The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Is this standard for a relationship

out1979

out1979

Joined
May 30, 2009
Posts
7
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Seeking advice...To make a long story short I met a wonderful guy back in October and we started seeing each other. Now we don’t want to leave each other’s side. However, when we have sex he does not seem to want me to give him a BJ or anything else. I love giving head and I kind of get turned off when I try to or ask him in the heat of the moment if he wants me to do that to him. He told me that he likes to give and receive but he wanted to take things slow for now. It has been over a month now and we are still just giving each other hand jobs. I know he said to me that he wanted to take things slowly, but how slow is slow?

Also, I know that he is a bottom and he knows that I’m a total top but we have not done that yet either. I know this comes slower than the BJ stuff and I don’t want to force anything upon him but I fall fast in love with him and I want to make him feel it. So, what I’m looking for is to hear what you guys think and if you have ever experienced the same type of situation as me. Also, how would you approach the subjects with him in getting this stuff going?

Thanks!
 
He sounds like a control nutcase.

Dump his ass before it is too late.

How many dates does it take before you conjugate?
 
We get off almost every time we meet. It just it is the same thing happening every time.
 
I think he has STDs and doesnt know how to tell you!
 
Maybe, but I don't think so. I know looks and actions can be deceiving and to be cautious when meeting new people, but I think it is something else.
 
Have you thought that maybe he was hurt before, and wants to take the time to get to know you before he opens himself up too much? Be patient. Communicate. But if you are so desperate that you can't wait until he is ready, explain it to him and be on your way. It'll be less painful in the long run.
 
>>>Have you thought that maybe he was hurt before, and wants to take the time to get to know you before he opens himself up too much?

I'd think this scenario was the right one...except that they're jacking each other off every night. I can understand someone not wanting to get involved too quickly due to being hurt before, but then I don't picture the same guy doing mutual masturbation with somebody. Seems like an odd place to put up a barrier to avoid getting hurt.

I'd say it's time for a frank talk. You like him, you dig him, and you want to keep seeing him. But as much as you're enjoying the jerk-off sessions, you're ready for more. Either he starts making inroads, or you start looking elsewhere.

Lex
 
Thanks for the responses I think that he may have been hurt before in the past but I don't know for sure. I want to give him the time he needs but I need to figure out a good way of bringing the subject up with him. I'm not to good at doing that.
 
Well, it's clear that he probably isn't going to bring it up on his own. So it's best to start thinking of how to do it sooner rather than later.

Lex
 
In any relationship, sex is important. You obviously discussed it at some point because you know what he likes to do. Tell him honestly what you want and then ask him in what timeframe he thinks he can allow himself to do the things you want.
 
G-Lexington said:
I'd say it's time for a frank talk. You like him, you dig him, and you want to keep seeing him. But as much as you're enjoying the jerk-off sessions, you're ready for more. Either he starts making inroads, or you start looking elsewhere.
Click to expand...

^^QFT.

Just one suggestion- don't have that talk in the bed or before or after sex. Have the talk when you're both mellow and spending time cuddling on the couch or out walking together.

Don't nag. Don't put it into negative terms like "I'm not satisfied". Instead focus on telling him what you want. Feel free to tell him how much he turns you on and what you want to do to/with/for him.

But if he keeps playing these games where he controls/limits your sexual activity, then move on.

Sex is supposed to be a time where you let go and just enjoy each other's bodies. When you have one partner who is controlling things, it stops being play time and turns into the sexual equivalent of arm-wrestling. And it's time to find a more willing playmate.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top