Is This It

[HappySmiles]

As some of you may know, for the longest time Ive been questioning my friends sexuality. up until last night, we had never gone passed a hand job etc. However, he decided that he wanted a blow job ,and well I gave it to him. What shocked me the most is that he then turns to me and asks me if he can blow me. I pause for a little bit and I say "sure." After were done, he tells me that he is just curious and not gay. He then tells me about a list and that he likes to try things at least once but he is def not gay. I should also mention that he did have a few beers but something tells me he wanted to get drunk on purpose. We have messed around before while being sober. He just confuses me a lotttttttt. He knows that I am in love with him and that kinda makes me look a bit eh.

Anyways, we just talked and talked. He kept telling me "I dont want to take you home." So we went to eat and then came to my house. When we got to my place he just hanged and then wanted another blowjob, but I told him no since this is my parents house and I wanted to be respectful lol. He also kept touching me as If I wanted another one but I kinda didn't. He then left a bit upset. I insisted that he stayed over since he was a bit drunk but he wouldn't listen to me , so he went home. This morning, my mother found out that I had a boy in my room and she got really mad at me. She knows that I'm gay and claims that she doesnt care as long as I don't bring my business here. I told her that it was just a friend and that he was straight but she thinks hes gay so that makes her mad. My mother can be very annoying because she wants grandchildren. I tell her that I can adopt and she says its not the same lol. I'm also only 20 so its not like Im gonna be a creating anytime soon.

So what would you experts label my friend as ? I dont know what to believe but since he plays the straight card thats what I usually see him as.

 

[KaraBulut]

I would label your friend as an annoying distraction that is keeping you from finding a real man who is not afraid to admit his feelings, admit what he is and return your love.

 

[HappySmiles]

I would label your friend as an annoying distraction that is keeping you from finding a real man who is not afraid to admit his feelings, admit what he is and return your love.

I kinda feel like I'm committed to him. He tells me that he is what I want, and that I wont ever find anyone like him. He knows that I'm crazy for him. At times, I could feel like his puppet , but I guess that's my fault. In the end, I really do want to end up with him.

 

[TX-Beau]

I kinda feel like I'm committed to him. He tells me that he is what I want, and that I wont ever find anyone like him. He knows that I'm crazy for him. At times, I could feel like his puppet , but I guess that's my fault. In the end, I really do want to end up with him.

So this is all your issue, your choice, and I don't see what you want the rest of us to say to you about it.

 

[rareboy]

I agree with the other posters.

He's a closet case.

Your mother is an hysteric. I'd tell her to get her dirty little mind out of the gutter. Or ask her if it would be okay if it were a girl you brought home to fuck.

As for your crush on this other guy....ask yourself why you' want to lug around his baggage. At this point he's just using you.

 

[KaraBulut]

In the end, I really do want to end up with him.

But, in all likelihood, you won't

The question is how much time must pass before you admit that to yourself?

 

[HappySmiles]

I agree with the other posters.

He's a closet case.

Your mother is an hysteric. I'd tell her to get her dirty little mind out of the gutter. Or ask her if it would be okay if it were a girl you brought home to fuck.

As for your crush on this other guy....ask yourself why you' want to lug around his baggage. At this point he's just using you.

My mom knows it very clearly that I am gay. She just doesn't want me to bring my lifestyle home, and I dont. Its not like I flaunt my sexuality at home or anywhere in general its just that I dont understand her. The other day my mom saw that my brother had a bag full of condoms and she was alright with it. I told her "What if I had the bag of condoms," and she just ignored me lol. The fact is that ever since I came out my family has not stopped talking about gay people. I have a 14 year old sister and shes just very ignorant about the whole situation. Its kinda sad when the only person that shows me respect is my step dad.

As for this guy, well I feel dumb talking about him. My whole problem with him is actually figuring out what he is. I dont think a straight guy has "sucking dick" on a list of things to try lol. The fact is that he kinda knew what he was doing while he went at it. Its been a year now of just emotional drama. The whole messing around process started this year. My friend says that Im so infatuated with him since he has the look that I go for (typical Spanish looking boy with beautiful eyes lol) However, Ive grown to really love him as stupid as it may sound. I may only be 20 but sometimes I feel like he is what I'm expected to end with. We talk about the future and living together and all that but while I may be real about it he could be all talk. At the end of the day, I am probably being played and that just my fault for allowing it. I guess I come here and express myself since I don't really know who to talk to.

 

[rareboy]

Its been a year now of just emotional drama.

And if you don't put an end to it, it will be a lifetime of emotional drama.

Not only is the guy a fucked up closet case, he's also got to be quite aware that he's fucking around with your head and heart. The fact that he continues to do so demonstrates a really nasty side to him.

Get new friends. Look for the right guy to love who can and will love you equally in return.

And your mother really should get help for her problems as well. Her dictum against you bringing your 'lifestyle' home with you clearly indicates that she hasn't fully accepted your sexuality. Hopefully you'll be moving out on your own soon.

 

[KaraBulut]

And if you don't put an end to it, it will be a lifetime of emotional drama.

Not only is the guy a fucked up closet case, he's also got to be quite aware that he's fucking around with your head and heart. The fact that he continues to do so demonstrates a really nasty side to him.

Get new friends. Look for the right guy to love who can and will love you equally in return.

Rareboy and I don't always agree on everything.

But the one thing that we always agree on is that life is too short to waste valuable time and energy on lost causes.

This guy is a lost cause.

Lose him. Muy pronto.

 

[Spiff]

So what would you experts label my friend as ?

Trouble.

It's one thing for someone to want to remain closeted. But to be closeted and deny what he is when he is with you. . . just bad news.

 

[Caaake]

sexuality is so not black and white. He wants to suck dick. You answered your own question when you said "I dont think a straight guy has "sucking dick" on a list of things to try lol" sounds like to me this list is an excuse for him to be sexual with a guy without it meaning anything about his sexuality. He's lessening the value of what it is, but fact is.. what happened is what happened. Proof is in the pudding.

Btw, can you describe how was he touching you when he insinuated he wanted another blowjob?

 

[bankside]

Here's how it is, starting from the example of a straight guy figuring out his identity.

If you don't want to have any kind of sexual involvement with another guy, you're straight.

If you definitely want to try something sexual with another guy, then you are definitely bi-curious.

If you tried it, and disliked it, or decided it really didn't do anything for you, and have no interest in doing it again, you're no longer bi-curious, you're straight.

If you tried it and can definitely see yourself doing it again some day, congrats- you are bi.

If you tried it and totally enjoyed it more than any past experience with women, and you realize that you don't want to waste her time or yours with straight sex you don't enjoy, then congrats - you are gay.

So, your friend wants to come back for more. According to the definitions above, he would be bi.

But there is one more category.

If you tried it, liked it, came back for more, but you want to pretend to the guy and the world that you don't really like it, and you don't mind stringing the guy along as long as you keep getting some head, then you are not straight, gay, or bi, or bi curious... you're just an asshole.

Your friend needs to read this.

 

[HappySmiles]

sexuality is so not black and white. He wants to suck dick. You answered your own question when you said "I dont think a straight guy has "sucking dick" on a list of things to try lol" sounds like to me this list is an excuse for him to be sexual with a guy without it meaning anything about his sexuality. He's lessening the value of what it is, but fact is.. what happened is what happened. Proof is in the pudding.

Btw, can you describe how was he touching you when he insinuated he wanted another blowjob?

Well we were in my room when he wanted another round at it. He just touched me and then went over to my bed. I go over and he stands up and just whips it out. Since I was at home, I didnt want to do anything. So then he just left. All in all, I feel guilty at times because he does have a girlfriend. Every time we mess around he makes me reassure that I wont tell anyone especially her. However, he tells me that he doesn't have a girlfriend ,but I know since I talk to her lol. He tells me what I want to hear and I fall for it. Maybe I keep persisting because I really do want to end with him , but like some of you guys say chances are his not.