, typical straight acting guy? do you have alot of girl friends? i find that guys who have a lot of girl friends are usually easier to talk to, easier to get along with and more sensitive. if your not, maybe he is trying to tell you in a subliminal kind of way that he is not completely straight but you just don't respond in the way he wants you too. maybe he is scared of not being accepted like you may be around your other male friends. in that situation maybe he wants you to say something like, "oh, your so right. he totally isn't hot" or "are you sure this is for your girlfriend? if you wanna talk about something, we can. im totally cool with that type of stuff". its probably hard for you bc, if i remember reading in another one of you posts or profiles, your not completely open about your sexuality and probably dont want anyone being suspicious, but my question still is whether or not you like him? if you do, i find i sometimes read things into other guys actions and make them out to be something more than they really are. don't take it as i'm saying your a lier or something, but when the heart wants something it makes things not as they seem. what you posted just now makes me think though that there is something very straight-curious, if not bi with this guy. my ultimate piece of advise, even though i know you probably wouldn't listen because i know i wouldn't (being that i need to experience something for myself and not take others advice), don't fall in love with a straight or confused guy, it will only hurt you in the end. it'll give you great memories but lots of pain. Best of luck tonight.

 

[joshbjr]

i don't really know you but are you an outgoing, talkative guy? or are you more of the silent, athletic, typical straight acting guy? do you have alot of girl friends? i find that guys who have a lot of girl friends are usually easier to talk to, easier to get along with and more sensitive. if your not, maybe he is trying to tell you in a subliminal kind of way that he is not completely straight but you just don't respond in the way he wants you too. maybe he is scared of not being accepted like you may be around your other male friends. in that situation maybe he wants you to say something like, "oh, your so right. he totally isn't hot" or "are you sure this is for your girlfriend? if you wanna talk about something, we can. im totally cool with that type of stuff". its probably hard for you bc, if i remember reading in another one of you posts or profiles, your not completely open about your sexuality and probably dont want anyone being suspicious, but my question still is whether or not you like him? if you do, i find i sometimes read things into other guys actions and make them out to be something more than they really are. don't take it as i'm saying your a lier or something, but when the heart wants something it makes things not as they seem. what you posted just now makes me think though that there is something very straight-curious, if not bi with this guy. my ultimate piece of advise, even though i know you probably wouldn't listen because i know i wouldn't (being that i need to experience something for myself and not take others advice), don't fall in love with a straight or confused guy, it will only hurt you in the end. it'll give you great memories but lots of pain. Best of luck tonight.

I know what you mean about if everything happened this way. And yes I reread it about 3 times even toned it down a little that way I can get a honest opinion. I know it would be really easy to add a few details to make it seem that he is gay, but this is how everything happened.
Iam more of the silent type, we both are very outgoing- I could be talked into anything he is a little less outgoing but still very outgoing. Id say we have equal guy/girl friends nothing abnormal. Iam not they type to go up to my friend and start rubbing/touching them. I dont want to try anything casue we have been friends forever and we got eachothers back in everything. I dont even want to screw with that. But more and more I think about times where he could have been sending a hint. He only does this kinda stuff in smaller groups and agree he doesnt want people to know if he was-curious/bi. Like the one nite it was only 3-4 down there at the time, Me, him and another friends (who wouldnt notice if a bomb went off, just kinda ablivoues to everything)

 

[lovrboy24]

I know what you mean about if everything happened this way. And yes I reread it about 3 times even toned it down a little that way I can get a honest opinion. I know it would be really easy to add a few details to make it seem that he is gay, but this is how everything happened.
Iam more of the silent type, we both are very outgoing- I could be talked into anything he is a little less outgoing but still very outgoing. Id say we have equal guy/girl friends nothing abnormal. Iam not they type to go up to my friend and start rubbing/touching them. I dont want to try anything casue we have been friends forever and we got eachothers back in everything. I dont even want to screw with that. But more and more I think about times where he could have been sending a hint. He only does this kinda stuff in smaller groups and agree he doesnt want people to know if he was-curious/bi. Like the one nite it was only 3-4 down there at the time, Me, him and another friends (who wouldnt notice if a bomb went off, just kinda ablivoues to everything)

from what you said, i wouldn't even give it a second thought. it sounds like he may definitely like you to a degree but you don't want any part of it. if i was you just ignore the gestures, and if they ever annoy you, just be honest. tell him it makes you feel a little uncomfortable that he is touching or teasing you even though you know he is "joking". I would just try and put it out there more and more that you are totally accepting of all people. maybe he just really wants to talk and express whats going on through his mind and he doesn't have anyone or anywhere to really be honest about himself. You, for example, have this forum and maybe a couple of friends. your friend, on the other hand, may have nothing. he may be completely terrified of talking about this stuff with others. If you are truly good friends, try and be there for him in that way. it will only help your friendship grow in the long run.

 

[joshbjr]

Okay so its been awhile since I followed up on this. I didnt do anything because Id rather just lets things go however he intends. But now he deff seems much more gay-ish. Now this is all based off what is considered gay or stright in my own life. Iam lisitng all the thing that have changed about him below be 100% honest with what you think.
1- He calls me more just to hang out, even thought it mainly consists of the 2 of us walking around in the dark or hanging around the house. which alot of the time he wears a tanktop.
2-He talks more about more personal stuff, example(things thats hes afraid off due to stuff that happened when he was little)
3- We are almost always outside, and he always has to take a piss in the woods like he wants to show something off
4-he clings alot more to me when we go outside at night since he "doesnt wanna be raped" in the dark areas of our suburbs with little crime.
5-three of us hanging out at 1am I say I gotta go. he says alright and walks over and hugs me, not like a couple of buddies but like more.
6-wants me to come to his college and hang out/wants me to live in the house they got.
7-he no longer has a g/f, and he didnt seem to take advantage of a chick who wants him untill it was to late....and she was hot
8-always playing with his balls/looks like hes rubbin his cock as we watch tv or hang around.

 

[sethie]

After reading your comment I realize your question was probably already answered but I still wanted to put in my input. Being a law student I figured I just couldn't leave this alone. In my opinion I say he has to like you. If he doesn't he is just trying to let you know he too is gay or bi. What straight guy grabs on to you in the dark for safety. I mean hugging to say goodbye is gay too but I will give him a past just because I do it with my super manly straight friends. See what comes out of it though and let me know because your cute and I would think he's cute as well. Cute people have to stick together so try to make it work for the rest of the pretty people who think love is dying in the world like myself.

 

[tylercadude]

I say go for it and tell us what happens. and post pictures.

 

[PhoenixRandall]

Okay so its been awhile since I followed up on this. I didnt do anything because Id rather just lets things go however he intends. But now he deff seems much more gay-ish. Now this is all based off what is considered gay or stright in my own life. Iam lisitng all the thing that have changed about him below be 100% honest with what you think.
1- He calls me more just to hang out, even thought it mainly consists of the 2 of us walking around in the dark or hanging around the house. which alot of the time he wears a tanktop.
2-He talks more about more personal stuff, example(things thats hes afraid off due to stuff that happened when he was little)
3- We are almost always outside, and he always has to take a piss in the woods like he wants to show something off
4-he clings alot more to me when we go outside at night since he "doesnt wanna be raped" in the dark areas of our suburbs with little crime.
5-three of us hanging out at 1am I say I gotta go. he says alright and walks over and hugs me, not like a couple of buddies but like more.
6-wants me to come to his college and hang out/wants me to live in the house they got.
7-he no longer has a g/f, and he didnt seem to take advantage of a chick who wants him untill it was to late....and she was hot
8-always playing with his balls/looks like hes rubbin his cock as we watch tv or hang around.

Hey, I responded early on after you posted the original thread, and now that I have read more of your posts on the topic as well as those of other guys online, I stand by my original point and wanted to reiterate it to you.

It sounds like you and this guy are pretty good friends and have a good relationship. You also seem to be fairly mature and not tied up in the emotional confusion typical of a 17-22 year old kid.

Having said this, why can't you just have an honest 'adult' conversation with the guy on what you are thinking or feeling about his behavior? The conversation does not have to be blunt and full of sexual inuendo or accusatory. It can start with something subltle and off key like, "hey dude, I was thinking the other day that I think it is cool that you and I are the kind of friends that we are. It is cool that we can hangout, hug without being wierd, or touch in a way that other guys would panic over......" Put that into your own words / language of course, but leave it as you are cool and unafraid/concerned and you are not pushing him for anything. You might be surprised what you find out from him if he is comfortable to open up....at the time you make the statement of later after the point had it's chance to root itself in his head.

I was in the exact same position as you once and after I got up the spine to have the conversation I am suggesting, I was shocked and delighted at what I found out. The guy in my life is bisexual and was waiting on me to not only admit I was gay but also to recognize and talk about how he was interacting with me. We've been very good friends ever since (were even before that conversation) and have enjoyed a sexual relationship as well. We can still talk about anything at anytime, including sex, feelings, direction, etc. and it is a great thing.

Good luck to you and let us know what happens.