Is this love or what?!

[mightbeinlove]

I would give him the benefit of the doubt until you hear what he has to say.

It's Saturday now and I still have not heard from him. I guess I will never know what he has to say because if he is not answering my calls, how will I ever get to talk with him?

I know that there is always a chance that he is still with his family, his family could have decided to stay longer but deep down inside me, I'm thinking that he's really ignoring me for good!

 

[ejbonk]

It's Saturday now and I still have not heard from him. I guess I will never know what he has to say because if he is not answering my calls, how will I ever get to talk with him?

I know that there is always a chance that he is still with his family, his family could have decided to stay longer but deep down inside me, I'm thinking that he's really ignoring me for good!

Just keep a good thought,Cheer up, Re-Focus on you. Take a few Deep breaths and Go out and have some fun. Do something you have never done before,or Go Someplace you have never been before. Travel a new Highway. Do anything,but do not stay at home thinking about him.

He'll be back anyday now,and You'll feel really silly about all this,when everything goes back to Semi-Normal.

 

[mightbeinlove]

OMG!!! He called!!! He called at 1am and I've just gotten off the phone with him.

I really do feel like a silly boy right now. I guess I was wrong after all.

He told me that he had just received those messages I've sent because his area had really bad cell phone signals. I felt like an idiot when he told me he wasn't ignoring me.

He had gone out to the store in town to get some food and he took his mom's cell phone with him and called me (apparently his mom's provider had better signals).

He told me he was finally coming back and will see me tonight - Sunday night!!!

I'm going to go get some sleep now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his parents will not make any last minute changes and decide to stay a day or two longer.

Thanks guys!!!

 

[ejbonk]

Just keep a good thought,Cheer up, Re-Focus on you. Take a few Deep breaths and Go out and have some fun. Do something you have never done before,or Go Someplace you have never been before. Travel a new Highway. Do anything,but do not stay at home thinking about him.

He'll be back anyday now,and You'll feel really silly about all this,when everything goes back to Semi-Normal.

See,I told you,that it was something simple and that you had nothing to worry about. Keep Us Posted.

 

[mightbeinlove]

Maybe my previous post was simply premature!

It's 9:15pm and I am still at home waiting for his call but I don't think it's going to happen.

I have called him twice. Once at 6pm and left him a message "I wasn't sure if your flight is at 4pm or if you will get back in town at 4pm. Call me. Can't wait to see you tonight".

Called him again at 8.30pm. No answer.

Funny thing is - it rang many times before it went to his voicemail!!!

I've kept myself busy all day today to refrain from thinking about him and even prepared myself for the worst - that it's all over.

I don't know why I feel so pessimistic but I just feel hopeless right now. At the same time, I also feel like I am prepared to be alone and not even bother with love.

I cannot help but to think back and reflect on our conversation at 1am this morning when he called.

Snippets of that conversation:

Him: Hey, it's me in the middle of nowhere.
Me: OMG! I was wondering what had happened to you or if you have decided to ignore me.
--He explained to me his bad cell phone signals bla bla bla--
Him: NO I am not ignoring you. I am coming back Sunday.
Me: What time?
Him: 4pm.
Me: Cool. Why don't you come over and spend the night until I go to work the next day?
Him: Sure. You know I'm moving soon right?
Me: Yeah. May 21st, right?
Him: Sooner.
Me: Why?
Him: My parents want me back home sooner. 13th.
Me: Don't worry. We can always visit each other.
Him: Yeah.
Me: But you're definitely coming back Sunday? Promise?
Him: You know my parents. You know I cannot promise that. 98.5% I will be back. My parents wanted to stay longer but I told them NO WAY.
Me: OK. So you spend the night at my place Sunday and how about I spend the night at yours on Monday?
Him: I don't think so. I need to pack.
Me: I don't mind the mess.
Him: No. It's just depressing to be at my apartment.
Me: OK. In that case, stay at my place and when I go to work, you go home and pack. Come back to my place when I finish work. By the way, I am off work Tuesday.
Him: Cool. That would be good. Hey, we need to go to a traditional English tea service before I move out of town. I will do some research and we can go on Tuesday.
Me: Awesome. You know how much I love cakes and stuff.
Him: I got to go. I will call you tomorrow when I get back.
Me: Goodnight.

Maybe I tend to over analyze things and situation but there's this little part inside of me that thinks that he could be lying and just leading me on. My mind is painting picutres like "Maybe he has been back for a long time but didn't want to see me".

But throughout that conversation, I have heard his ups and his downs. I could feel that he was sincere and I could feel his different emotions. We both know that we are both very "sensitive" people, we've talked about that.

I felt like he was angry with some of his family, and concerned about his upcoming move interstate and was happy about our plans for this week.

I might be fantasizing but I hope I am not. I hope that he is real and I hope that at the very least, we can have "a chance".

Should I be waiting? Or should I let it be and move on?

 

[ejbonk]

Maybe my previous post was simply premature!

It's 9:15pm and I am still at home waiting for his call but I don't think it's going to happen.

I have called him twice. Once at 6pm and left him a message "I wasn't sure if your flight is at 4pm or if you will get back in town at 4pm. Call me. Can't wait to see you tonight".

Called him again at 8.30pm. No answer.

Funny thing is - it rang many times before it went to his voicemail!!!

I've kept myself busy all day today to refrain from thinking about him and even prepared myself for the worst - that it's all over.

I don't know why I feel so pessimistic but I just feel hopeless right now. At the same time, I also feel like I am prepared to be alone and not even bother with love.

I cannot help but to think back and reflect on our conversation at 1am this morning when he called.

Snippets of that conversation:

Him: Hey, it's me in the middle of nowhere.
Me: OMG! I was wondering what had happened to you or if you have decided to ignore me.
--He explained to me his bad cell phone signals bla bla bla--
Him: NO I am not ignoring you. I am coming back Sunday.
Me: What time?
Him: 4pm.
Me: Cool. Why don't you come over and spend the night until I go to work the next day?
Him: Sure. You know I'm moving soon right?
Me: Yeah. May 21st, right?
Him: Sooner.
Me: Why?
Him: My parents want me back home sooner. 13th.
Me: Don't worry. We can always visit each other.
Him: Yeah.
Me: But you're definitely coming back Sunday? Promise?
Him: You know my parents. You know I cannot promise that. 98.5% I will be back. My parents wanted to stay longer but I told them NO WAY.
Me: OK. So you spend the night at my place Sunday and how about I spend the night at yours on Monday?
Him: I don't think so. I need to pack.
Me: I don't mind the mess.
Him: No. It's just depressing to be at my apartment.
Me: OK. In that case, stay at my place and when I go to work, you go home and pack. Come back to my place when I finish work. By the way, I am off work Tuesday.
Him: Cool. That would be good. Hey, we need to go to a traditional English tea service before I move out of town. I will do some research and we can go on Tuesday.
Me: Awesome. You know how much I love cakes and stuff.
Him: I got to go. I will call you tomorrow when I get back.
Me: Goodnight.

Maybe I tend to over analyze things and situation but there's this little part inside of me that thinks that he could be lying and just leading me on. My mind is painting picutres like "Maybe he has been back for a long time but didn't want to see me".

But throughout that conversation, I have heard his ups and his downs. I could feel that he was sincere and I could feel his different emotions. We both know that we are both very "sensitive" people, we've talked about that.

I felt like he was angry with some of his family, and concerned about his upcoming move interstate and was happy about our plans for this week.

I might be fantasizing but I hope I am not. I hope that he is real and I hope that at the very least, we can have "a chance".

Should I be waiting? Or should I let it be and move on?

Wait,But be prepared to move on after the 13th. What is the Deal with his Parents? They appear to have an extremely large amount of control over him. I wonder,If he's back,but they came with him. That would explain alot. Is,He out to his parents? If not this is the Main Issue for the Behavior,He has shown to date.

Need a smiley to show concern.

 

[texan_slant]

mightbeinlove - I hope that you're doing OK, and I hope that this doesn't sound too harsh, but here is my feedback...

I don't know why I feel so pessimistic but I just feel hopeless right now.

It's not healthy to feel hopeless already! Please take a step back...

If my understanding is correct (from reading your first post) - you've only known him for two weeks? It might be premature to classify your relationship as being wrought with love. I understand mental and physical attraction, and "love at first sight" - which is that attraction that you have with one another, however, it's still so premature that you can't place all of your eggs in one basket and assume that it's the love of your live in a two-week-time-frame, when in fact, you have to allow it to evolve.

Your internal happiness has to come from within - and not from other individuals. Love can't make you happy unless you're already happy; love can't be there to fill that void - and the same goes for your friend who is grieving.

At the same time, I also feel like I am prepared to be alone and not even bother with love.

Being single and not having a partner to love shouldn't have to mean being "lonely" - those two characteristics should be mutually exclusive.

Sometimes it's also good to let relationships occur naturally rather than trying to "find it too much. "They" say that before you can share your life with anyone, you gotta be comfortable with being single also. The underlying theme to this is that you have to know what you want, be comfortable in your own skin, know and have your own likes/dislikes, and as a result, you end up being happy "from within" - first and foremost.

I might be fantasizing but I hope I am not. I hope that he is real and I hope that at the very least, we can have "a chance".

Should I be waiting? Or should I let it be and move on?

To answer your last question, it really sounds like you *do* have that "chance" - you really have to do both - "wait and also let it be" at the same time. You won't really know how your relationship will work until you allow it to grow, breathe on it's own, and it takes its course naturally.

Try not to over-analyze his every single action/reaction/communication. There is know way to know this soon - if he likes you - he likes you; if he doesn't - he doesn't. You have to give it some time and space, don't "force" the relationship, and try not to put all your eggs into this same basket. Otherwise, it'll come crashing down.

 

[mightbeinlove]

Sometimes it's also good to let relationships occur naturally rather than trying to "find it too much. "They" say that before you can share your life with anyone, you gotta be comfortable with being single also. The underlying theme to this is that you have to know what you want, be comfortable in your own skin, know and have your own likes/dislikes, and as a result, you end up being happy "from within" - first and foremost.

I’m usually quite OK with being single and I don’t usually feel all that lonely but there are just days when I am alone and stressed out or depressed when that really comes crashing down. Most days, I am OK and I do have a good number of friends that keep me occupied enough. I don’t think that I am really trying hard and actively out there find love and a relationship.

To answer your last question, it really sounds like you *do* have that "chance" - you really have to do both - "wait and also let it be" at the same time. You won't really know how your relationship will work until you allow it to grow, breathe on it's own, and it takes its course naturally.

This might sound like an oxymoron but while I don’t think I am actively seeking love, I go absolutely crazy when I meet that someone whom “I think” or “feel” that there could be “chance”.

In this case, I feel and I really do hope that we have that “chance” but all that is happening right now is really confusing me.

I guess I am one of those people who would rather know the harsh truth sooner rather than later. I mean, if he is really not into me, then I would prefer him letting me know that now instead of being lead on.

Thinking back on what I have written in my thread, I think perhaps my greatest fear and concern is “being lead on”.

I know that it is nobody's fault but my own should I choose to over-analyze but that's really how my stupid brain operates. I tend to be a perfectionist in all that I do - at school, at work, at home, in life in general - I guess you could say I do have some sort of Obsessive Compulsive (OCD) traits. I know that this might give me an edge in some ways but man, it really kills when it comes to these personal things like love!

 

[mightbeinlove]

Wait,But be prepared to move on after the 13th. What is the Deal with his Parents? They appear to have an extremely large amount of control over him. I wonder,If he's back,but they came with him. That would explain alot. Is,He out to his parents? If not this is the Main Issue for the Behavior,He has shown to date.

Need a smiley to show concern.

I can totally understand his position with regards to his family because we have very similar backgrounds. Please do not judge us and I hope I don't sound too snobby here. See, we come from pretty well off families and we kinda have always relied on our parents to "feed our lifestyles". Our parents do have a pretty large amount of control over us because we don't want to be "cut off", if you know what I mean.

That aside, I am more concerned about his real thoughts and feelings towards me than whatever his parents are up to. If he really "liked" me, I would be OK and would feel a lot secure if we could at least talk everyday or something.

He is currently in City A for the funeral, and I live in City B. He has been in my city for about a year for school but has since quit because he didn't like the course and have decided (before we met) to move back to City C for school where his family is based.

His parents are not coming here with him (not that I know of anyway). As far as I know, he is coming back here alone. His parents will go back to City C from the funeral but I mentioned that his parents wants him to move back to City C sooner hence the 13th.

Although he will be moving back to his parent's city, he won't be living at home. He has a condo to his own and I live in my own place too, so I guess we can still visit and see each other IF we do talk again.

The big question - is he out?! YES, he has told me that he did tell his parents that he is bisexual. Only his parents know and nobody else - none of his friends know. I guess he is one step ahead of me because nobody knows about my bisexuality besides myself.

We have even "joked" that even if and when we both had our own families in the future, we would become the next real life "Brokeback Mountain" couple!

 

[tallguy297]

Hey mightbeinlove,

Wow... you have certainly put yourself through an emotional roller coaster over the last 11 days! I hope that you are feeling a little better right now...

Theres no way that you can go through life putting yourself through the wringer every time you meet someone you like or who might like you. No one deserves that sort of self abuse and especially someone who comes across as so genuine, loyal, loving and understanding.

Mate... what you have to understand is that what you are going through... that agonizing pain of doubt that takes forever to play out... is largely self inflicted... so in a way thats good... it means you can work through it and beat it.

And its not something that you need feel bad for either... its a hugely common thing to over analyze and create fear where none should be. More often than not what you are feeling comes from within rather than the other person... but until you understand that you will struggle with this over and over again... no matter who your partner or friend is. And thats one of the keys... understanding that this is not an issue specific to PJ.

mightbeinlove... I'm guessing when you are alone, when life is under your control you feel safe and confident. When you are the one making the decisions things seem smoother and calmer somehow. You're in your comfort zone... and even thought there are things that you'd probably love to change about your life you know that there are few nasty surprises lurking or things that you wont be able to handle.

But when you throw someone else into the mix you start to play second fiddle. Things that once mattered to you seem less important. The things that you liked and chereished somehow seem less significant. PJ's opinions and feelings become paramount and sometimes over took your own. His needs somehow ended up more important... his decisions somehow where the ones that were ok....

You lost yourself in the mix, you stood back, you forgot how important you were and you began to rely on him for your sense of you. It wasnt a deliberate thing... it was respect... politeness... a need for him to see how important that he was too you. You did it because you cared for him and wanted him to know that. It was all so well intentioned...

Mate... theres a few things at play here.

First you need to value yourself. You need to understand that the things that attract the PJ's of the world to you are important vital pieces of who you are. They're not things to lose or give up... nor are they things to change. You dont need someone elses permission to live your life or to be all you can be... you only need your own. You need to find the self belief and confidence in knowing that whatever that special ingredient you have that attracted PJ wont just disappear if you stop trying so hard.

You need to have faith in your own strength and value. You need to beleive in your own worth and your right to equal happiness. You need to realize that you don't need someone to complete you... what someone else brings to a realtionship with you is a bonus... not the missing piece to the puzzle.

Then mate, you need to use that new found faith in who you are to trust.

To trust that you are worthy and that he will call.
To trust that a night away from you doesn't mean the end.
To trust that a day without a text doesn't mean hes moved on.
To trust that sometimes life happens and things are beyond our control.

Is PJ the right one? Are you in love? Only you can say mate.

But until you realize that you are an incredible special unique guy that deserves love and happiness, and the security of an easy and fulfilling realtionship, you are going to keep hurting yourself and possibly driving others away.

Confidence is a learned trait mightbeinlove... and in the right measure is something that we all seek and are attracted to. Its not selfish to ask that our needs are met. Its not rude to be strong enough to say I dont need you to make me whole. You dont need to smother or be clingy or be in someones mind 24 hours a day to know that you are loved... you just need to know that you are worthy of it.

And you are.

 

[mightbeinlove]

Thank you tallguy297. Thank you for reiterating how important it is for me to look after myself and to value myself.

It is Monday night right now and guess what - he didn't call nor did he text. He "should have" been home yesterday but I guess he didn't make it on that flight.

It has been a busy day at work but I must admit that I had constantly checked my cell phone. I didn't want to come home after work, so I hung out with some friends for as late as I could.

I still believe that he is still caught up with his family and that he is sincere but I guess what annoys me the most is there is also that fear inside of me that's playing with my mind - telling me that he's not into me, telling me he doesn't want to see me no more.

It was difficult riding the train on my own because that was exactly what we did just we parted - we took the train together, I got off and he continued on to go home to pack for the funeral on that fateful May 16th. He had told me that morning that he wants to book tickets to go and join me when I go out of town for work in early June but I am not sure if that will happen. I was really looking forward to that.

I am about to go to sleep right now and I will keep your little quote in mind.

To trust that you are worthy and that he will call.
To trust that a night away from you doesn't mean the end.
To trust that a day without a text doesn't mean hes moved on.
To trust that sometimes life happens and things are beyond our control.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[ejbonk]

Thank you tallguy297. Thank you for reiterating how important it is for me to look after myself and to value myself.

It is Monday night right now and guess what - he didn't call nor did he text. He "should have" been home yesterday but I guess he didn't make it on that flight.

It has been a busy day at work but I must admit that I had constantly checked my cell phone. I didn't want to come home after work, so I hung out with some friends for as late as I could.

I still believe that he is still caught up with his family and that he is sincere but I guess what annoys me the most is there is also that fear inside of me that's playing with my mind - telling me that he's not into me, telling me he doesn't want to see me no more.

It was difficult riding the train on my own because that was exactly what we did just we parted - we took the train together, I got off and he continued on to go home to pack for the funeral on that fateful May 16th. He had told me that morning that he wants to book tickets to go and join me when I go out of town for work in early June but I am not sure if that will happen. I was really looking forward to that.

I am about to go to sleep right now and I will keep your little quote in mind.



Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

You mean April16th. Right? he'll call. Just Relax. I think this has alot to do with his parents and not you.

 

[mightbeinlove]

You mean April16th. Right? he'll call. Just Relax. I think this has alot to do with his parents and not you.

Yeah, I meant April 16th. Thanks for pointing that out!

I hope that you guys are right - that it's not about him, but his parents and that in time, it will all be OK!

I'm taking a deep breath now.....

 

[EvilForce]

I still believe that he is still caught up with his family and that he is sincere but I guess what annoys me the most is there is also that fear inside of me that's playing with my mind - telling me that he's not into me, telling me he doesn't want to see me no more.

I'm going to give you the same advice I gave someone else today. You don't like or love yourself much, or at all. You therefore assume that since this guy does seem to like you, he must be lying or playing games. After all in your own mind you are unlikable and unlovable and can't understand why someone else would. Until you learn to like and love yourself, how can you honestly expect to love someone else?

 

[mightbeinlove]

After all in your own mind you are unlikable and unlovable and can't understand why someone else would.

I think you've got that right. I am aware that I am usually very self-conscious about myself and sometimes I wonder if I do have self-esteem issues.

I ain't fat, in fact, some think I am a bit too skinny - I am 5'8" and weigh 145 pounds. But, everytime I look into the mirror, I feel like I just ain't good enough. I feel like I could more "athletic", I wish I had those "washboard abs", I was "cuter", the list goes on.....

Hence, everytime I meet a guy - I become very shy and skeptical. If anything more develops, such as in this case when he had told me that he liked me and bla bla bla - it just seems all too surreal for me.

This is really the second time that I am falling for someone so badly. Perhaps, it's because he really is cute and gorgeous and I can't believe that he would want to be with me. He was just like my first ex who was seriously like a model you would see on those twinky sites on the web!

I've had other guys which I have or have tried to be involved with but they did not hurt as much. I was able to better let go.

By the way, I still have not heard from him.

 

[EvilForce]

I think you've got that right. I am aware that I am usually very self-conscious about myself and sometimes I wonder if I do have self-esteem issues.

I ain't fat, in fact, some think I am a bit too skinny - I am 5'8" and weigh 145 pounds. But, everytime I look into the mirror, I feel like I just ain't good enough. I feel like I could more "athletic", I wish I had those "washboard abs", I was "cuter", the list goes on.....

Hence, everytime I meet a guy - I become very shy and skeptical. If anything more develops, such as in this case when he had told me that he liked me and bla bla bla - it just seems all too surreal for me.

This is really the second time that I am falling for someone so badly. Perhaps, it's because he really is cute and gorgeous and I can't believe that he would want to be with me. He was just like my first ex who was seriously like a model you would see on those twinky sites on the web!

I've had other guys which I have or have tried to be involved with but they did not hurt as much. I was able to better let go.

By the way, I still have not heard from him.

See what I mean? When you don't love yourself and I'd be so bold as to say you either hate or strongly dislike yourself (I'm not judging, I hated myself for far too long before coming to terms with it), when someone comes into your life and makes you feel good, even if only briefly you want much more of it, yet will smother/kill the flame once you allow your negative thoughts and habits kick in.

My guess here, and I may completely wrong, is that you mentally "judge" others constantly. When walking down the street mentally judging other, "he's fat", "she's got a weird nose", "why is he with him?", "slacker", etc. Because you do it to others, you assume they are doing it to you as well, which reinforces the low self-love you have.

You have to break the vicious circle, or you will keep on the same path. You need to find peace, contentment, and some happiness now. Your happiness is not contingent on finding someone else, living in the right city, or having a certain amount of money. Happiness and contentment come from within, and are not found via some external factor.

 

[mightbeinlove]

See what I mean? When you don't love yourself and I'd be so bold as to say you either hate or strongly dislike yourself (I'm not judging, I hated myself for far too long before coming to terms with it), when someone comes into your life and makes you feel good, even if only briefly you want much more of it, yet will smother/kill the flame once you allow your negative thoughts and habits kick in.

Yes, you are right. I do dislike myself – not on a daily basis but especially when I am down or depressed. You are right that I feel like I’m in paradise when someone does come into my life and makes me feel good. I have learnt not to smother and I don’t think that I have smothered this guy as much as I would have in the past. I feel like I am holding it back but obviously, I could be wrong. Or, in this case, he could be playing games or his parents really does have issues.

I mean, he was due to have been back on Sunday last week. How could it be possible that his parents have decided to stay another week out there in the middle of absolutely nowhere?!

I feel disappointed, sad, and worried but at the same time, I also feel angry – but when I do, I feel guilty. So I guess I really am in a mess.

You have to break the vicious circle, or you will keep on the same path. You need to find peace, contentment, and some happiness now. Your happiness is not contingent on finding someone else, living in the right city, or having a certain amount of money. Happiness and contentment come from within, and are not found via some external factor.

I am trying to accept myself. There are days when I feel like I’m doing great but there are those days when I feel like I am tumbling down. It is a vicious cycle and I know it all too well. If there was a magic pill, I would so love to have it but I guess there’s not. There is only a long journey ahead.

 

[EvilForce]

I am trying to accept myself. There are days when I feel like I’m doing great but there are those days when I feel like I am tumbling down. It is a vicious cycle and I know it all too well. If there was a magic pill, I would so love to have it but I guess there’s not. There is only a long journey ahead.

I understand completely. What helped me was not only learning about myself, but also to stop living in my head. To help others. That instead of judging someone else in a negative light, to stop myself and force myself to find something I found attractive in each person I saw that afternoon. Do they have a nice smile? A nice nose? A nice shirt? It broke the cycle of judging others negatively. Also, I learned more about my own self in my pursuit of Taoism. I was "unlearning" my uber-Christian upbringing and finding my spirituality anew.

 

[mightbeinlove]

I understand completely. What helped me was not only learning about myself, but also to stop living in my head. To help others. That instead of judging someone else in a negative light, to stop myself and force myself to find something I found attractive in each person I saw that afternoon. Do they have a nice smile? A nice nose? A nice shirt? It broke the cycle of judging others negatively. Also, I learned more about my own self in my pursuit of Taoism. I was "unlearning" my uber-Christian upbringing and finding my spirituality anew.

Thanks EvilForce. I will make it my goal today to try and see the beauty of each person that I come across today.

What I cannot understand though - why is it though "nice guys seem to always finish last"?! It bothers me. I ain't no saint. But in this case with this boy, I know deep down I am genuinely concerned for him, and for all that he was going through. Yes, I would have loved to have him in my life but I keep asking myself why do I deserve being given this sort of treatment. For him not to call, is heartbreaking. I have tried so hard to not to smother him or call him obsessively and if he is really where he is, he wouldn't be getting my calls anyway because of the weak signals there.

 

[mightbeinlove]

I guess we must be officially over - not sure if we ever started anyway. I guess I need to move on and I think I've just started on that.

It has been a week since he called, about 3 weeks since we last met each other, and it has been really painful since. I texted him just now "Remember me? I am not sure where you are and if you are back in town, but I hope you are well. Take care."

I know that I am still pining for him, hoping that he will at least call once. I am hoping for a closure even if it means him telling me it's over but I'm not sure if that will ever happen.

I still cannot understand how all this could have happened when nearly 3 weeks ago he had told me how much he cared for me, and even called to reiterate that and a week ago told me that he was coming back and was making plans to do this and that with me - but all of a sudden, he has suddenly not called or anything. Maybe he really is still out in the sticks but I guess I am doubting that.