Is Your Cat Trying to Kill You?

[step49]

Hah, sweet! ..I mean.. I always knew they were up to something...

 

[JASON0980]

I have three of them. I think the only reason they haven't been successful yet is that one of them is a little slow, so she usually foils it by accident.

 

[G-Lexington]

They ARE trying to kill me...

...with LOVE!!!

Lex

 

[RationalLunacy]

.........

 

[RationalLunacy]

^...

I love kitties.

 

[Triple G]

Yes, evil killers they be.

 

[StlKj]

There's an old "wives tale" that cats creep into your bedroom at night and try to steal your breath.

When I could not figure out why I was so exhausted even though I was using my cpap machine, I checked the machine and the hose to make sure it was working properly.

He had been biting holes in the hose while I sleep at night.

I now duct tape my hoses when I get a new one.

 

[Reality101]

Damn... we've been found out.

 

[chatolandia]

My cat will never kill me, I am her only access to Tuna.

 

[step49]

My cat will never kill me, I am her only access to Tuna.

That's what you think...

 

[StlKj]

My boy loves me. He wouldn't try to kill me. *types with one eye on screen, one on sleeping cat at the end of the bed.*

he's only pretending to sleep

 

[Triple G]

My cat will never kill me, I am her only access to Tuna.

If she ever masters the can opener, be afraid, be very afraid.

 

[StlKj]

While funny, the cartoon is actually too long.

It really should just say:

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You.

"Does it have a pulse? Then it's a safe bet."

 

[Lefty]

Wagwag,

Your statistics are all and way wrong.

There are at least 75 million Cat OWNED people.

And more everyday, it is almost a cat-astrophy...

but no use having kittens about it, they are purrfectly

happy with the ratio.

 

[Ninja108]

My cat likes to sleep on the stairs... having seen some of these signs in her, I am now convinced she is plotting to kill me.

 

[frankfrank]

Somebody just showed me a cool site...Cats Against Clay dot Org

(But, of course, you'd type it all in, as one long word with the @ sign...)

Your cat WILL kill you if you give him or her clay-based cat litter.

 

[EveretteB1975]

i have own a cat for almost twelve years!! it never tried to kill me ,my cat only try to attack assholes!!

 

[EveretteB1975]

Why hasn't this been reported by every major news outlet?!?

crock of shit!! i been living with cats all my life a cat never attacked me but a dog sure did!!

 

[VileSLB]

Holy shit!

Further proof.

OMG!!! My grandmother swore up and down that you had to keep cats away from babies...because they would 'steal their breath'!!!

Pussy is deadly...

LOL!!!

 

[Paws]

http://tubbypaws.blogspot.com/2008/03/meow-you-can-has-lolcats.html