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is this strange am i weird??

J

jimibob321

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well hello everyone hope i get answers about this...

to put it simply i am a bottom i am 24 my first bj was only 3 years ago and well i change when i am going to have sex..
first of i could never and will never make the first move i get really really shy very quiet and cannot get the huge grin of my face i cum pretty much instantly when getting a bj or being touched also am very sensitive all over and get extremely ticklish for me it feels as tho its my first time every time...
its not that i dont enjoy it i have met 2 guys who really enjoy it but i would like to last a little longer lol..

so am i weird will i change or is this just the way i am any thoughts on this would help i think '-'
 
I think you are just extremely worked up about having sex, hence your heightened sensitivity and quick release when having sex.

In fact, judging from the way you write, you are probably keyed up just thinking about the situation - your words are all strung together which hints that you are trying to get all your thoughts out very quickly.

I am not sure if this is the solution, but if you were to have habitual release of your sexual energy, perhaps you would not be so tensed when you have sex with another person.

Of course, the flippant answer is that this behaviour is deemed natural if your are a very rich guy. If you are piss poor, then this is a weird behaviour. :-)
 
cheers for the reply and to be honest have never thought of that will give it a go next time :)
um i would fall under the piss poor category lol but i am cool with that haha (!)

cheers

also just a little curious when you said
the flippant answer is that this behaviour is deemed natural if your are a very rich guy. If you are piss poor, then this is a weird behaviour.
i just dont understand why lol if i dont ask i will never know.
 
My earliest sex, aged about 18-20, was exactly as you describe. I used to squirm if anyone even touched my knob and shoot before it was even hard. It's like the first few times you dive into the swimming pool. After a while it gets more familiar and the butterflies disappear. Practice, practice, practice.

P.S. If you want more feedback you should get this moved to the Coming out/Relationships forum.

P.P.S. What about exploring the exciting world of commas and full stops!
 
Essex Boy said:
....

P.S. If you want more feedback you should get this moved to the Coming out/Relationships forum.

P.P.S. What about exploring the exciting world of commas and full stops!
Click to expand...

I think more experience will change your reactions and responsiveness.
 
jimibob321 said:
well hello everyone hope i get answers about this...

to put it simply i am a bottom i am 24 my first bj was only 3 years ago and well i change when i am going to have sex..
first of i could never and will never make the first move i get really really shy very quiet and cannot get the huge grin of my face i cum pretty much instantly when getting a bj or being touched also am very sensitive all over and get extremely ticklish for me it feels as tho its my first time every time...
its not that i dont enjoy it i have met 2 guys who really enjoy it but i would like to last a little longer lol..

so am i weird will i change or is this just the way i am any thoughts on this would help i think '-'
Click to expand...

It's pretty normal to feel like you do when you're just starting out. After you explore more, you will learn to be in control more.
 
thats what i have thought but out of 6 guys and a minimum 20 times doing it i thought it would start to change by now...
i guess i will just try to not worry about it and see what happens.

and not sure if the coming out forum is the right place lol i came out over ten years ago its just a small town and i do not appear gay so just took awhile to find someone haha..
 
jimibob321 said:
thats what i have thought but out of 6 guys and a minimum 20 times doing it i thought it would start to change by now...
i guess i will just try to not worry about it and see what happens.
Click to expand...

As the others have said, it is a common pattern with younger, inexperienced guys.

You might want to consider finding a patient fuckbuddy or FWB and work through relaxing, not getting so excited so quickly and not getting paranoid that it's going to happen every time. Being comfortable and relaxed with a buddy that you have sex with on a regular basis is really a chance to focus more on enjoying sex and not stressing out and it's a good opportunity to explore things in a low-stress situation.

The other strategy that we often recommend is to make it part of the fun of the experience. The goal of sex is to get off and make your partner get off- so why not make it hot and fun? If you have a boyfriend or regular sex partner and the coming quickly continues, just have hot dirty fuck-me-now sex, get off quickly, then take a cuddle break and then, come back for seconds. Usually, the second time around you will have more control and won't come as quickly. And there's no guy that's not going to enjoy it when his boyfriend says, "Put it in me now- I want you to make me come!".


jimibob321 said:
...and not sure if the coming out forum is the right place lol i came out over ten years ago its just a small town and i do not appear gay so just took awhile to find someone haha..
Click to expand...

This is the Coming Out and Relationships which is a general-support forum where any topic about sex and relationships is acceptable. This forum and Health and Wellbeing are both in the No Flame Zone, so you're more likely to get thoughtful, respectful answers in these forums.
 
cheers KaraBulut maybe i have been looking at this the wrong way as it is a small place that i live in it has been hard to find anyone let alone someone who wants to meet before 12am lol.
i might have to look a bit further and see if anyone would be keen to just take it slowly or just get it done and go again..

thank you for the advice and different point of view ;)
 
jimibob321 said:
also just a little curious when you said
the flippant answer is that this behaviour is deemed natural if your are a very rich guy. If you are piss poor, then this is a weird behaviour.
i just dont understand why lol if i dont ask i will never know.
Click to expand...

My apologies, jimibob. Do not be shy; do ask - this is why we have a forum.

As for the rich/piss poor flippant answer, this is my variation on the statement where, if a rich man has an odd behaviour, he is said to be an eccentric. However, if a poor person exhibits the same behaviour, he is deemed mad.
 
You have got to relax and speak up.

At least in my experiences, big, deep breathing (inhale, then exhale) has helped me relax a lot during sex/sexual contact.

If you're uncomfortable, take your time and let the other person know what you like/don't like.
 
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