Is this guy looking for something?

[backpacker]

You need to get him alone and tell him what you put in this post. You could start with something like "I need to talk to you about something. I'm really glad that things are cool between us and that's the most important thing to me, but I'm curious what you thing about what we did?"

 

[Jerry]

careful man, sounds to me like your trying to convince yourself that this thing is more casual than what it really is.

i've noticed it a lot on these boards. someone posts about how they just wanna be friends with benefits and by the end of it they are head over heels for the "fuckbuddy" and they're stressing out over what the other guy is thinking. if it really was that casual, you wouldn't really give a shit

You may be right. But I know he isn't interested in a "relationship" with me. That's just not gonna happen. I can see what you mean about getting too serious though, and I can see how that might cause some problems for us.

So maybe the smart thing would be to just forget it and not do anything sexual with him anymore, but I'm having a really hard time not wanting to do something when I'm around him. He was sitting next to me last night and he started playing with my ear so I rubbed his thigh a bit and later he basically asked me to grab his ass (so I did). It's really hard to forget the sexual stuff when he's basically flirting with me like that.


So like Backpacker said, talking to him seems to be the answer. Problem with that is I don't think he wants to verbalize this stuff. I think it'd freak him out if I just came out and talked openly to him about it. This sucks 'cause I'm happy things are good but I'm so frustrated at the same time. I don't know, I guess I'll just give it more time and see what happens. He said he's going to be around this weekend, so maybe I can get some time with him and we can figure this out.

 

[kramer362]

Next time the two of you are alone watching a movie on your bed or something, if it's gotten back to that point for you two, see if he initiates something.

I'm sure what happened between you would be on his mind in that situation, and he probably trusts you, so then the ball will be in his court. I think talking openly about it might freak him out and ruin what the two of you have if he isn't comfortable with his curiosity/sexuality. Basically act exactly how things were before the day you and him fooled around with all the shameless flirting etc you described, just don't initiate something sexual. That's my two cents anyway

 

[Moogle86]

Next time the two of you are alone watching a movie on your bed or something, if it's gotten back to that point for you two, see if he initiates something.

I'm sure what happened between you would be on his mind in that situation, and he probably trusts you, so then the ball will be in his court. I think talking openly about it might freak him out and ruin what the two of you have if he isn't comfortable with his curiosity/sexuality. Basically act exactly how things were before the day you and him fooled around with all the shameless flirting etc you described, just don't initiate something sexual. That's my two cents anyway

I agree with that. Wait until he takes that initiation again before opening up that dialogue. Then the ball's in his "court."

 

[Jerry]

Well I ran into him again at his work today. He was joking around like I was his boyfriend in front of our other two friends, so that's cool that he's relaxed some since when this first happened.
I talked to him earlier today too, he saw me outside my door and called me over. We just shot the bull for a minute but he kept pulling his shirt up and looking at me smiling. I wanted to grab him right there but I had to get back to work.

So anyway we might hang out tonight, not sure yet. He asked me what I wanted to do tonight and I asked him what he wanted to do, but he didn't answer 'cause someone called him away (at his job). So we'll see what he does.

 

[Coffee]

Milboy, you know what? you and him are always interesting

 

[Jerry]

Haha, well I'm glad you think so. It sure has been "interesting" for me.

I didn't see him tonight, I fell asleep so I don't know if he stopped by and my roommate turned him away or what. He didn't call or text though, so who knows.
Oh that's right, he was talking about being roommates again, but I may have already mentioned that.

I'm interested to see what'll happen this weekend if he stays around here. If he keeps up the way he is, I think something's going to definitely happen. I can't take much more of him teasing me. Even though I love it.

But if we get to that point, I think I'll pause and ask him then what he really wants out of all this. The last time we "played" I stopped and talked briefly about us remaining friends and stuff, so this time I'll just ask what his intentions are.

 

[Jerry]

Well guys he did stay here this weekend.
We hung out last night with our other friends and he called me this morning to hang out and do some stuff today.

I'm getting the vibe that he doesn't want to do any sexual stuff anymore. I still haven't actually talked to him about it, but I don't think he's interested in that anymore. Which is fine but it kinda sucks for me because I really like him and everytime I see him I want to have sex with him. But I'll get over it.

I guess he has a girlfriend now too. I talked to her on his phone last night. She seemed like a nice girl so that's cool for him. Maybe I'm a little jealous, but that's life. I need to get over my attraction for him. If he stopped teasing me it'd probably be easier. I might have to say something to him about that. I mean he knows I want him and he's apparently not going to give me any, but he keeps pulling his shirt up and rubbing himself in front of me. He definitely knows what he's doing to me. Which seems kinda mean if you ask me.

But on another note, I met another guy here and spent some time with him last night before I met up with my friends. He seems pretty cool actually, and he said he would call me today sometime to drink together tonight. We'll see if he does or not.

 

[Coffee]

I think things are confusing as they were... If you can stand this situation, keep it as it is, don't mess up .But I doubt that because you've been thinking a lot, you seem want everything's clear... I think something's not clear may be better, just enjoy it if you're fine with it. If you're stressed because of it, as everyone says, talk to him...
For the new guy, I'm curious. Keep posting. Good luck!

 

[Jerry]

"He asked me once if I was gay and of course I said no."
Why did you say "no?" That was kind of a romance killer.

I said no because I'm not gay. I'm bi. Haha But seriously, we're friends and I know he likes girls like I do. If I would have said yes it would have been bad, trust me.
But I'm pretty sure he's clear now anyway.

I still like him and wish we could be together, but I really don't think it'll happen so I'm giving up. I'm happy just being his friend.

As for the new guy, he never called last night. I was out with friends anyway, but it would have been nice to atleast hear from him. I'm not going to worry about it too much right now, maybe something came up or whatever. I mean I just met him once so who knows. But I thought we got along pretty well so maybe I'll hear from him in a few days or whatever. No big deal I guess.

 

[KaraBulut]

As for the new guy, he never called last night. I was out with friends anyway, but it would have been nice to atleast hear from him. I'm not going to worry about it too much right now, maybe something came up or whatever. I mean I just met him once so who knows. But I thought we got along pretty well so maybe I'll hear from him in a few days or whatever. No big deal I guess.

And the other guy is probably thinking to himself, "Oh well, I never heard back from Milboy, so he's probably not interested".

Stop being passive and waiting for the phone to ring.

Send him email or a text saying, "Sorry we weren't able to meet up again last night- I got tied up with some other friends and didn't get home until late. I hope we can hang out again sometime this week- give me a ring sometime".

If he's interested, he'll call. If he's not, then there are plenty of other guys to chose from.

 

[Jerry]

And the other guy is probably thinking to himself, "Oh well, I never heard back from Milboy, so he's probably not interested".

Stop being passive and waiting for the phone to ring.

Send him email or a text saying, "Sorry we weren't able to meet up again last night- I got tied up with some other friends and didn't get home until late. I hope we can hang out again sometime this week- give me a ring sometime".

If he's interested, he'll call. If he's not, then there are plenty of other guys to chose from.

Well I did send him an email and I haven't heard from him. Whatever, no big deal.

Spent the day with the first guy today though. I was feeling pretty tired but it was still nice to hang out with him.

 

[Jerry]

Haha, I was just starting to think that I wasn't going to find anyone here and I get an email.

I put an ad on CL a while ago and this guy just responded to it. Been talking for a while now and he seems cool as hell. He's 21 and the funny thing is he's in a class with my best friend. It'd be funny if he was by him while he's texting me.

I hope he works out so I can have a good bi 'friend'.

Wish me luck guys

 

[racer2438]

yes he wants some, so just be honest ask him.


But dont forget the condom's.............be safe....

 

[Coffee]

Haha, I was just starting to think that I wasn't going to find anyone here and I get an email.

I put an ad on CL a while ago and this guy just responded to it. Been talking for a while now and he seems cool as hell. He's 21 and the funny thing is he's in a class with my best friend. It'd be funny if he was by him while he's texting me.

I hope he works out so I can have a good bi 'friend'.

Wish me luck guys

ok... great luck!

 

[stripes]

so any update on how things have been between you and this dude?

 

[Muscles4daze]

A friendship is the only thing you should be pursuing with this guy. I have been in a similar situation and it did not turn out to good. I think your friend is gay, but that is something he can not admit to himself or other people, so he's gonna continue to date females so he can convince himself he is not gay. I really think you should refrain from grabbing his ass and all types of other flirty acts. You are setting yourself up for a broken heart man. His fear of being labeled gay is stronger than his love for you. Closet cases are nothing but drama man, trust me I know.

 

[nautiboyjeff]

any update on this?

 

[Jerry]

Hey guys, haven't been around in a while but I saw a couple posts asking for updates so I thought I owed it to the people who have helped me so much.

Not really too much to say, we've been cool but we haven't seen much of each other just because we've been doing different things. I did stop by his room the other night and gave him head again but it was just something we both wanted. I know he's probably atleast bi, but whatever. I still like what we're doing and so does he apparently. It's at my discretion, he doesn't ask for it, and we're still friends aside from it. Actually, I knocked on his door the other night. When he answered and asked what was up, I said, "You know why I'm here". So he let me in. It was all me. I'm good with that.

I talked to him the other day and he had some really genuinely nice things to say to me, so that was nice. I know he's never going to be "with" me, and that's fine. He's a good friend and a nice guy, and I enjoy our time together, regardless of what we're doing.

So that's it I guess. I finally broke past the barrier with a friend though, and that was something I had tried to do for years. I never thought he'd ditch girls and be with me exclusively, nor did I want him to. I just wanted to have some fun with my friend and still retain a good relationship. I think I've done that, and I'm happy with it. I did notice the last time that he was alot more comfortable with me and the whole situation though. So maybe if recip is something he's considering, he'll warm up to it. I'm not going to push him, but we'll see. Honestly, I don't care. He's freakin hot and he lets me play with his naughty places. That's fun. And in the day time we're still friends like normal. Works for me!

 

[Kyanimal]

THANKS! for the update! Have been thinking of you, from time to time. Good to hear that things, in general, are going well!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

P.S.
Are you familiar with this thread?

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238211

It is rather long, by now, but definitely worth the read!